The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

Can you ask a neighbour to use their oven and do the rest on the hob? Offer to pay towards their gas/elec? Even do the roast early and let it rest whilst doing the veg etc?

We had no frickin oven last year, I TOLD the spark that I needed power to light the oven (safety feature ) and I was spitting nails by the time he's finally connected us.

Luckily, we managed to have turkey with all the trimmings by 8pm...... so not too bad then?!

Bleeding has stopped, he's playing again and I've checked his stomach contents, nothing to worry about for now.

Thank you all, I promise to tell him all about his surrogate Brave Babe Aunts when he's a bit bigger xx

Mouse, hope Nemo is okay - thinking of you. Thank you babes for your responses.

Shit day here - three months work down the drain lost two deals worth a few thousand (enough to pay off overdraft and credit card :( ) and keep the wolf from the door for a couple of months, have upset two of my business partners (something I'm really so angry about) have sinusitus and burning mouth syndrome making my face hurt - I am at my desk in tears - can see no income coming in and I have been working really hard (for nothing) - I have to go to DS nursery now for a meeting then home to tell DH the great news -I want to curl up in a ball and sob my eyes out. BIG test for me tonight to stay clear of the fridge and the fuck it voice! Fucking shite day :( Sorry babes for me me me post....

Thank you Kotinka, I am absolutely gutted and scared - what a difference a day makes... I would usually crack open a bottle as soon as I got in, in these circumstances but that is pretty self defeating, it won't make it better and it will make me feel more ill - ideas please to cheer myself up!!! (that don't involve spending money!!)

Greeny - I'm so very sorry about the contracts, DH is self employed so I know how tough it can be when things fall through, especially at this time of year.

You know drinking will only make things worse in the longer term, no matter how much the thought of the wine numbing the pain is so super appealing to you right now........ at the end of the day, drinking tonight in 'fuck it' mode is your call and not one of us can stop you from opening that bottle if that's what you want.

Reading your post, makes me think that you don't really want to let someone else down but is it YOU or us? Does that make sense?

You know you have wine in the fridge already so that's one hurdle overcome, if you want to drink it's already there for you to start.......

What's the earliest time you could have a glass? Let's work back from there......

Cheering up - warm bath with candles and nice music? Pain killers sound in order for you too, Panadol Night Pain tablets are awesome and will help make you a tad drowsy.

You sound utterly fucked off. How about a story and a massive snuggle with DS? A DVD with DH later, or catching up with pre-recorded stuff?

Mouse I'm not sure I can answer your question I don't want to let the babes down but I also don't want to let myself down - I do post on here to try and have some sort of accountability as I am very poor with self regulation - having someone else to "let down" is actually helpful for me. Earliest I could have a glass is 6pm, that's unlikely as I will busy with little one tea etc - 7pm major danger zone - I'm going to try something different I'm going to have a good cry something I barely ever do - I might even lay in my bed and cuddle a teddy whilst I am doing it! Things will seem better tomorrow, I am just bitterly disappointed today - thank you for caring mouse, it is utterly trivial compared to the stuff you have dealt with this week and that does help me to know I don't need a drink to cope with it. I just need to face it and not hide in a bottle

Hugs to all and positive vibes for ovens, contracts Nemo and everything else the BBs hold dear.
How are you Tristessa. We need to find you a new name- I morphed from helpmenow, my name for my first nc post à la JWN to this about a year ago. Trustessa sounds a bit 70s sit com (wtf is a surgical truss anyway?) but you'd be abbreviated to Trust; I get a lovely glow whenever I'm name checked as help, whadyathink?
I got to my first meeting in eons today and wasn't sure what I'd share. In the end it was easy. The chair said that when he relapsed he'd been encouraged to think about what he'd been doing a month before, a week before, the day itself.
I was
If I'd drunk last night (although I didn't even consider it consciously )and looked at my behaviour the last few weeks I'd have had to admit all the signs were there. I've been bored, wallowing in my tooth pain, picking fights (AIBU), lots of triggers anniversary wise, stressed (stuck in New York and then insurance claim), new job vetting etc.
So I'm going to advise myself to monitor HALT and get to a meeting again tomorrow.

Hi greeneyed have a hug from me. A cry might be just what you need and teddies are wonderful listeners

I'm pleased I'm on day 3 and don't want a drink. The weekend will be harder for me than weekdays. But today it's okay :) even though I'm tired.

Big hugs to all the BBs, I will check in later after I've done some of this essay.

Dearest Green, wish I could sit with you and listen to your worries over a pizza and a diet Coke tonight, you could even cry on my shoulder - but I can't be there so you are going to have to be as kind to yourself as possible. Your bad time is as valid as anyone else's - it's all subjective - don't think it's less important - just different. Letting yourself have a good cry sounds like a good idea to me - especially with a cuddly teddy. Take care, Green, just try to get through today and we will all hope that tomorrow is brighter for you. x

Hi Mouse Glad to hear the bleeding has stopped. Does Nemo seem more settled? Are you getting much sleep now? x

Help you are brave and clever, that ex of yours won't outsmart you x. Reading my posts this evening back has been a bit of a revelation I haven't really thought of drinking as hiding before but that's what it is. Hiding from horrible feelings, situations, responsibilities, it's cowardly and childlike and only makes those things go away temporarily. I wonder why I'm such a baby - everyone thinks I am a tower of strength on the outside, laughable really - sorry for rambles right I'm going to shake myslef out now and get on with it, enough self pity from me!

