Ginny pigs prove the options are of limited quality - Dating thread 28

[lubeybooby]

New one - chit chat all dating stuff here.

Off you go! :o

Ok feck it I mailed her. We seemed to have settled into this pattern of emailing each other every few days anyway, after agreeing we just lived waaaay too far away from each other for things to work, no matter how gorgeous and funny and generally amazing we both are. So I'd send her witty charming emails about my day, and she would reply, and it was nice.

Then I sent her one about Erica the Gymnastic Dentist and apparently she read it several times and thought 'screw it' and asked to meet. Because I'm witty and stunningly attractive and why not.

So, now we've met, and she was even better in person than I'd thought, but the distance thing is still there, we're both relatively fresh out of LTR so slowly.. slowly is the way to go I think. So I sent her a vaguely amusing casual email and asked her about something going on in her life.

I'm not going to sit on my hands and wait for a reply. I will not. I will not.

God, I wish I looked ten years younger! Too many wrinkles and bags for any chance of that - though someone did tell me they thought I was still in my 30s a couple of weeks ago - but she's a lot older and probably at the stage where everyone under 55 looks like a spring chicken.

WRT the "opening up" thing - well, this is something that's been on my mind for some time, not just in this relationship. I know I do put up barriers a lot, with family, friends, everyone really apart from my children and it really limits things. It is NOT good. It's something I want to do for myself and not just in this relationship but in lots of areas - just posting about the stuff with him on here with it being the dating thread, and I think that being in a new relationship has cast a clear light on how I tend to behave.

It does sound like I am having a lot of angst about this relationship, but overall I don't feel that I am. I feel calm and happy about things most of the time (apart from this bloody op stuff), I've relaxed a lot more and really enjoy spending time with him. I text him when I feel like it, he texts me when he feels like it and I don't get stressed about it. I am really surprised (in a good way) how well we get on and how great the sex is. I don't tend to post on here though about the good stuff, not sure why, but I think it would come across a bit as showing off or something, and also it's not very interesting. But yes, things are good, long may they continue

Posting from my fone means by the time I post it's about 3 pages out of date!

Going back to the point about who contacts who first, I've never thought of it as the guy's job to do so. I've done my fair share of winking/messaging first. Ended up spending a lot of yesterday evening messaging one particular gentleman who possibly has the best job ever (can't say as it's a bit random). I messaged him first. Technically have a date for friday, but you never know with these things...

kirsty you sound excited! [Grin]

I will likely be spending Xmas alone this year, ex husbands turn to have the kids. I have been invited out with family for Christmas and have friends I could go to as well but I think I will just get tipsy smashed on home made mulled wine and enjoy my own company warble along to Mudd's lonely this Christmas my fave Christmas song

I do agree though, that lots of people find Christmas a lonely time so it doesn't surprise me the dating sites are busier.

bantam it's quite enlightening to realise that men do the whole waiting for a reply and checking phone thing too :)

I am sure she'll reply. Patience even though I'm the most impatient person in the world, so more a case of do as I say, not as I do

Yoga am sure whatever happens your Xmas this year will be infinitely better than last years :)

Hi I've just come to have a moan sorry!!

I'm still thinking about the argument with mr workaholic even though we made up! But what I'm thinking about more is his low sex drive and my high sex drive!! It's driving me insane!

I even got into a slightly sexual conversation with dds dad two nights ago and I know I can't go there again! But he would do anything to please me sexually and would never say no to sex

Sorry just feeling sad about lack of sex!

Genital portraits

It was a rather odd attempt at talking dirty, he stated by talking about his model giraffe. Then it the grooming thing where they try to lure you into it by asking 'harmless' questions which then progress. I can well understand how young girls get tricked. Said he was a leg man then said he liked legs, nipples and tongues and what did I like in men. Kept on and on about it, trying to get me to say the obvious until I pulled the plug.

I always lie about my age, I can't begin to imagine the level of pull I'd get if I told the truth but know I can get away with it for now. It seems to be a common belief that women of a certain age go off sex but this is only from older men so I think it might be from their own experience

sponge Amen to that

feeling a bit blue this morning, shitty XH and doubting Mr Ex Army, even had a little peek on Match to see who was about .....

cheered up considerably reading about genital portraits hehe and model giraffe's, the mind boggles! It takes allsorts!

Hey lulu, sorry your feeling down. Shitty XH are really shitty. x

yuk! Trying to lure you into a sexual conversation to provide him with wank fodder
just makes me wanna say 'heard it all before sunshine..now fu(k off'

thanks Yoga, they are aren't they?

