can you believe what this guy wrote on his profile, I mean it's not meant to be a dissertation:
(if you can be bothered to read it all...
)
am only interested in people on MyFunBuddy or CougarDating, if you're on one of the slut sites or cheating sites linked to this please don't waste my time (or anyone elses bar a therapist, although arguably you wouldn't be wasting their time either as at least they will be getting paid to put up with your nonsense).
I would quite like to meet someone with some dignity and self respect, if such a thing exists on here. If you get to know me you'll find I'm actually a laid back guy, ambitious and hard working, a very cheeky chappy, and down to earth. Probably doesn't come across too well on this profile due to the nature of having to try to put off 99% of the users on here in order to find the right person! The vast majority of my photos were taken this year, I think there is one from last year too, and the topless pictures were before I got back to the gym a couple of months ago so expect better results in person. I can prove I'm generously proportioned if you're worried about that before meeting however I don't want those photos up for the world to see.
I came out of a really serious relationship that was a rollercoaster of a ride 3 months ago and my head is still working things out from it all, I'm as over it as I can be by myself but I'm just left a bit numb about anything resembling a relationship, and although I want to find someone I can chat to a lot and get on well with I think I need to keep a certain distance in myself at the moment in order not to hurt anyone while I'm sorting out where I am. In other ways I like my life as it is at the moment, I work 40 hours a week, go to an evening course once a week, go to the gym 4 times a week in evenings and Sat afternoon, and am about to start another self-taught course, so I have little spare time and I'm very busy. I go out once every Saturday with a couple of close mates of mine and I like my life being like this. The one thing I miss is some close, but not too close, female company for chats and relationship-like sex basically. I don't want to change things in any other way at the moment. I'm not the type of guy to go out on the pull or sleep with someone different every week though, I'd just like one woman in a similar situation who appreciates respect and exclusivity who won't necessarily get madly attached at least not for a few more months. I think literally all I want or need is just chatting as friends during the week, meeting up on a Friday evening or Sunday afternoon (or even both sometimes) and either having a few drinks at a pub, catching a film at the cinema, or just relaxing infront of the tv on the sofa or bed at home with great conversation and a bottle of wine or whatever we care to drink before having some fun together, or if we're feeling particularly frisky just getting straight to it and living out a few fantasies for each other. I'm also interested in a few spontaneous meets where it's just for sex if we feel in the mood for that and that's what either of us needs to be able to release some frustration. I'd prefer somene regular but even if it turned out just to be a one off if that's what you eventually decide that's what you want then as long as it's with someone decent I wouldn't regret it.
I love sex and can't live without it, and do have a very naughty side to me but from past experiences it's something I want to share with very few people over the rest of my life because I prefer to be able to open up completely with someone and take my time exploring and caressing, doing all the little extra things I like to do, really building you up to the point you want to scream, but if I'm not that interested in someone I will only just want a quick fumble and then to leave and that is never satisfying afterwards. So I'm looking for some passionate sexual chemistry and basic friendship, nothing emotionally deep otherwise, but it still needs to have that "click" and genuine attraction.
Age and distance don't bother me at all. I have dated a range of ages from 17 to 49 over the last couple of years and find it really is just about how you get on with the person and whether or not they are open minded enough for it, but to be honest if you're not open minded enough then we probably wouldn't get on anyway as I am all about positivity in attitudes and perspective, and not tarnishing everyone with the same brush as past experiences. Distance wise I have travelled from Maidstone in the South East all the way up to Newcastle for love before, and all the way across to Exeter for great sex before. Even my last relationship was a 2 hour door-to-door journey to Essex and I'd do that a couple of times a week without getting bored of it - must be the Sagittarian in me.
I have been very lucky with the type of women I have been with before, but don't have a "type" at all. The most important features for me are eyes and smile, they absolutely dictate attraction to me. I'm easily attracted to women who are proportionately busty, but when I say that I mean I have been with or dated women who are anything from 34B to 28F to 36JJ, so a whole range of figures (anything from size 6-16) and don't think that because I say I like busty women it means they have to be huge and fake! I like women who look after themselves (ie nice hair is usually a good tell tell sign) but don't wear too much makeup. I don't like too many facial piercings although one or two can be cool. I don't like the tango'd look or women plastered in makeup, much more prefer a natural beauty, even if you're pale as a ghost it's still far more attractive than being fake. And I'm sorry but if you eat out at McDonalds more times a week than you exercise (ie size 18+) then I'm probably not going to be attracted to you, that is as much about mentality as it is about physique.
I would prefer to meet up for a drink or even just a quiet chat somewhere first as experience has told me that photos do not dictate chemistry at all, and quite a few people like to doctor their photos too. No expectations on the first meet up, but being open minded enough that if the chemistry was to be there in abundance then things could possibly happen.
I have a couple of fantasies I haven't done before, but you'll have to ask about those.
Whatever else you want to know, please do that old fashioned thing of asking.