Ginny pigs prove the options are of limited quality - Dating thread 28

[lubeybooby]

New one - chit chat all dating stuff here.

Off you go! :o

Watcch catchment area and underfloor heating? Everything crossed for you here including legs but that's not much of a sacrifice right now

Thanks all for the advice, sound as always! I am going to spend a little time tomorrow planning what I might say.

Those of you that do the same thing - Nicholas, Fate - has it caused you problems with your relationships at all, or do people tend to understand or not mind?

So I'm really thinking of replying to the apology mail I got last night from Amazing Disappearing Girl - something like.

Hi ADG,

I really wasn't expecting to hear back from you. Understood about the ex and your current situation. I hope you get yourself sorted out in future so you can enjoy the wonderful company of people like me :)

and apology accepted. It is a bit of a shitty thing to do to someone though

Bant

Just so I don't appear to be all huffy and sulky, which to be honest I kind of am. And so I get to stick the knife in just a tiny little bit.

thoughts?

bantam I'd leave out the last line - the rest of the message sticks the knife in because you're being nice but making it clear you won't be seeing her again...

watch oooh ok that sounds very good!

lulu I don't know...this is a difficult one for me to answer because XH was a lot like that so I'm answering from a very, very personal point of view. For years I convinced myself I could live without the emotional support because we were good at other stuff. It was my "compromise" for being with someone who was smart and reliable and sexy and treated me to lovely holidays and made me laugh. But it meant I could never turn to him with a problem (unless I wanted it solved - he was good at problem solving, shit at being a shoulder to cry on) and he would never EVER open up to me about what was eating him. It's only now, in hindsight, I can see how much I really needed that and missed out on all these years - how lonely I actually was with him. But I don't know you or your Ex Army Man. He may be nothing like my XH - he may actually worship the ground you walk on and just not know how to express that. The best advice I can offer is, if it's bothering you - pay some attention to it.

watch good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck !!!!

Date with the extremely fit and lovely MrAuditor tomorrow .. He messaged me today to check that I was still up for it and to say that he was looking forward to meeting me!! God I hope his photos are recent .. !! Phoarrr :)

Bantam sounds good to me. Although I would question whether given how long it took her to respond to you, and the manner in which she did so, whether such a response won't just go straight over the top of her head? :)

Meanwhile, what would you do about this?

A few weeks ago I went on a decidedly average coffee date. Nice enough bloke, bit dull and I could not have fancied him less. Anyway, after about 50 mins in his company (he left in a rush saying his money had run out on the meter...) he text me to say oh hope we can do it again. He caught me on the hop, and I stupidly replied and said OK and that I'd get back to him. He said Fine, let me know when you're free.

I meant to text him again, and say on reflection nice time but no spark, but due to meeting LC I completely forgot, and then assumed he had too.

After not hearing from him for 2 weeks he text me on Saturday saying 'great its the weekend', yesterday saying 'helllooooooo' and today saying 'oi' . I'd deleted hos number so I've only just worked out who it is. Should I just ignore him now (frankly the oi was just rude!) or respond?...

Bantam don't do it, or if you do send it, don't keep the end paragraph.

Sponge ignore him. Seriously, he sounds bloody annoying.

Hello all

sponge tell him you met someone else in the meantime, sorry

bloke with no face pic offered to e-mail me one, he sends me a pic of him in sunglasses...might as well wear a mask!
his profile says he is 38 but his e-mail address is [email protected]
fallen at the first hurdle

He was annoying enough in person...something about only putting an hours worth of money in the meter irritated me slightly (but that might just be me!)

Mac have you sorted out when/where you're going for dinner yet?

Mac - the end paragraph being the 'apology accepted. and the 'shitty thing' or just the 'shitty thing'?

Mercury7 . . . delurking to say that my email address ends in a random date; nothing to do with my date of birth. 3 dates in with my now lovely dp he gently/jokingly questioned whether I was 40 odd and looking good for my age . . . I had to point out I was distinctly average looking for my age but with a random email address.

Ask for one without sunglasses?

sponge either don't reply or just say what bantam said

bantam I would just reply with "Thanks" or "Ok" - Not overtly rude but curt enough to imply you're not impressed

Kirsty what are plans for tom?

Thinky you could be right, but I suspect judging from the pic that he is 48 not 38
I dont think I can be arsed to reply, I have a clear face pic in my profile and I'm honest about my age, I dont want to chat with someone who can see me but conceals his own face and knocks off a decade!

I just saw possibly the best profile headline I've ever seen on Match (just while keeping up with current events, you know, not actually mailing anyone)

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese"....

Now that I've got your attention...

Loved it.

"Apology accepted. It was a bit of a shitty thing to do to someone"

It implies you're affected by her being a total Tito disappearing act. And you're not. You're faaar too busy dating other people to have even given her a thought.

Do what Yoga said.

Sponge no confirmed date just yet.

bant the first bit is to you.

Tito? tit.

Bantam I would ignore or send with the last line about apologies etc you do not actually accept her apology...

or put "Good luck with that" ambiguous and pa

Sponge ignore, not even worth the headspace

Kirsty Is this the Mr Auditor who had the list? 'm keen to know how you get on with him as I would have been put of by the list but am thinking maybe I dismiss too many possibilities.

Titto is what I call my ex, El Titto for Sundays

Quite appropriate then western

Bantam, I think you should either ignore the message or send the reply without the last bit. Personally I think she was trying to do the right thing by contacting you - she didn't need to - and if you put the 'shitty' bit in, it's almost like punishing her for getting in touch again and explaining the situation. Yes, I know she should have got in touch a long time ago, but ... well, that's my take on it anyway.

Bant, everyone is right, the grown up thing to do is send the friendly part, but if it will make you feel better, and you never expect to see her again, I see no harm in being a teensy bit childish.

Voice, welcome. I have a similar but different issue with the children thing, being 42 and not having them, but not through my choice. I'd love them, but am realistic about it. I would actually consider dating a guy who couldn't, because he might understand how I feel about it, whereas I now avoid profiles of men who say they don't want them. I'm not sure how much everyone even reads that part though, I've been asked on dates by men who say they didn't notice it, when I've pointed out that they don't want children and I do. And one man, who I pointed it out to, said that he'd put that he didn't want them because he wasn't looking specifically to have more, but wasn't averse to the idea if he met someone who did want them. You really can't win.

Sorry to hear so many people are feeling a bit lacklustre today. I was a bit like that this morning, mainly brought on by the fact that the above makes me practically undatable. Let's hope tomorrow brings brighter moods.

Ok, the shorter version of a response sent to ADG. No knife twisting. She works at a place I may take the kids to at some point, so might as well avoid potential awkwardness.

And the Venezuelan just mailed to ask when I want to go for that coffee. And SurreyGirl isn't responding to my text.

Ho hum. Onwards, upwards, where's that bottle of wine.

faster and Voice take heart, I had someone ask if I was pregnant from my profile pic a few months ago . That went well. It's the fabric on the dress, honest...