Husband tracking

[Stopthepidgeon]

Just tought of a novel way of checking up on my DH - want to run it by you all for possible pitfalls.

Use my iPhone touch - register it on my track my iPhone app and leave it his car? I can track its whereabouts from my iPhone.

Yes - I know, I know, if there's no trust then bail out. We are in the aftermath of my discovering his affair - we are talking things through and he tells me it's over with ow. It's just early days for me.

Just to add, I don't want a moral debate on here as to why I want to track him.

Just want to know if this is a realistic way of doing it.

Thanks in advance.

I don't say things I don't mean. You are not qualified to give authoritative advice on this wobbly and it is especially bad to discredit other posters like that.

If you want to give advice based on your personal circumstances wobbly then explain what they are and why they lead you to think your view is superior don't try and unreasonably discredit other posters based on, frankly, what turned out to be total crap; we have been cheated on.

Hi, I'm OP.

No Im not going to bother with the iPod tracking idea - I don't need to, if he strays again I know that I will just know if that makes any sense?

To be honest it was really just a half idle idea - I don't have the time energy or inclination to do that or put my heart through that either.

What will be, will simply be, in terms of our marriage.

Im going to pour my energies into improving myself - personally and educationally - simply just become me again. He's welcome to come along for the ride (and I'd really love it if he wants to) - he merely has to acquire his golden ticket honestly and without deceit.

If he hasn't got that ticket then he's off the bus, no second chances.

As a mother I hold my child's heart and soul in my hands - I will protect nurture encourage teach and love love love - Above all protect. Something OW would never understand ......

We are on a journey ......

Stop, that's made me well up! Dignity and strength. Hope he realises he's damn lucky...

OP good to hear from you - best of luck and I hope things work out ok for you.

Great post OP

Well said OP. I salute you.

Agree, really well said op.

Thank you everyone on this post for helping me get to here - my head is firmly screwed on and facing the right direction. Deep breath and best foot forward!

PTP - for what it's worth I DO actually "give a shit" - please take gentle steps ....... I wish you peace and happiness. We ALL deserve that, whatever our individual circumstances are.

Xxx

What is the matter with you, Offred? Do you believe that ALL MEN stop affairs when they say they have? What an outrageous thing, for me to say that women have the right to check up! You - for some reason known only to yourself - have taken great exception to my stance and decided it is hugely disturbed, which is:

Im going to pour my energies into improving myself - personally and educationally - simply just become me again. He's welcome to come along for the ride (and I'd really love it if he wants to) - he merely has to acquire his golden ticket honestly and without deceit.

yet here you are, praising pidgeon for doing the same thing.

Good for you OP and good luck for the future.

No, wobbly I don't. I just believe trying to desperately cling onto someone who treats you hatefully is humiliating and degrading. That snooping doesn't stop someone cheating or help you find out if they are.

I have taken exception to you telling people you are an authority on sorting out your life after infidelity and anyone who says you shouldn't invade the cheater's privacy by stalking them has clearly never been cheated on and therefore doesn't know what they are talking about. It isn't true and it's a nasty tactic and you are not happy in your relationship, I haven't made that up, it isn't ok to advise people to do what you've done and discredit opposite advice when you are so unhappy. Honesty I wish you were happy, but you aren't are you?

Point, your situation is one of the saddest I have ever read on MN. Really. I can only think of one other that stood out so starkly to me, and funnily enough, that involved a lady who was married to a minister.

Sorry, don't want to minimise others, or make it into a competition, but you just sound so desperately defeated and resigned to the whole situation. You are not being treated as a person, but as an object, or possession. I find it hard to believe that any religion would want to see someone treated like that. Your H's behaviour does not say 'love and cherish' it says 'ownership and control'. What seems most sad is that you seem to be so ground down, that you are the one who is trying to find any excuse to maintain the status quo, you have become your own jailer. I sincerely hope that one day you will find the courage to stand up to your H. You are going through a death of a thousand cuts.

OP I know you don't want a moral lecture. So I won't (although I do think there is a difference between snooping to catch a philandering spouse, and living this tortuous existence of mistrust and suspicion - sorry, will sit on hands). If it's any use, my Garmin satnav shows where I have been. Me and DH laugh because when we look at it, it shows a footprint between home, work, school, and sometimes (excitement) Sainsburys. It needs to be plugged in to the car to operate, so if you have a power socket in the boot, you could put it there.

Stopthepidgeon - great to hear the determination coming through in your last post. I wish you all the best.

pointtopoint - I hope you are ok. Your silence is worrying, given the seriousness of your situation.

I bought a ninja tracker when I suspected my husband of infidelity. It is a small, well priced, easy to use product which you place wherever (I put it in his car boot) and then you log in to your interface (which I accessed via my iphone) It done the job and needless to say I am now happily single! Good luck