Thank you purple x

Greeny - how are you holding up sweets? Listen to Purple, she talks sense xx

Fucking Santa has just knocked on my door. I shit thee not. "HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" At the top of his voice, just as Nemo has gone to sleep.

I felt like saying that they should think about coming a little earlier, rather than when most little ones will be in bed, tut tut, shame on them etc but do you know what? He's here. Nemo is still here and I actually am still getting used to the idea that we got to bring him home so soon after past experiences.

I emptied my change into the bucket as Santa said to me, "Do you have a little one who I can give a present to?" I explained the situation and he said "ah, yes, the little chap with the tube"

He remembered him from last year!! There are good people out there you know...... even when you want to scream FUCK OFF FFS, there are those who make you stop and remind you...............

Anywho, Purple - I am getting a bit more sleep although have just had to deal with the mother of meltdowns because he is sooooooooooooo tired and needed a bath as DH is away for the next few nights so I needed a hand.

He had stories and then fell asleep. He'll be up and down all night again but DD is here and I have lost of local help if I need it. Sleep is something I'll get once DH's work slows a bit and Nemo lets go of my a little.

His nurse said that he is suffering from PTSD for sure, she has seen him before and he was displaying classic signs again..... she's not happy that recovery didn't listen to my advice to get me before waking him fully but hey ho. Onwards and upwards

Oh, and Morrisons do English Apple & Red Berry softly sparkling, with a crisp apple bite drink.

IT IS LUSHNESS!! Really nice. I've got it in a tall glass, with ice and a straw. Tastes yummy but it's not diet so watch your teeth! Mind you, all those years of not watching our teeth whilst guzzling the wine................

Hey mouse hope you like the CD.
green sorry you has such a shit day. Hope tomorrow is better.
DH being a twat so am ignoring him

Ma - not had chance yet to listen, Nemo is bleeding a little again so I'm now hunkered down in the bedroom for the night....... I've had no food yet. Thank FUCK DH is still here as DD has her headphones in and the only way to contact her would be to FB her, Tweet her or throw something out into the corridor!

Re your DH being a twat, nowt new there.... I think that we need some sort of grading system. Say, Twat for his normal twatness, Uber Twat for when he's really on one and DEFCON 1 Twat for when he goes above and beyond the realms of Twattishness.

Thoughts?

I'm off to do the new thread so that it's done before I get trapped in a sea of teddies and blood stained mucus. Poor little mite.

My dh can be a miserable grumpy old man. Ouch. I had a psychiatrist who told me about plankers, ie: 2 short planks is not enough. I still like the term (smile). There are ways of cooking without an oven if you have a tiny bit of outdoor space. It's basically slow cooking. I can't remember how you do it, but I'm sure there is information out there. I am told is cooks fish and meat deliciously. So... another day. As I was walking for the bus, I would usually have popped into the supermarket for a bottle of wine. Today, I thought, na, can't be bothered. I don't miss wine at all when I'm alone, and it's the first time I haven't bothered to drink at home with dh. I do wonder if I will feel any different. At the moment I feel exactly the same as I always do, except that I keep forgetting to take my tablets (usually quite early in case I forget in a vaguely drunken state). Hope Nemo gets better soon.

at mouse's twat scale. Just normal twat tonight. Hope memo settles soon.

nemo even.

Hi babes, green I'm so sorry things have been so disappointing for you and hope something good comes your way, stay strong and stay with us, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up with all today's posts but just to let you all know I'm sober and have had my most productive days I can remember, cleaned sitting room, had a lovely bath with candles, got dd to bed (with super long story) made lentil soup and big pot of goulash..... And breathe, thank you all for helping me to here and bring on day 3 x x x

DH is taking a turn, I can't bear the pain anymore so have come to dose up.

Maltesers and soup have done the trick!

NEW THREAD HERE just in case I can't get it done and it's needed over night.

Big hugs to those who need them tonight, Greeny - I have a feeling that maybe you are struggling and I want to give you a massively big HUG! xx

Ma - glad you like it! Make sure you use it, but as I said before, under your breath, muttered is always best.

You know, so he does the whole 'What did you say?' thing and you can quietly say back 'There's a programme about Def cons on BBC one who keep bats' - aka DEFCON 1 TWAT !!

New Babes - just to say that the new thread link is used when this one is full..... so we don't leave anyone behind. So for now, we're here if that's okay?

I'll keep posting the link to the new one and venus will too as we get nearer the end of this one......

Now I need to go and relive DH.

Be back tomorrow at some point.

Thank you so much for all of your continued support and love for Nemo, it means so so much, you'll never know just how much.

Night xx

More hugs to you and Nemo, Mouse. Sleep well xxx

PS Still sober.