The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

soma said >> when are you having your next 500ml? - when you put it like that, it sounds quite awful!

It would be next weekend, but I felt it was more trouble than it was worth so not sure...

worry hope you got a good nights sleep and have some plans for today

good morning isinde where have you been? off globe-trotting?

ma quinsy?! I thought that was some mediaval disease like the plague and the pox! I hope you feel better very soon...

feel like shit this morning, slept very badly - I keep getting this bizarre feeling that as I'm dropping off I suddenly awake with a shock. That happened about 10 times last night. I also get night terrors - wake up screaming convinced there is Something in the room (nearly gives DH a heart attack!)

Don't know if its the prozac I've started taking, or the mirtazapine which I am tapering off. All I want is a decent nights sleep.

I know! I love the name of it,if not the symptoms. Modern term is peritonsillar abscess but quinsy makes me feel all plague ridden and leprous. holds out palsied hand for 3 day old flagon of brew from indie
And just where the bloody hell have you been anyway?

at indie. Can I have a pair of those wonderful undergarment s please?
I loved call my bluff!

Thanks Gugg, I do feel so much better - I've lost 11lbs and saved an estimated £250 - £350 (feel very disgraced that I squandered so much money on alcohol previously ). Still not sleeping all that well and don't have enough energy to get some of the 'big' stuff done but Chrys (Alcohol Services) has told me to take it easy for now. I am really worried about avoiding alcohol on Christmas day. My favourite tipple has been reduced to £5.00 a bottle in Tescos (I even caught myself stroking the bottle this morning in the store!!!). My ex is coming round for the day (we get on well, have no 'other halves' and the children love it) and the thought of the whole day without a glass of something is very alien! It's still 5 weeks off. Ho hum.

How is the written work coming on? I know how you feel, I went back to college a few years ago and getting back into studying/writing/concentrating was a struggle. I always found that, if I couldn't find the words to start with, I started where ever I did have some ideas and slowly, like a jigsaw, put it all together eventually. Good luck.

Poor ma, isinde and joey. Wishing you all better soon.

Kot me too (I waver between thinking I should stop completely and wanting to control it). Not drinking right now but I never know how long it's going to last. Well done for reducing and keep us posted. Joey I didn't mean it like that (about the ickle bottle of wine) and sorry if I spoke out of turn :( I know how awful not sleeping is too; am waking up several times a night and just feel knackered. I can understand it being hard to fall asleep in the first place (racing thoughts etc) but once you're asleep, what keeps waking you up? My room is pitch dark and there's no noise so it's all very frustrating.

Worry don't be too concerned about SS if you see your GP etc. They came to see me once, after I was arrested for a drink-related incident during a horrible divorce but after they interviewed me and could see how keen I was to do something about my drinkingI and that DD was well cared for, they didn't bother me again. There's no reason why your GP/CMHT would want them involved just because you're trying to do something about your drinking.

soma no you weren't speaking out of turn, it just made me laugh thinking how my week revolves around such a ridiculous thing.

The night terrors I've had for a few years, I think they're worse recently. The weird sudden waking (almost like the brain-shocks I've heard about?) seems to only be since I started the mirtazapine. But I'm now tapering that, so don't know why it would happen last night. Do I continue the prozac? Do I just quit the mirtazapine cold turkey? Is it some combination of the two?

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Welcome Worry - this in particular stood out for me - I should be able to do everything, because there's nobody else to do it, other people manage it so why can't I? I feel a massive failure, I don't think I've ever hated myself as much as I do right now. This year has been absolutely hideous, and I can't keep going on at my friends, I don't have very many of them as it is and I know I'm pissing them off.

Being a single parent is hard work! Being a parent is hard work too! You have to be all things to your DC and at all times, it's just too much isn't it? And then there's the added pressures of 'outside' like the things that everyone else wants.

I agree with those who have said to you that the GP is a great place to start, mine was. And as Soma says, don't worry about SS, they only get involved if they feel they absolutely have to IME.

It's good to have you here, I hope that today is going better for you and that you'll soon find the support and help you want.

Ma - sorry you are poorly, please try to rest xx

Purple - I am really worried about avoiding alcohol on Christmas day. My favourite tipple has been reduced to £5.00 a bottle in Tescos (I even caught myself stroking the bottle this morning in the store!!!). My ex is coming round for the day (we get on well, have no 'other halves' and the children love it) and the thought of the whole day without a glass of something is very alien! It's still 5 weeks off. Ho hum.

STOP PROJECTING!!!!

Christmas is 5 looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong weeks away. Tomorrow is hours away. Worry about now please. In 5 weeks' time, you'll be a whole different version of you again won't you? Look at how far you've gotten. Look at the weight you've lost, the money saved...... your posts are boingy. You type with smiles in your words.

Don't worry about the traditional Christmas Day tipple. Plan Christmas Day drinking on Christmas Day. You'll drive yourself absolutely nuts between now and then with the shall I shan't I drink bollocks.

I have come to the conclusion that I really don't like the person that my mother has become. and very, very .

She picks at EVERYTHING and even DD asked DH why 'Grandma kept having a go at mum' last night.

On a hpaay note, DH's new company car has arrived and it's lovely and he's happy with it after months of researce, so we are too. Not bad for a Monday xx

JOEY!!!!

CALL YOUR GP NOW AND ASK FOR A CALL BACK

DON'T just stop taking either, you're being tapered for a reason and trust me when I tell you that stopping anything cold turkey is shite! If you call, explain to reception the situation, and could you please have someone call you back ASAP, they should get a GP back to you IME.

