Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

[JulietteMontague]

Off we go...

Poppy, I agree with everyone else. It seems that at best he's very disorganised and not thinking about you. But I understand where you're coming from - it's easy to give advice to someone else, but I'd probably feel the same in your position. I hate not hearing from someone and not knowing what's going on in their head and why they haven't contacted me. But having said that, I still agree that you should step away from the phone/computer and try to be less available to him. This isn't making you happy at the moment, is it?

OWW, it's such a terribly hard time for you. Having recently been through a house move, that alone was enough to make me stressed out, let alone everything else you're having to deal with. I agree with all the advice you've been given by the others, who have put it much better than I could.

Snape, it seems so many of us are having tough times at the moment. And it's never just one thing at a time - we seem to be hit from all sides. So sorry to hear about the grievance, and good luck with the appeal. Good luck too with the job applications. Everyone on here can see how great you are, so let's hope whoever receives the applications can too...

Does it look as if DS1 might return to school soon? How is he?

And lastly ... I'm a feminist, and used to doing everything myself. But I totally get you - just occasionally, when things are really tough, it would be nice to have someone to look after and support me.

Snape -I'd love to have someone to look after me, I don't have anyone to help me in any way. I get so envious of friends who have siblings, partners, parents, whilst I have no-one. And I don't have half as much stuff on my plate as you do.

Great first day in new job. Everyone loves me and am away with the team overnight on weds just have to sort out the small matter of who will have the dc. And LC text me first thing to wish me lots of luck :)

Yay sponge! Glad it went well, I totally forgot you were starting today (what with one thing and another...).

libby at the moment school have agreed he goes in at morning break and sits in student support to do his work and will acclimatise to mainstay lessons as he sees for, starting with his favourites. Over the weekend he promised three days this week, including Monday, but he didn't sleep last night, I knew it wasn't going to happen when he brought me coffee at half six this morning. So I think we're going for two days this week, three next week etc.

Bantam I think you have underestimated Dinner. Dinner may well be followed by Coffee . Regardless its the third date, get your best pants on

Snape half an hour for a wank? I'm impressed.

Bant this will be our 4th date .. I'm not sure of the expectations either .. And he doesnt stay that close to jump in a taxi if i decide to leave (£35 taxi) He's been fine when I've said no though ..

snape. crap crap crap. I was talking about this with someone friday. how it always seems to be everything going wrong at once. and badly wrong at that. and im convinced its something to do with it all falling down to one person. so something big is usually shared, people get through it together, it being tough , but they do it. with us lot, something happens, there is noone to help or share it and the consquences are far reaching and it takes ages and ages to recover from.
sorry about it all, nothing i can say to make it better.

sponge - glad it went well. any nice eye candy?

poppy - as the others have said.

so - guess what? landlord no longer wants to evict me, something has come up and they want me to stay another 6 months or so. Ive said no. They arent sure about the thing thats come up and its subject to change, so could all change in a day, leaving me with a new eviction note. Plus im half packed. plus ive spent money on all the checks for the new house. PLUS they havent dont any maintance for 4 years and all the work they promised to do was so bad in JUNE, that the house wasnt rentable then. So, ill move out, the house is a state, they cant rent it as it is... and wont be able to rent it for such a short let anyway. Essentially i believe this to be karma. i dont believe in karma, but maybe..... just maybe
:)

Watch, can't believe the cheek of your landlord, evicting you just before Christmas, putting you through all that stress and then changing their mind and expecting you to stay. Glad you said no. Defintely sounds like karma to me...

Sponge, so glad your first day went so well. And it was really sweet of LC to text.

Snape, hope DS1 manages his two days this week. The situation must be so difficult for both him and you.

Bantam I see you didn't underestimate Dinner at all, a bit slow here Chez Julliette this evening

Kirsty unless you think Coffee is expected, would you feel comfortable staying over at his although I've many a past relationship that started because it was cheaper than a cab home

watch it is so good to know that after all that hassle, you are moving on to your lovely new house.

Evening all. Can I join in the crap-fest? It's just all crap here, I can't even be bothered to go into all the details. It's just all very, very...crappy.

Snape I'm sorry. No advice. Just empathy.

Sponge Yay for new job and nice text from LC

Bantam Dinner at hers on the 3rd date could well lead to Dessert (and by dessert I clearly mean Coffee). How are you feeling about that sweet trolley?

Kirsty Well, having just said that dinner could well lead to Dessert, it doesn't have to if you don't want it to. I love getting to see the other person's home and watch them cook for me - it has a completely different feel from being out. You could go to his for dinner but make it clear beforehand that you still want to take things slow?

