The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

Just off out so only a quick thought - When I was where you are and looking at the state of me/the house/the laundry etc I found it helpful to treat myself as if I was trying to recover from the 'flu or something similar. Those things will wait, they aren't important just now and you mustn't beat yourself up about them - you are recovering. Give yourself some time - it will all come together. Keep on looking at the positive angle and look forward to a brighter future - because it's there, waiting for you. x

I haven't caught up yet, but was thinking this morning, and just want to get this down before I forget.

Ramble Alert

This is for me to get off my chest really, but hopefully will ring a bell with anyone wondering whether to start, because when you haven't begun, it seems almost impossible to stop because you can't imagine anything else.

I read the very first thread because for some reason I can't remember it was bumped to 'active convos' last week (week before?), and then I came to this one. Thing is, although I wanted to join, the posts lost me when they started going on about the benefits of having stopped, because I didn't believe it would happen for me. What was the point of reading about being happier, more confident, clearer skin, weight loss, optimism? That was unimaginable, not relevant, you may as well have said I'd win the lottery on Saturday, be going for dinner with George Clooney on Sunday, and sorting through my diamonds at Van Cleef on Monday. Yeah, yeah. Right. Happier, eh? Bollocks. This is me - miserable, alky fag-ash Lil.

And yet, and yet... posters kept saying an hour at a time, a day at a time. Don't worry about what will or won't happen, just don't do it Right Now. And so I stopped doing it Right Now, over and over and over and over. And it seems to be working. I'm only on 8 days, and yet I see what posters are talking about. It is imaginable. I can do it. So you don't have to know you'll succeed in advance - you don't have to believe you can do it in advance, you just have to not have a drink today and it will happen anyway!

Today's Upside: prompted by something I read a while ago, I looked closely at my tongue last week. Revolting. Like something slimy unearthed from the bottom of the bin, and the colour... yellow and green and furry [sick emoticon]. I looked today (bravely, through one half-closed eye) and it's pink! I have a little puppy pink and healthy tongue! [gambles gleefully in small circles].

ah thank you, all... no, no wine in house at all! won't need to go out again after school run. have eldeflower and sparklng water in...lovely to have some company! always get really scared of not being able to sleep if not bzing!

baby, saw your comment re crepey skin... wine makes mine SO very dry, and tired and flushed

kiki and baby I totally understand what you say when you talk about hoping to be able to drink moderately, and have just a glass (or two) of wine. However I also know that for me (ME - and it may not be the same with you), once I really got honest with myself I could see that I never, ever really understood the 'just one glass' mentality. For me 'just one glass' was what I had if I had to drive, until I could get home and complete the desire that had been ignited. Or it was what I had on a rare 'day off' (to prove to myself that i wasn't really an alcoholic).

In reality, it is so, so much easier for me now to have nothing. I enjoy food, company, social occasions, parties, weddings, sitting in front of the TV, all with nothing to drink (and I do really mean ENJOY).

I'm not trying to knock your plans or ambitions, and some people do get to that place, but if I were to offer advice it would be to put that idea aside for the moment, spend this time getting to know and understand how you respond to 'no alcohol' and then later (much, much later) see how you can gently relax the boundaries.

Finally caught up! Lots of lovely and inspiring chat this weekend ladies

Stayed away as have not even been trying and in fact have sunk loads over the weekend :( I'm in self destruct mode with a good dose of fuck it thrown in - in for a penny in for a pound mode - I am stuffing myself with crap food, drinking and smoking again!! AAArgh

For me it's not a physical addition, it's habit and a ridiculous rebellion (against myself!) same old cycle, make myself promises in the morning plan to break them by the afternoon then think well if I'm going to be bad I'll be really bad etc - Tireness, anxiety, boredom, sense of entitlement, I think I have some insight - so WHY do I let it go on and on - it's truly dull. I read something this weekend about letting go of things which are no longer helpful to you, I need to value myself more and do that - I'm truly inspire and humbled by the efforts you are all making and the struggles you face, I'm getting back on board today and hope I can make more than a day - well done brave babes xx

kotinka I'm such a fan of vitamin B for sorting out glossy hair, better skin, better sex life and much, much improved mental health, and here is a post that I wrote a couple of years ago:

