Ginny pigs prove the options are of limited quality - Dating thread 28

[lubeybooby]

New one - chit chat all dating stuff here.

Off you go! :o

Snape - your poor DS :(

Sponge :o I knew that must be the case because you were so quiet about him no disapproval here, it's a headfuck situation and I don't blame you wanting to not totally write him off until you either have more info or he gets better/bucks his ideas up/etc etc. Just be a little wary... I know you don't particularly have any reason to doubt him but just bear in mind it could be a yarn to keep you in reserve while he's seeing someone else like the wanker bloke I was telling you about that behaved very similarly and eventually once i'd given up and just wanted to know wtf? admitted he had been seeing someone. I was floored! I completely trusted that he was having a hard time, but it was all bollocks! Equally it could be true of course but I couldn't just not tell you that it sets my 'hmmm' radar off a bit.

Mercury - wow!

"must be the saggitarian in me..."

I had a saggitarian in me once, and he was a bit crap tbh.

Secretservice good luck - and oooh @ cajun wrap and hula hoops...

Alternative said yes! And still no word from mushroom man so at least I don't feel guilty!

Get the feeling MM will stalk me thru POF though, I think him 'catching' me on there once after our first date, is at the root of his ishoos with me.

Ah well, let's see what quirks and flaws no2 has! On paper/screen he's a much better match, sadly less knicker tingling than MM if his pix are anything to go by

Mercury, blimey at that profile.

He's fallen into the trap of thinking profile text makes a difference to the knobbers. It might to someone who isn't a knobber who would actually read it, but then they aren't a knobber anyway so no need to be trying to put them off. If that makes sense

Nice one secret :o

it's always a bit worrying when profiles make astrology references..not as worrying as the suggestion of mania inherent in a novella length 'personal statement'

I think closure is nice, but I tend to think that if someone has fallen off the face of the earth then they're an idiot and it's their loss. I don't need a 'reason' because it will generally be inadequate or a pack of lies. I'm not going to argue the toss with a tosser :)

sponge I'm glad LC is still in contact though. I know you liked him and I know you're smart enough to proceed with caution. He's fine on a back-burner, just to see what transpires.

thank you all for support with DS1 - being selfish? it's the very last thing I need at the moment - but of course DS1 needs it less?I admit I've lost my rag and shouted at him at half seven in the morning when I'm on my way out. probably not very constructive, but he knows it's because I worry so. Told my boss at work I need to leave early and she's been supportive - it's a big thing for me to share family things irl, because I feel like I'm being judged and failing at parenting (much like only one person irl knows the voldie-story, I don?t talk about it with anyone else.) am referring DS1 to some (moderated) online teen depression support - most of his friends are online (I know that feeling?) so hopefully he'll feel less alone.

mercury exhausted just reading that.

oh yoga read it. really enjoying 'the passage' at the moment and 'out of oz' have you read 'the girl with glass feet?' think you'd like it. How about anything by Scarlett Thomas? has books, does not need men

pixwix - at the Sagittarian.

And oh dear that profile! What was he thinking

snape - just started Mr Norrell - is it good? (In fact it's still only the free sample, is it worth paying for the full download?)

Just got a message from someone off OKC I was chatting to weeks ago who fell off the radar - apparently he 'had stuff on' Anyway, I'm not going to bother replying right now, I'm looking forward to date no 2 with the Engineer tomorrow.

Feeling shit about work/money stuff too - off the the job centre soon, woo hoo!

snape I think that is sound reasoning re. any 'reason' he might give. Imma just leave it, I think.

I'm always advising friends to think of what they want out of a communication and consider the impact of not getting it, before they make an approach (whether it's raising an issue with a colleague, confronting a relative you're upset with, etc.) Time to practise what I preach.

Really not sure if I'm ready for all this though. Trying to turn my mind to all the books I'm not reading/boxsets I'm not watching when I'm getting sucked into lengthy e-mail exchanges of delightfulness (which then end up having a wizard-of-oz/childcatcher's wagon off of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang-like outcome)

sigh

Could feel myself lapsing into PVS by the time I got to 'cheeky chappy'.......
A latter day medallion man, perchance ?

now, come on. we all love a 'cheeky-chappie'

yoga I really enjoyed it - see how you get on with it - I see quite a few in charity shops, so you might pick one up cheaper than a download.

he was rather 'pretty boy' looking, late 20's 'ripped' muscular but delicate, and over coiffed

actually I feel a bit mean posting up his blurb like that, it wasnt exactly offensive
sorry Mr Cheeky Chappie [blush

even!

I bought Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell ages ago...still not read it, might have to make a start. read The End of Mr Y a while back, which was v good.

Lubey and snape thanks. I'm not going to dive in with LC, in essence I do believe him but retain a degree of scepticism about it all too. He is on the back burner for now, I don't know when he'll be ready to see me again probably not for a couple of weeks, BUT I'm managing not to spend all my time thinking about, or indeed worrying about him, which for me is good. We'll see what happens :)

Great sponge I think you have exactly the right attitude about it all and him then and that is indeed good

blimey, this thread moves fast doesnt it? I feel excited about meeting this date... but on Sunday I was crying because I thought the ex had met somebody, then that night I had a message from Match Man... I feel like my grieving has finished now, like a lot of others, I had no build up to the end of the marriage, just a shock out of nowhere, so the shock and grief was immense...

Ive gone from not imagining myself ever being with anybody else, to imagining myself with MM, so I think Ive moved on a bit more, lol....

Afternoon all,

Reading all the posts from people struggling with feeling about their exes & now I'm wondering if there's something in the air? I am also having one of those days where I feel as if I will never love again/ever get married/have children

Also rather depressed after logging on to OKC to find messages from both the men I've been messaging going "Why aren't you answering me, do you hate me?" (or words to that effect) simply because I had to go offline for a few days. It is the sort of needy behaviour that puts me off instantly. Do other people find it a turn off or am I being too picky?

On the plus side I have been asked on a second date next week by my manboy from last Monday. The downside is that he is insanely young & I'm starting to get depressed about my total lack of ability to find a man near my own age.

Mercury I can prove I'm generously proportioned were you not tempted to ask him to do so? so we can point and snigger

watch am keeping things crossed for you with the new place. So pleased to hear that new job is going fantastically well & woohoo for the crush/flirtation thing

snape the situation with your DS reminds me of the son of the bastard who left me to go back to his ex-wife my last serious relationship. I was incandescent with the school's attitude and general lack of care there, so feel sure you are doing the right thing in keeping him away whilst you seek other support. All the very best to you both & very un-Mumsnetty hugs.

sponge I've been keeping very quiet and hoping that you would come to the conclusion that you have with Lc. You broke your second date duck with him, so I hope you'll always have a warm feeling about that ... and you got on so well because he liked you - the real you - not some OD misconception, but the wonderful multi-layered person that is you. I hope you gain a good friend if nothing else but, even if it was to go no further, I'd have made the same choice that you have. Oh & thank you for some great advice you gave further up the thread about not talking too much about personal stuff in the early stages. I've always been of the open - this is me, like it or lump it variety - but having read your wise words, I now realise that I make it hard for myself to walk away when someone isn't suitable because I've already done the personal bonding. A really good lesson to learn and one which shows that even 5+ years into OD, no-one's an expert and we can all learn from one another's viewpoints and experiences.

Thread has been moving at a fair old rate, so will try to catch up some more in a while.