Twirling body builders, dominant alpha males and been hurt in the past-Dating thread part 29

[Milkandlotsandlotsofwine]

Took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Off you go ladies and gents...

I wouldn't be offended but it would save me wondering sometimes when it was a bit borderline and I wasn't sure... I think I'd prefer it to be made clear

But if you're not sure you could always message them yourself. If its only one date and not had massive build up to it before hand I don't see a problem

hmm I guess I am still stung by the times when I've should have trusted the worst photo and found out they were a total twat and then get a text from them before I've even got home to say I'm not suitable. I've had a few less than pleasant ones, maybe because they are getting it in first so I do find this even more insulting when really there was no need to do it at all.

I agree, if you're not sure, then text yourself and then there might be the polite short and sweet 'no spark' feedback or maybe not.

I would feel about someone texting me to let me know Thanks, but no thanks, if I was already thinking the same and if the date's atmosphere has given that away already.

Should I have felt the spark and was head over heels or at least wanting a repeat, yes I would wait to hear from him and no answer would mean to me that he felt otherwise, and should I not be able to let it go, then I would contact and ask about a second date or comment on something etc. and expect no answer, or polite short 'no spark' answer or some rubbish, which then might open a whole can of worms should I fall for it.

I think men are generally quite simple. And I don't mean this in a bad way. I truly think if a man likes me then he'll find a way to keep getting in contact and try to get to know me...and I decide for myself what I want from him and go with the flow and see where it goes as long as I like it and am happy with it.

I also would be careful about interpreting too much into what a man says or promises, I am for actions speak louder than words and that over a looooongish period of time.

this is slowly (very slowly) working through my head as another rule or two for Ethical Dating - the person who makes the first contact is obliged to contact the contactee after the first date, if there is one, to either give a polite thankyou or ask for another date. The contactee can of course send a message first.

Also, you should be able to filter your inbox so you don't receive one line messages. In my profile I said I like Family Guy, and I got one message from a girl this morning saying 'Family Guy Rox!' And nothing else

Now if she was attractive and educated and could spell 'rocks' then I might be interested enough to follow up. But she's not. I do know she's one of the 3.5 million or so people that watch Family Guy regularly. Can we build a relationship on that? Probably not.

One liners are a non starter for me. Unless they're reeeally cute.

I'm actually getting kind of excited about the psychotherapist on Wednesday. Her pictures have grown on me, and she lists one of her hobbies as 'having a nice sit down' which I laughed out loud at.

I did not LOL.

Family Guy does roc though.

I can't stand Family Guy. But I agree about one liners being banned and the first contactee should respond appropriately after the date, whether it be a "fancy meeting up again?" or "sorry, no spark".

hmm I guess I am still stung by the times when I've should have trusted the worst photo and found out they were a total twat and then get a text from them before I've even got home to say I'm not suitable. I've had a few less than pleasant ones, maybe because they are getting it in first so I do find this even more insulting when really there was no need to do it at all.

oh it does seraphim - Family Guy and beer got me through many a night of being newly separated. Wow, I paint a picture of myself as a true renaissance man there, don't I?

But I wouldn't mail someone on Match saying 'I like zumba too!' and expect a response. Especially as I don't

Juliette - I agree, that's shit - but I wouldn't text someone to say they weren't 'suitable' - I'd say 'thanks, I had a great time tonight, it was lovely to meet you but I wasn't feeling the spark there - good luck with everything though' - or some more personalised version of that. That can't be offensive surely?

It's the difference between saying 'there's something wrong with you' and 'the chemistry between us wasn't right' - big difference there I think

You CAN filter one liners on POF - you can set the minimum size for a first message to 50+ characters/100+/200+.

Oh go on Bant, LOL. Just once. It's not so bad - I bet once you try it you'll like it.

llll..., lllll...L....O..., lllooooo

no. Sorry.

Yes Bant it's not too bad at all .. in fact I think POF gets undeserved bad press

Yoga I did that before - the character limit.

I got messages saying

'hi yr sexi.............................'''''''''''''''........................................................

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx'

etc etc to fill in the required spaces

Lubey Ha - hadn't thought of that!

(chicken fajitas by the way)

Sorry to hear that Juliette That is shit

How did i not know you guys were here?! I've been unsuccessfully dating on pof for too long (too stingy to pay)

Over the years I have had halitosis guy, ten years older than photo guy, camp guy (how he wasn't gay was unreal) bad date guy (had to have a friend ring me to rescue me), con man date (wanted my money, ha) and on the dole but pretending to be a millionaire guy. And then I had the summer relationship which I thought was so good till he kept dropping me for fishing and football.

But I went on a v. Good date Saturday night (drinks 6pm till one am) and then went for lunch and coffee yesterday. So far so good. But aware this could spin on a pin!!

Phew! At long last I have managed to catch up.

I was sent here by DD who was increasingly frustrated by the misery I was feeling over my OD experiences.

You have all really helped to restore my self confidence. I no longer feel abnormal or unloveable and can clearly see that I need to toughen up before dipping my toe back into the water.

So delurking to say a big thank you !!

And thank you for de lurking :)

Its always nice to hear we arent the only ones who dont have huge success with it.

Welcome aboard :)

Hi everyone,

Lots of things happening, or not as the choice may be. I am waiting to hear from my date (Action Man) last Thursday for the arrangements for this Thursday...in the meantime, well let's just say WarmFuzzy has been up to mischief of the Coffee variety .

Have decided to concentrate on the fella already in 'stable' if Action Man CBA to sort out the next date as agreed.

I am kinda of lurking because RL is a bit busy and by the time I have caught up on all the happenings I've forgotten who and what so can't post a reasoned response

Fuzzy! Was it good Coffee?

Hello all.

Date tonight cancelled as he's supporting a friend through a tough time I smell bullshit

Fuzzy - is he called Action Man because he does lots of extreme sports, or because he has no genitals?

LOL! (see - not that hard)

Hello smokinaces blimey you've been right through the ole' dating mill! I don't think there's a better thread for you to be on, tbh! Welcome and good luck with your new 'good date all ok so far' bloke.

Yoga, you sould have seen my face. I was so smug, I really thought I'd cracked getting rid of the stupid one liners or even one worders... ffs. I think I packed PoF in that night for a while :o

Hello to Wickaninnish too :o