"Alcohol depletes stores of vitamin B in the body, so here is some stuff about vitamin B....
Vitamin B1 helps to metabolise sugar and starch to give you energy. Found in wholegrain cereals and bread.
Vitamin B2 repairs damaged proteins (muscle, skin) in your body and helps to grow hair and nails. Found in milk, cheese, yogurt, eggs.
Vitamin B3 required for sex hormones (might be the least of your problems today ) and reduces redness, especially in your face. Found in chicken, turkey and fish.
Vitamin B6 important for the immune system (and possibly to relieve PMS). Found in wholegrain bread and cereals, also banana, avocado and pork.
Vitamin B12 important for production of bone marrow and red blood cells. Found in meat (especially liver and kidney) and eggs.
Folic acid important in preventing tiredness. Found in green vegetables (broccoli, spinach, peas etc) and oranges.

If you have a look at the information on a pack of cereal they will often show the information. e.g. Special K has about half the daily requirement of Vit B1 B2 B6 B12 and also folic acid. So Eating a bowl of cereal with milk, followed by a sandwhich made with wholegrain bread and cheese, or an egg and some toast, or perhaps some vegetable soup will go a long way towards replacing and maintaining levels of vitamin B. Or all of the above plus a vitamin B supplement.

Not surprising that once we stop drinking and B vitamins are restored we feel as though we have more energy, our skin is better, less flushed, and out hair looks glossier

For anyone NEW or anyone LURKING (yes, you too ) please read Leucan's post above ^

Just try.

And see how quickly you too can have a pink, puppy-like tongue

leucan so glad you are enjoying the wonderful benefits of your sobriety, it was reading about you that let me believe I can do it too so you are helping me while helping yourself, in the words of a very famous song " one day at a time sweet Jesus" did you have the sweats? And if so for how long? X x x

LeucanTheMopsis oh that is very helpful, thank you and so glad it's working for you

the secret really is one hur/day at a time?

Sometimes its 15 bloody seconds at a time. But they add up

Thanks, Venus . And yes/yes to the 15 seconds. I had to go to the shop earlier and feck me that was a tussle. Booze everywhere; on offer, in puddings, in mince pies, in special packaging, in bargain heaps... I was in there about 7 or 8 minutes maybe, but ALL of that time was spent pleading with myself to move away from the bottles.

Kiki, yes that really is the secret. Blindingly simple. (Note I say 'simple', not necessarily 'easy'). Everything else is just window-dressing, analysis, overthinking it. And that may be necessary later, if there are things in your life you want to look more closely at. But for now, you just don't have a drink today. Tomorrow will look after itself, just don't have a drink today. If you feel the urge, go and do something that involves a bit of brain power (conversation with someone, a sudoku, setting the video for later... ) and the urge will lessen.

One of the most useful things I read from these fantastic Babes is that cravings are temporary. I thought if I didn't have a drink the feeling would get worse and worse and stronger and stronger and I'd spend the evening in tears. It doesn't. It goes away. Depending on how juvenile my attention span is on any particular evening, it takes between about 5 minutes and an hour. And then because you haven't had a drink, you feel a bit prouder of yourself, so it's easier next time...

Says she with a grand total of 8 days experience

Baby, I haven't even started being properly sobrietal (hah!) yet! You may have read I was a bit stinky ( ) the first few days, so yes, I probably was sweatier than I should have been. But that's disappeared. Mentally I'm still very up and down, but bugger me that's an improvement on the week before this, when I was just down, down a very long way.

(oh, my puppy GAMBOLS gleefully, btw, he doesn't have a roulette problem )

Hello Babes

I have been lurking on this thread for ages and have decided to join. I have had a bad relationship with alcohol for many years. In my younger days it was of the binge drinking type behaviour - drinking too much, getting into stupid arguments, feeling guilty etc. It was certainly a key factor in the break up of at least one relationship.

As I've got older and particularly post kids have slipped into a bad habit of drinking most days, usually a half bottle of wine but have noticed that it has been creeping up and have even found myself in the situation beautifully described by Leucan of thinking a glass of wine in the morning might be a nice treat. Its also contributed to embarrassing situations at family gatherings and family rows.