It could be the two, it could be stress, it could be alcohol and the two. It could be anything so get it checked rather than just stop. Be safe, be sure xx

Hello babes - sorry bit behind, purple thanks for asking after me- I have been in the side car for the weekend coughing and spluttering, few glasses of wine over the weekend - I feel so dreadful with sinusitis, I am just drinking and overeating - not the best remedy for health - really struggling to find motivation and enthusiasm for anything at the moment! Joey do ring the docs - how long have you been on teh prozac for now, I had side effects including disturbed sleep for first two or three weeks then fine, hopefully it will settle down - what dosage are you on? poor Ma as if you haven't got enough to cope with!

Just to add re side effects of meds..... when I first started to take the slow release morphine, I used the have the most amazing dreams. I could touch, taste, smell, hear every single colour, everything was magnified, all my senses were so acute!

I'd even hallucinate at times during the day, which is not great looking back, but some of the stuff I saw was brilliant.

It takes time for things to settle when entering and also leaving your system. I was really surprised at just how comparable meds are in terms of how long they stay in your system for!

Some of the stuff I took I had to stop straight away because of the reactions I was having but others have been reduced by 5mgs per six weeks.

Greeny - sorry to read that you're not feeling so great with sinusitis, I think Saf suffers from sinus nastiness too . Do you find anything helps? I'm guessing that sleep must be difficult too. My cold has been here for oh, erm, about two bloomin' months now!!

Ma - how are things today? You're in my thoughts xx

Silver - Give us a wave if you're around and any other Babes out there we've not seen for a while....

Obrigada - where are you up to now? Still doing okay? xx

mouse actually my gp said I could quit cold turkey without too many problems; it was me who decided to taper because I was worried about my sleep.

green 20mg since friday. the doc did wonder about stopping everything as we have no idea where I'm at in
terms of mood, side-effects etc. maybe he had a point...

really I can't keep going back and chop, change, must give it a few weeks. sorry.

mouse is your mum elderly or depressed. I found my mother turned into a right cow a few years ago for no reason. never found out why ( shes back to normal now!) but I suspect she was unhappy about her own life...

Thank you mouse - on the plus side I have not smoked for a week as that would truly kill my sinuses! - Sorry for all the other snotty babes - Is there anywhere we can put a bowl of steaming hot vicks on this bus? - I do need to not drink as I am so dehydrated which makes it worse but I am already thinking about the quarter bottle of red wine I have left at home and the fact I'll need to open a bottle of white for the salmon I'm cooking for dinner

Thanks mouse and koti, I know it's a long way off and I promise to stop projecting . To think of it as just another Sunday roast is a good idea. Maybe it's the fact I've been doing well that I'm thinking it's too good to be true. I have to say that the mood swings have calmed right down and I'm on much more of a level now. Much calmer with the children and stressy moments. Even managed to get on the floor and play fight with the DC without having to be 'merry' first.

Green hugs for you, I didn't realise how painful sinusitis was - until I got it! Hope you feel better soon.

PS 'Boingy is good, right mouse?

purple its normal to be thinking ahead to christmas, weddings, birthdays... those are usually big drinking occasions even for normally sober people... on the other hand by the time those events come round you may be feeling even stronger than you are now; more weeks of practice, more habits formed.

you cannot compare how you feel now, with how you might feel in 6 weeks!

Alias and it's why successful, ie sober, alcoholics take it one day at a time...

Joey - sorry, did I miss that bit? About the GP saying you could just stop? I guess it depends on dose and the actual meds.

The shit I was on would have near killed me to just stop, I think I might have panicked for you!

Purple - Boingy is Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!! Really, it is. It's that feeling you get when you suddenly wonder why on earth did you ever chase that problem solver, pain killer, soul soother, head fucker all the way down to the bottom of the bottle and realised that actually, you really don't need it to make life 'okay'.

'Okay' is liveable right? Well, from where I'm lying it is (pain is bad so sideways is best) and to be fair.... 'okay' is bearable for most things or so I've found.

It's 'okay' to be pissed off at my mother because of who she has become due to her illnesses (some real, some martyr material only Joey, lots of 'oh at least I won't have to shit) and it won;t make it better by getting tw@ted.

So, boingy is great, and until you get to boingy, 'okay' is just grand lovely Babes xx

Hey Help - long time, no speak..... how are you? I seem to miss lots here these days.

Tomorrow is another school day for me and Nemo, STILL no news on the statement and this is the week that I need to start making lots and lots of noise.

Purple - It's also absolutely natural to worry about things coming up. Of course it is, you really don't want to f@ck up do you, not after all of your hard work. Maybe, just maybe you'll surprise yourself and kick the pants off every single hurdle you face each and every time you do?

Why the hell not huh? You've done so well, getting past day 1 is great in itself, never mind as far as you have. So, stop feet shuffling and forget about the pressure you're putting yourself under for an event that hasn't happened yet, and is a bit further down the line and enjoy the fact that tomorrow is a whole new day, but toyou made your DCs laugh by playing on the floor with them without the aid of wine. Brave!

Aaaaw, Mouse I'm taking being 'boingy' as a compliment! You are right, I'm feeling a lot more 'up' and able to cope with stuff - which, in itself, leads to a calmer, more organised life. The Christmas 'thing' has been brought about by me doing my Christmas food shop today (see! Organised!!) and this will be the first year in about 25 that copious amounts of booze hasn't been on the list. Just felt odd, is all. I'm pretty good at taking it ODAAT Help, just one small trip-up today, a brief look back at the past that caused a slight peek into the unknown future. Feeling better already this evening.

"Feeling even stronger in 6 weeks" Alias is a great thought to hang on to. Ta, everso! I wish you a peaceful, uneventful nights sleep tonight.

So sorry to hear about your pain and your problems with your Mum Mouse, with everything you have on your plate you certainly don't need anything else. Is it possible to have a little distance from her, just for a while until you feel physically stronger?