Good evening all, I'm sorry I disappeared for a few days but I've been feeling a bit low and needed a bit of a break from the online dating world. This is a crappy time of year to be miserable and single, everywhere I look I seem to spot sickeningly happy couples. To make matters even worse, I have a 'couples Christmas dinner and disco' to go to this Sat with the yummy mummy brigade from school where I will be the only singleton. My survival plan for the night is to look smoking hot and get extremely drunk.

Sponge yay for a successful first day at work and another yay for LC's text!

Snape have a virtual hug from me.

Watch 3 cheers for karma! I hope it takes your ex landlord ages to find another good tenant!

I'm going on a date with the dishy doc on Friday eve. I know he's not looking for anything serious so hopefully if I can keep this in mind I'll just be able to enjoy a nice evening with a seriously gorgeous man. I just found it impossible to refuse a date with a man I find so attractive

Oh. I just got a text from the prof that made me cry. ' I only ever think of you with enormous affection, snape...plus a dose of admiration and a pinch of wistfulness.'

We're arranging dinner. He has a girlfriend now. I think that fact alone allows him to take me back to the ivy. & pay for it and for me to wear the lowest cut top I own would not do owt, but lines of demarcation and regret have to be drawn

juliette half an hour. Twelve times, minimum. I don't get that much time to myself, I have to hot-house.

Update. Dinner Thursday. Have promised to wear a polo neck.

Seriously not going to happen.

juliette and yoga not sure if Coffee or Dessert have been expected tbh

He didn't attempt to snog me at all on the first date and after he kissed me on the 2nd date (at the very end) and I said that I thought he was never going to kiss me he said something about gentlemen not just diving in for a kiss .. However he has sent a couple of flirty/saucy texts which makes me think Coffee is definitely on the cards

On Thursday we were supposed to be going to body attack and then dinner but I'd forgotten I am going to cinema with pals to see twilight early so i am just meeting him for dinner after that .. Body attack next week has been arranged though!!! :)

Ooh Kirsty yay!

And Snape!

I can't do this dating stuff. I really can't. How can someone go from being so keen to just not bothering to contact me unless he really doesn't give a shit and now that we've slept together he's off

snape that was a lovely prof text. I can see why he sent it. I feel somewhat like that myself and I've never met you! I really hope things get better soon, especially with your Ds. dinner will at least be a tiny bit of distraction.

watch karma rules ok. Sounds like you'll love your new house.

poppy it's hard not to fret. The only way I find it works is if I don't really fancy the man or if I have 3 or 4 on the go. But that's hard to get off the ground. Finding a good FWB is one of the hardest things. However keep away from that phone. Let it run out of power.

sponge. Great news about your first day.

I might be going out with date from last week on Thursday. He said he would pick me up so I can drink but I'll decline as drinking makes me see everything in a new light and before I know it I'll be on dessert and coffee.

Not heard from body builder after asking me out again at end of date and me saying in 2 weeks.

Very nice fireman who o thought was someone else has been in contact but not sure when we can meet as he lives miles away.

poppy maybe he doesn't give a shit and got what he wanted .. You getting in touch by text or email is not going to change his mind .. Lovingfreedom recommended 'why men love bitches' to me.. It is quite an entertaining read but it is full if common sense. Don't put your life on hold for a man is basically the message .. Fit them in around your life not the other way round

snape I somehow think the polo neck isn't going to work .. Soon there will be toes in places where they don't normally go!!

watch karma indeed .. Great news about the house

sponge glad the job went well today.. Didn't realise you were still in touch with LC .. What's happening there??

I've checked. I've sent him four emails or so, around four texts and left him a couple of messages on his phone over the last three days. And heard virtually nothing from him. I've screwed it up haven't I? I've messed it up.

Poppy you haven't screwed up. It is his issue not yours.

Please don't overanalyse it. I've been there. I'm there now. Get on with your life, do things that make you happy. He will either a) come to his senses or b) drop off the face of the earth.

If it's the latter then he was a prat anyway and you wouldn't want to be involved with a prat. You're better than that.

Oh Poppy, you sound so sad. You haven't screwed it up. We don't know what's going on with him, but whatever it is, it's not something you've done. It sounds like you got on great on Saturday, so how could you have done anything wrong since then?

I know you really like him, but even if he gets in touch, I don't feel he's right for you. It seems like you'll never know where you are with him, always be waiting to see if he can fit you in ... and that's no way to be. You deserve someone who's going to be considerate of your feelings and will put you first. You don't want to be feeling uncertain and paranoid like this.

Poppy you haven't messed things up, he's just being a git. Sadly there are a lot of them around. Online dating is so hard on the emotions, so exciting when you find someone you like and then a kick in the teeth when it all goes wrong. I'm feeling quite disillusioned with it all myself at the moment. You deserve to be treated far better than that.