I've tried cutting down/ giving up several times over the past couple of years and have always ended up back in the usual old routine with added garnishes - e.g. you've had your half bottle - why not have a little whiskey to round it off. For the past few months I've tried again with renewed vigour and have done some really serious reading about it and been seeing a counsellor.

So now I'm trying again - I'm on day 3 and feel very positive. I'm not sure if I want to quit forever but I do want to show myself that I can stop for a prolonged period of time - initially a month. I know that drinking makes me tired and depressed and even though I don't know if things will be better without I do know that they won't be worse.

Something that I have realised as a result of my failed attempts is that for me completely stopping is very hard and requires a lot of sustained effort and actually I think this is what is different about this time compared to the previous ones. Previously I had the idea that once I'd done a few days it would get easier and when it didn't I'd find myself making excuses like "Well You have done well" or negatively - "this is how you are - a bit rubbish so why not just have a drink anyway". But this time I realise that it will be hard and that is something I need to face up to because if I do I will feel its a real achievement at the end.

venus thanks for your advice, I'm only going to worry about tonight and tomorrow when tomorrow comes and green I picked up you using the word "dull" and I know exactly what you mean, I whinge on about my weight and my wrinkles and every day I'm going to stop drinking and im bloody sick of listening to myself, it's dull dull dull so it's time to shut up and give up!!!! Kiki I know we are in your danger zone time so stay close and let us help you, you are all changing my life, this will be my first no wine night since,,,, god I don't even know, im going to put on a face pack and paint my nails and get the fake tan on, all things a semi pissed person can't do!!!!

Oh, and on the abstinence or moderation debate. Well, I've been telling myself I should cut down for about... oooh... 26 years. So that's not been a rip-roaring success.

Personally, I don't think I can do moderation. At least not yet. At least not for quite a while. I'm not even going to start worrying about it. Because when I'm really honest with myself, when I think of having 'a' drink, the emotion that I'm feeling inside isn't a nice, civilised, oh-what-a-treat feeling - it's a crashing, screaming, skydiving, wrench to just drink and drink and drink and drink and drink...

So that would be a no, then, for me at present.

I'm also putting £5 a day in a jar, my miumimum wine spend and will treat myself to something nice at the weekend, i think that well be a great incentive x x x

Hello, Buyer! 3 days and feeling positive is wonderful. I read somewhere that changing a habit takes between 3 weeks and 9 months (depending on the activity and whether it affected mood or was just a physical habit like using a knife in your right hand), which might explain why a few days off didn't really change your attitude towards drinking.

But it's not all 'hard'. I mean it is, or can be - but then some days it isn't and there are huge positives to balance it out again. And then it's hard again, but then you notice you're feeling quite cheerful. So it won't just be miserably, unrelentingly, hard for a month!

Baby, are you typing with wet fingernails?

Hey buyer nice to have you with us, the more of us who talk about our drinking issues the stronger I feel, like you guys are pulling together to make me a shield to stop the wine witch getting to me!! So you've just made the shield one person stronger, great to have you on board and I hope we can help you x x x

leucan I'm getting dd from choir then start my beautifying treatment, It may take some time!!!!!! X x x

So sorry to hear that you are having a crappy time just now Green.

I know exactly what you mean about the 'promises in the morning that disappear by the afternoon'. As well as my 'fuck it' thoughts I would have 'So what!?', 'Who cares anyway' and (the worst) 'At least I'm not on hard drugs!!' (Made myself laugh thinking about that last one again!) Your comment - "if I'm going to be bad I'll be really bad" also resonates with me. The bollocks and lies we tell ourselves to enable us to buy one more bottle of wine!

Can you think of anything making you feel so destructive right now. Is there something specific that's started this episode off? ? Is there anything you can do to change your situation?

Hang in there Lovely, you've really inspired and helped me loads in the past and you've managed to stay on the bus for good periods of time. Don't beat yourself up but....don't give up giving up. Huge hugs! x

Hello all

I walked past the pub on my way home tonight - for the first time in ages. And as I'm cold and wet I'm going to put on my pyjamas before I tackle my homework which will dissuade me from wanting to bother.

I'm exhausted as I didn't sleep well last night, but otherwise okay, which is good.

Hugs to all xxx Here's to a second day without any alcohol!