The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

at Gerald going over a pothole. who the heck is driving these days anyway?
soma your brother and mine sound alike. I think if you want to have him at your home, have room and he is not a danger to you or DD, then getting him away from a negative relationship with parents might be a big help
mouse thank you for the kind words as always. What I have to deal with is a fraction of what you cope with, so shu - uuuuuuuuuuuup!
venus wise words as always my friend.

soma I can't remember where you are in your 'sobriety journey'. If its early days or you're on and off the bus or in the sidecar, it might be hard for you both. Could he perhaps come and stay for a while, without moving out of you parents' house? You could support each other without being trapped.

soma thats a tricky one, what do your parents think of the idea?

Joey haven't said anything to my parents yet - don't want to get my dad's hopes up too much, he'd be overjoyed if my bro moved out! Help that might be the sensible thing to do, have him to stay for a bit as it's still quite early days for me. It does do him so much good to stay with me and he's so appreciative, we'll see....

Any developments with your brother Ma? What's everyone doing tonight?

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Ma - you're in my thoughts no matter how much shit I have, that's what friends are for, virtual or otherwise xx

Testing day today with a little boy who knows his boundaries are wide open right now and is pushing every last one of them to the absolute limit...... He did have the decency to say sorry eventually for hitting another child, said child then hugged him and I cried.

New car for DH for Monday, old company car goes, friends here tomorrow, my folks and my darling bro's new GF who I have yet to meet, are coming over Sunday so a busy weekend and week to follow.

I have been advised by a very dear and close friend that the best course of action with the lack of Nemo's Statement for preschool is to contact the Director of Education. So, that's my next step.

WRT respite, we have a new carer coming on Wednesday along with the manager who I have been in contact with. I'm hoping that we will get along well, and that Nemo will like her too.

It's all so bloody much. But I'm sober and I know that if I wasn't, I'd not be able to fight his corner and he needs me to more than ever right now.

Sorry for the 'me' post, just thought I'd update. Hope everyone is kicking the Wine Witch in the crotch tonight........ don't waste your weekend, do something different, new, or just relax. Have a PJ day, shop, go to visit a friend last minute...... test yourself. See if you can have a sober night, a sober few hours.

Be Brave xx

Hey all. Bro downed a bottle of wine this morning in less than half an hour. On the plus side, he has registered with gp and contacted an alcohol abuse agency. He seems to be in an odd place where he is now open about his drinking yet not stopping it. Is this progress? He told dh that he did buy another bottle yesterday afternoon after DH left, but that he emptied half of it out. Don't know if he's telling the truth or not, but if he did it would be progress as he is usually unable to stop once he starts. Dh is doing a sterling job I have to say.

I'm glad DH is stepping up ma. Your DBs behaviour sounds very like mine at the end of my drinking. I knew I was an alcoholic and couldn't drink normally and so stopped even trying. There was about 6 weeks between it being out in the open and my last drink. The only thing you can do now is keep him safe. Does he drive? Can DH take his car keys? It sounds like he knows his drinking days are numbered, just help him accept the help he needs.

helpyourself ah yes, the knowing that your drinking days are numbered stage, but not ready to do anything about it. not that I was quite as bad as mas brother, but I do remember that feeling of "can't help myself, may as well drink".

If I remember right, the next stage is believing you can do controlled drinking. and failing. your bro has at least made the first step, but it could take a while. I hope you get lots of help and support ma

he has hahalf a bottle today and put the rest in the bin as he said he didnt want mum coming home to evidence of his binge.
I went in with mum when I dropped her off as I wasn't sure what she would find but he is clear-eyed and positive. he had made a pot of tea and put bisdcuits out on a plate - it was quite sad - like small child seeking approval,
However he was very open, said that there could be no more hiding etc. He is going to AA tomorrow afternoon and has an appointment on November 23rd with the regional alcohol abuse service for counselling. he had phoned them himself to arrange this.
We shall see, bu in his support tonight I will not be drinking.

Checking in
love to everyone, no time to read back yet.
Still here. Still in the sidecar.
Catch you later

I'm trying the roofrack tonight - it's a bit scary up here. My main aim will just be to relax and enjoy it, not get anxious when the end of the bottle draws near, and not feel resentful when its finished. Not sure if it will be worth it!

And of course NOT let it be the start of the slippery slope. It's like a love/hate relationship.

watching capercaillie on tv. ma well done on your efforts to support your brother.

actually, I tried to find some low-alcohol wine, but admit I didn't look very hard. I did notice that m&s had increased their range of smaller size bottles.

Just had a hot chocolate tonight.battled the wine witch hard earlier on and she seems to have fucked off now. Go steady Alias

only got a small bottle (500 ml) its all I allow myself. and after it's finished, thats it til next weekend.

Mixed feelings; its nice while it lasts, but I've been obsessing about it all day and quite anxious in the couple of hours before opening it.

plus my typing has gone to pot and i have to re-write everything.

are you going for nothing at all during the week alias?
I am wondering if now is the time to really go for total abstinence, but just dont feel in my gut its the way for me. Given what my bro is going through I am ashamed that I'm not making more of an effort, hence the Day 1 yesterday.
incidentally, WTF do I have the mother of all hangover headaches this morning?
That hot chocolate is dangerous stuff!!!

