Twirling body builders, dominant alpha males and been hurt in the past-Dating thread part 29

[Milkandlotsandlotsofwine]

Took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Off you go ladies and gents...

poppy, we know. you will be ok, you know.
sure it will all be better in the morning, but grab some cake, a blanket, a film and hunker down for the evening.

It'll pass, Poppy, sorry you're feeling shit. Just try not to invest too much too soon, it's nothing to do with how old you are, or how attractive you are, it's that he's flaky, honestly.

Poppy, I know the crap feeling when 1) something/plan/date etc has cancelled and 2) the object of your affection wants to slow down a bit

But - look at it this way, at least he's told you whats wrong (more than I'm getting from bloody BC at the moment!) and thats fine right? it's been a couple of weeks, there's no hurry. I can get easily overloaded, a bit like he's described and it's never a relfection on the bloke, just that I'm juggling too much and I'm frazzled.

Relax and don't try to force things or angst about contact etc. Keep on keeping on with your life - as was discussed on another dating related type thread today, a bloke should fit into your life instead of you fitting your life around the bloke. Plan something nice or exciting or indulgent for yourself to take your mind off the crappiness of tonight. And definitely have cake. You'll be ok!

Sorry about BC, Lubey Suppose but fwiw, I think you're doing the right thing.

Don't know where that random 'suppose' came from

I should have trusted the worst photo...

Posted from loo :)

Thanks hon (how are you btw?) Yeah, I know I am - it's ok and I'm ok don't worry. I don't know why, but I am probably knowing it's right helps a lot. And looking forward to the men 2013 might chuck my way probably helps even more ;)

like

I'm fine, treasure! Am slightly tense after giving up the fags and the weed a week ago... But I'm getting there!

I know you know you're right - I can hear it in your words!

bant run for it!

Still not quite getting there. I am analysing too much. Is there any point carrying on with online dating? Are there any real alternatives? What has anyone tried?

poppy, pah, its a numbers game. some people get lucky quickly, and others of us are still giving it a go years down the line.

online dating is unlikely to find you your perfect match, what it will do is get you out there, meeting people and maybe something will happen, and maybe it wont. but you cant count on finding anything from it.

it needs to be taken with a pinch of salt and not be the main focus of your life.

quite a few of us are ' on the sofa' which is not online dating. some of us are trying to make the most of rl situations, going out, working on social lives, trying to meet men in other ways. some of us are just bimbling along and hoping at somepoint we might meet someone nice.

but to consol you, there are millions of women in the same situation we are, it says nothing about us, you dont have to be part of a couple to be a valid person.

Poppy honestly just forgoet it all for a couple of days. Don't scour any OD type sites now, it will push you over the edge when feeling like this

I am erring on the side of preferring being oot and aboot in RL. All my relationships that have gone anywhere beyond about date 4 have been RL based. Have a look at meetup.com for your area... I'm a member of two of my local ones. The group does all sorts from walking to cinema to dinner and lots of cool culturey stuff. I don't think I'll do OD again. But, that's me.

SweetSeraphim thanks xx and you're doing SO well! Keep it up, it only gets easier from this point, as the physical habit starts to die away. The crappy moments will get fewer I promise!

puts head round door hello guys, may I join you? :)

I've been following your threads on and off for a while and you have given me the courage to try again with OD after a year-long break. This is perhaps my 3rd or 4th go at this, this time I've gone for OKCupid. In the past I've tried GSM, Match and POF.

Previous attempts at OD didn't go very well, I got a few dates but nothing came out of them.

I'm in touch with 2 guys, one who is a single dad, frustrated writer with a good line in banter, we are getting on quite well on paper (well, you see what I mean!), we've been messaging a lot. The other is a real ale buff who seems really nice although not wildly exciting, we haven't messaged so much.

Anyway I look forward to sharing my adventures in OD with you and reading about yours! :)

Welcome Skaffen

hey skaffen - real ale buffs in my experience tend to enjoy trainspotting and dungeons and dragons. Is he tending in that direction?

Tonights date was a 'meh' - from my direction at least. Part of me wants to know how she felt, purely for the ego boost/reality check. But not a goer for a second date. So. Psychotherapist on Wednesday. Attractive, childless, funny. We'll see how we go.

Oh I just saw a weird line in a profile..

"i have an amazing heart and am willing to show it to the right person"

that might give me nightmares.

Ha Bantam that is a weird line!

RealAleBuff hasn't shown any inclination towards trainspotting or D&D yet, no, but it's early days! He likes hiking though.

Thanks for the welcome Mac. I feel right at home on this thread!:)

Hello and welcome Skaffen!

Hi ladies. Well after wheelchair disaster date I was out on Friday and met the most lovely guy through a friend of a friend. We've basically spent the whole weekend together - he's just lovely and such a gentleman. So we will see where it leads - lost my enthusiasm for OD in the meantime though! Must not put all eggs in one basket repeat as mantra

Delurking to say come on people keep your chins up
I've been through nearly every emotion Ive read on here ,awful exes ,single parenthood , money worries , the online dating rollercoaster and that feeling that things are never going to change but my kids have grown up into wonderful adults (well I thinkso ) and at 50 and far from slim Im 8 months into a relationship with a lovely man I met on POF.
Theres hope for us all !

Edna that is great to hear! :)

Yay Edna!!

QT - excellent news also!

Bant - < not envy.

Lubey - know what you mean about considering not doing OD again. Far too traumatic for me at the moment cock shots burned into my retinas

I just had a message from an Italian man who looks like a psychotic Johnny Depp, covered in Prison tattoo's 'i love to tell u that u look great ,,your body drive me mad..xxx'

I should keep away..right?