dh punched me tonight now he's left threatning to kill himself

[pdz2012]

I cannot belief I am writing this but after being with dh for 12 years tonight we came in he was really drunk and awful to me all night and started freaking out at me and then started punching me and putting his hands around my throat.
He has never done anything like that before although we have been struggling with our relationship for years.
I told him to go to the other room to sleep (we live overseas BTW hense time difference)
He go up to go he had a knife in his hands hidden.
I started to have massive panic attack when I saw it as we have 2 children.
I begged him to put knife down and leave the house.
He has done but is threatening to kill himself.
I can't beleive this has happened.
He has nowhere to go but what do i do.
he is also really drunk

Excellent reply from bocshead there. Follow her advice!
I hope everything works out!

my family are not in the UK they are all over the place - wouldn't even know where to go in the UK???
I really feel in shock I feel like i am having a heart attack actualy

Is your husband British? You need to get to the UK and away from him ASAP.

Where are your family?

There must be someone you can go to even if not in the UK? Brother, parents, sister?

do you have no family in the UK?

if not it doesnt matter. Are the children on british passports? do you have access to the passports?

if you do, while you do, get home. worry about the other stuff later. the most important thing is staying safe.

you must leave. Do not let him back in tonight, no matter what.

are you safe right now OP? are the children safe right now?
where is your DH now?

Which countries are they in? Can you call your parents or siblings? and get a flight to one of them?

Do you have a close female friend where you are who could come round and be with you whilst you get things sorted?

Who is your safest, kindest, most "together" relative or best friend? Go to them.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, your family are all over the place? Pick one, find a flight, we can help you look for one if you want. Agree tell noone of your plans except the person you are going to.

Things will be ok, but you need to get to somewhere safe.

No family in UK - all over the place parents in europe in a tiny flat. I do have friends here but god the fucking emabarrassment.
He has actually come back ranted at me that at least igot what I always wanted and that I can blame everything on him and get away scot free (why wouldnt I? I haven't done anything?)
he has gone to spare room I assume passed out.
Why would he do that to me for nothing?
How could he?
What now OMG my children and my life this is just horrendous

OP where are your family? Are they in the EU?

FOLLOW BOCHEAD'S INSTRUCTIONS.

Get a flight and get out of there. You cannot keep yourself and your children protected from him there.

You are British you say? Phone your embassy. GO to your embassy tomorrow if you need to and secure their help in getting you out. Is he British too?

Is there anyone around you who is "safe"? Is your husband British also?

Call your embassy, and please get as far away as you can.

OP...are you safe right now?

what time is it there right now?
we can help you but you must cover your tracks - dont leave any trace of this on the pc or laptop.

do you have a credit card?
you really must leave darling, you re in a very vulnerable situation as it stands.

Never mind the embarassment, your safety is more of crucial point right now.

I feel really really embarrased as well i couldn't tell my family plus they hate him anyway - I can't believe this
Honestly i am a normal and a nice girl i sound like a nutter living a nutters life

You let him back in!?!! When you said you'd been struggling with your relationship for years what has that looked like? He sounds like a very resentful, angry & bitter man. You've got to take from this that the marriage is over and you need to get out as quickly as possible.

Any friends of yours would want you to be safe; there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Please pack a bag and your passports and take the children to one of your friend's houses. You really need to get out of there

Get online and get flights booked. Now!

Tomorrow say NOTHING of your plans. Go to your embassy with your passport/documents.

There MUST be someone in your family/friends that you can fly to. Even if your parents' flat is too small, they can help you with a hotel until you sort yourself.

its midnight here on the equivalet of a saturday night at home (ie weekend)

he is british as well

thanks for all your messages sorry feel unable to be clear

Your family don't hate him for no reason I assume? Forget embarrassment, forget everything but keeping you and your children safe.

Vicar is right, delete all Internet browsing history etc

Deal with the "I told you so's" another night, if that's what you're worrying about. That really is the least of your concerns right now. Very concerned for you and your children.

Ok, you can do all your worrying/embarrassing/stressing/mourning on the plane once you are on your way out of there.

You MUST leave there if you want to keep your children. PLEASE listen. Can you book those flights now? Do you have enough on your cards?

*safe I mean! Keep them safe!