Ma, sounds hopeful about your brother. AA worked for my bro, he got a sponsor and took it very seriously for quite a while but doesn't seem to have the need to go now. Joey are you at the stage where you're trying controlled drinking? Do you feel it will work? I'm having friends for dinner next weekend and want to do beouf bourguignon and always like to use almost a bottle of burgundy in it. Will I react to the alcohol as I'm on antabuse? Half of me wants to stop taking it because the thought of not being able to eat one of my favourite dishes just seems absurd. I don't want to drink but I do want to be able to eat what I like....

Me and DD spent quite a trying day at my 80-something parent's house yesterday. Dad has got OCD and is depressed and taciturn apart from when he's ordering people about, mum fusses endlessly about feeding everyone and moans about dad and the English (she's German), my brother who lives with them behaves like a spoilt child and blames my dad for absolutely everything, including the fact that he's living there....It's as if there's a heavy grey cloud of negativity hanging over the place and it makes me feel very disloyal but it's such a relief to leave. Sadly DD feels the same and she's their only grandchild. I used to drink to cope with the visits and without the pleasant haze of booze it seems even more toxic.

can't believe I wrote last night I was only having 500ml - who was I trying to justify it to? ma? the Bus? myself??

yes i think i could manage controlled drinking - but not sure its even worth it. it did my head in yesterday planning it, waiting, anticipating... and then resenting it when I'd finished. I almost feel relieved that its over and i don't have to think about it for another week.

even after i'd finished I stayed up too late surfing, which is what I always do when drinking. And I got acid reflux in the night - nasty.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Joey - I'm trying the roofrack tonight - it's a bit scary up here. My main aim will just be to relax and enjoy it, not get anxious when the end of the bottle draws near, and not feel resentful when its finished. Not sure if it will be worth it!

actually, I tried to find some low-alcohol wine, but admit I didn't look very hard. I did notice that m&s had increased their range of smaller size bottles.

Mixed feelings; its nice while it lasts, but I've been obsessing about it all day and quite anxious in the couple of hours before opening it.

plus my typing has gone to pot and i have to re-write everything.

Reading those few lines makes me feel that at first you seemed okay with the initial thought of climbing up onto the roof rack, but then you seemed really deflated at the end of the wine, and you knew you would too IYSWIM?

I wonder how many of us look (or have looked) at the back of the wine label to see what the alcohol % is and if it was 8%, put it right back, almost in utter horror at the thought of drinking something so weak?

You said Joey about a smaller bottle too, for me, I would have bought two bottles, telling myself I'd just have the one, saving the other for the next night or having it there 'just in case'

I know I've not been keeping up with where everyone wants to be with their drinking but what is it you are aiming for today?

Massive X post, sorry Joey

Soma - families? Yuk! Small doses in my experience works just great for me, mine are arriving later today. We're meeting my brother's new GF. He too has only just left the family home at 26. TBF he's left before but had to go back but now he's got his own place and a nice new lady friend [eye roll at my mother] so I'm looking forward to seeing them, but very aware that in days gone by, family = two/three shots of vodka before the arrival of my mother..........

Ma - I am wondering if now is the time to really go for total abstinence, but just don't feel in my gut its the way for me. Given what my bro is going through I am ashamed that I'm not making more of an effort, hence the Day 1 yesterday.

I think you have to be really honest here and ask yourself if you actually want to stop. Your bro should be enough to scare you off drink for life and for some, that would be enough wouldn't it? For those who have never used drink to numb the pain, soften the blow, blur the edges.

Or watching a loved one slowly killing themselves again would be enough to make you/other never touch another drop..........

Honestly, I don't think it's that easy for you to do. If you could take all of the other shit that's going on out of the equation, and it just be about your brother, then maybe yes, you could do it in a heartbeat?

I'm not saying that you're a failure, or you can't do it, just that you need to shut everything else out and do it for you, because of YOU.

You know how this Bus works, we're all here for support, we're here because we all need to let shit out and ask for support and advice and tell each other about the way alcohol affects us, our families, lives, work, money...... everything!

If you really want to abstain, then go for it Ma! Bloody well go for it! I'll be right by your side for one, and I know that I won't be alone. Do it Ma, do it today, do it because you can. xxx

Hi, I'm new here and I think I need to stop drinking.

I've just poured away all of the alcohol in my house, and I've looked up local AA meetings. Tomorrow I'll go and see my Gp. I drink too often, too much, can't stop once I start. My life is falling apart around me, I'm falling apart. I've lost friends. I'm a single parent with no family for support and I need to sort myself out NOW for the sake of my children. I'm all they have and they need me to be better than this.

worry welcome to the bus, I'm sure you will find loads of support and advice here - I definitly have.

mouse it was all a bit deflating, and the reflux was awful. But I did catch myself having a stupid thought and manage to stop it! I started to think "I've worked hard today, I deserve this". Actually even before I finished thinking it, I realised what a lie that was. Can't use that as justification for drinking! The Bus has taught me well.

soma can't you do it without the wine? it will taste different but it wont taste awful, will it?

Thank you :)

I have found a local AA meeting that I will go to on Tuesday evening.

I'm a bit scared, embarrassed, ashamed of the way I've behaved over the last few months. Feeling quite lost, and alone. Today I'm cleaning the house up a bit, I have had a shower. that's more than I have managed all week.