dh punched me tonight now he's left threatning to kill himself

[pdz2012]

I cannot belief I am writing this but after being with dh for 12 years tonight we came in he was really drunk and awful to me all night and started freaking out at me and then started punching me and putting his hands around my throat.
He has never done anything like that before although we have been struggling with our relationship for years.
I told him to go to the other room to sleep (we live overseas BTW hense time difference)
He go up to go he had a knife in his hands hidden.
I started to have massive panic attack when I saw it as we have 2 children.
I begged him to put knife down and leave the house.
He has done but is threatening to kill himself.
I can't beleive this has happened.
He has nowhere to go but what do i do.
he is also really drunk

The consulate is your safest spot tonight. You can get a cab to the airport from there in the morning. I'm hoping your hubby is passed out.

If you can't escape tonight then make it an absolute priority to get hold of your passports and put them somewhere he can't find them. Email the consulate so at least they know you are at risk.

Then tomorrow leave to do some "shopping" or to take the kids to school and do not return - go straight to the airport and your parents.

Facing a chorus of "I told you so's" & embarrassment from family is by far the preferable option to the alternatives your children may face in their immediate futures if you delay.

(btw I'm not normally one of those who jumps on the "leave him" bandwagon - your children just need to be somewhere safe while you resolve something this serious)

Never have I seen such agreement from posters on MN. I know nothing about the ME but I do know that in times of crisis I trust the voice of MNers - and if everyone is saying same thing chances are they are right.

Is the OP still here?

OP are you there? Are you OK?

Is there any way you could check in to a hotel for a day or two? Gather your thoughts and relax away from either your own circumstances or the pressure of making any life changing decisions

oh god, how horrible for you - i pray that you are all OK. Is there anywhere you can take the children tonight?

OP am thinking of you.

update when you can OP.....am a little worried about you.

Even if you do go, there's nothing to say you can't come back. You can spin a story about a health emergency re your parents if necessary. But tonight you need to take care of tonight and sort out the fallout later, whichever way it pans out.

OP hope you're ok - would love an update so we know you're safe.

I would assume you're reasonably close to me from the time difference. If you need anything PM me, ill send you my number and please give me a call.

Have you got all passports or do his (I'm making the wild assumption that you're all on his visa) company hold them?

Whether you decide to leave or not please let the embassy know you're in a domestic violence situation. The scary thing about here is It can be weeks or months without hearing from people or talking to loved ones back home so somebody needs to know who you are, where you are and what your situation is.

OP. A bit worried as you've not posted since last night. Hope it's because you're on a flight to somewhere safe.

Hello op, am also worried anout you. Great idea about spinning a health emergency problem.

Bumping. OP I hope you & your children are safe.

If you dont have anyone to run to in ME then get the hell out of the country. Go to your parents/siblings or get to the UK and between us all who live here we can help you.

What he has done is NOT ok.

I hope you and your DC are safe.

OP are you OK ?

OP it's now 3pm. I know with everything going on coming on here might be the last thing on your mind. I'm Pming you my number now, please get in touch on here or drop me a text even

OP you ok??

Please contact Bertrude as she could be quite close to where you are.

I'm hoping it's gone quiet because you're on a plane!

OP it must be so terrifying for you but you must do what you can to get yourself and your children away.

In the ME he owns both you and them, you will not get any help.

hoping all is well and you have taken this advice :(

You need to do what everyone is telling you to do - get the hell out of there, take the kids & go. Worry about everything else later. You have no rights there - none :(

I don't get it. If i had been with someone for 12 years and they had never done anything like this before then attacked me i'd be really worried about them. Could he have had his drink spiked? Sudden breakdown? Or has he actually been a nasty bastard for 12 years?
Could you stay with a friend, so he can't find you and then organise going to your family in europe?

I hope the OP isn't posting because she's in the air.

OP - if not, you need him out of hte house for a while at least, his 'good friends' should be prepared to put him up, if they won't have an unstable violent man in the house, then neither should you, that's what hotels are for.

I hope you've left. Frankly, I wouldn't bother about booking online flights, I'd just go to the airport and book flights to Europe at the desk. Get as much cash out of the ATM at the airport just before you leave.

I was in a relationship with a man my parents hated, and had to face the "told you so's" afterwards. A bit squirmy, but not the most unbearable thing ever.

I'd suggest camping out with your parents while you decide what to do next. Get to safety, and the rest can be dealt with in time.

I have only read the OP but as someone who used to work with people with mental health issues you need to get your DP help! You've been together for 12 years and nothing like this has happened before?
Something horrible has clearly happened here to your DP! get him help, don't just run away! to many on here are to quick to say "Leave him" "Get out of there asap" etc your DP has clearly had something happen for this to occur and you need to get him help!

Don't be daft voice, her priority right now is to protect her children and herself from a dangerous, and right now an unpredictable individual. She can still help him if he needs or wants it if that's the way it pans out .

But like they say on planes, which is where I hope op is now, attend to your own mask first