What I hate most is that before he lied, cheated and betrayed me and threw me across the room in front of my 12 year old daughter I was a very trusting person who always saw the best in people, full of confidence and strong. I still show all of this on the outside but inside I think it has made me a shadow of the person I was and that's the hardest thing to forgive also makes new relationships a minefield too.

Lulu - it's hard, isn't it? I'm in a similar place myself hence all the posts about this over the last day or so. I am finding it incredibly helpful to post on here just to get my thoughts straight in my own head and hope you are too. You are resilient, though, we all are, and your old self will start to come back. It may be a slow process, but we'll get there in the end. How long have you been apart? Chin up.

Bant - I don't think it matters that you've e-mailed her, in fact I think it's good. Really, just do what you feel like (so long as it's not twenty texts in twenty minutes). If she likes you, it won't put her off, and if she doesn't, it won't matter anyway. Actually, I think she'll be glad to hear from you and she was probably waiting for you to get in touch.

Moving - sounds like the sex drive issue is really bothering you. Don't have any helpful suggestions really apart from to say that, yes, it is really important and you're not being unreasonable to be having a lot of thoughts about it. Just DON'T do anything with your ex!

Yoga, its all quite recent, I first knew for sure there was something wrong in June and then it all disintegrated in a couple of weeks.

He actually moved out in August, the last time I saw him was on the 17th August when he was arrested for assaulting me, prior to that I had spent 2 months with him first denying there was someone else and telling me I was mad, paranoid and suspicious and then when I found out the truth he carried on living with me and the kids but spending his evenings and weekends with her and acting as if I should be fine with it. I was tempted to dig up the patio and bury him under it many a time.

Hardly surprising I find it difficult to trust my judgement now I'm OD, I know its quick, the idea was to just have some fun and I deliberately only met targeted men who live quite a distance away so it could never become a LTR and then of course I met someone I really liked ........ queue angst and self doubt!!

Giraffe man also sent me a pic of his model eagle. They both have names (the Giraffe and the Eagle). Unfortunately I let my usual format of not giving my number slip and he has my mobile phone number, so it is entirely possible I will get a cock pic later.

Laxi Giraffe, Eagle, Cock, sounds like a natural progression?!

Ugh I always hated those bits of a conversation where they try and lead it into a email/text wank territory. It's always so bloody obvious!

I actually love all that but only when I'm in a relationship with someone, I know them and their body and likes and what I'm actually talking about and they know me! It can be really exciting then. But not before.

Moving it really is bothering you a lot so i think you need to address the problem and talk to your chap. I know you wanted to try but it's not working is it? it's just driving you mad

Fate things sound lovely with NL :o on a completely seperate not though, do what you can now to preserve your youthful look! I was doing well for a smoker and mistaken for younger etc etc exactly the same til I hit 30 and then everything started crinkling and crepeing and greying and being generally VERY displeasing. If I could go back I'd stop sunbathing and wear factor 30 on my face in all weather, wear night cream and pack up the fags. It's too late for me... but save yoursellllffff!

There seems to be a lot of idiot ex's around, don't even get me started on mine!

Bantam, patience is a virtue and all that!

I'm either extremely fussy or there are no decent single men in my area who are willing to go out with someone with kids. History teacher keeps texting me but there just isn't a spark and I don't want to settle for anything. Big sigh!

lulu sounds very similar to what happened to me, only I didn't have the assualt to cope with as well. I started to think something wasn't right last November, by December i knew for sure and by Jan he was out but in the mean time accused me of being paranoid, unsupportive, suspicious, nagging, etc etc. (it's just a script, they all say the same and then are mortified when they realise what a laughable cliche they are). I'm a good few months further down the line and it does get better. Look at it this way - trusting your own judgement is exactly what you should be doing. You knew something wasn't right despite his denials and your lack of proof. You tried to ignore what your gut was telling you because you wanted to trust him - but actually your judgement was spot on. Don't forget that.

I was the same yoga my gut feeling was bang on

Just have to learn not to ignore it :-) x

oh ffs I've outed myself from what was to be my other mn name.

As you were.

Oh look Juliette is back

Exactly Kirsty

western I'm not going to do anything with the ex. But honestly feel that no one else will be able to do the same for me as he did!

lubey yes it is actually driving me mad already!! I am going to have to talk to him about it!!