The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

thanks you guys. Your sympathy and the kindness of the GP have made such a difference. (I always half-expect to be thrown out to make room for 'real' patients)

The GP (not the one who I saw originally saw) thought maybe my moods were all over the place because 4 months ago I stopped taking the seroxat after 10 years. And the low-dose mirtazapine didn't really do much, plus it was giving me all these side-effects.

So he suggested go back on an SSRI, but changed it to fluoxetine (prozac) instead of seroxat (not sure why, except that there is a possibility in my mind that long-term use of seroxat triggered the insomnia?)

And quit mirtazapine, which he said I could do straightaway as its not an SSRI and shouldn't have too many withdrawal problems. And hope that my brain has 're-set' the sleep patterns. Thats the only part that worries me - in case my insomnia and fatigue return....

He was pretty vague about the whole CFS/depression diagnosis. ('Nobody really knows' were his words ) He did suggest quitting everything and see what happened, but the sheer panic on my face led us to re-think that idea 'in the spring' !

And I'm not drinking.

kotinka it is a struggle, isn't it? I really find this Bus and the people on it help so much. I hope I can give something back one day.

alias you are already giving back. Every time you post on here, you help me. Whether I identify, remember, think not me yet, or remind me of what it's like to drink or bargain or be hungover, or celebrate an af day, you're helping all the BBs.

Joey I am on fluoxetine has been marvelous - had some side effects for first couple of weeks then they went, has really changed my life - amazing for not drinking well done girl xx

Quick check in. Brother has fallen off the wagon big time with major binge. He's in a bad way. Swears he'll go to AA this time,get help. Heard it all before.mother is away and he promised, PROMISED he wouldn't drink when she was away. He has already broken her heart. I am so angry with him, and so bloody sad.

Where is he Demented in relation to you, I mean- not a postcode?
Can you take him to a neeting?

oh ma you have so much else on your plate and now this! I can't help thinking that you need to focus so much on your own family, and maybe he should stop relying on you/your mum (is he quite young then?) but that sounds too harsh.

I just mean, prioritise. You, your kids, whats left of your marriage. But you first. You have to be strong for yourself first, otherwise other people suck whats left of your strength out...

Definitely, alias, and if he'd broken his leg, I wouldn't suggest you took him to the dr, but in this case, taking him to AA could be just what you need too.

He's the eldest, he's 51 and my older brother. Long history of alcohol abuse and working abroad. Lonliness is a big factor. Gave up his last job a few weeks ago - not
alcohol related for once - and back living with my mother until he finds something else. Lots and lots of other issues and baggage but basically had a big binge last week when mum was away visiting sis abroad. He broke down when she came back,admitted it, said he would get help, swore blind he was being hones this time, that he would get help, that he wouldn't blame us if we disowned him etc. This was Monday. Mum went away again Tuesday to visit an old friend and gave him his last ultimatum, not to drink when she was away. He was shaking and crying and swore blind he wouldn't. I hugged him and said I was there to help him. Today he phoned DH at lunchtime and said "help me" He was already drunk. DH has been brilliant, I have to say. my issues with him do not blind me to his qualities when it comes to helping others.If bro doesn't phone one of the help agencies tomorrow I will be so angry. I can't help him if he won't help himself.

your poor mum. and brother. alcohol is poison. I'm really starting to see that now. it just destroys families.

there was an advert on the radio last week: wine tastes better listening to music, and music sounds better with wine.

what a crock of... yes, I can understand people saying wine tastes nice. But to say music sounds better when drinking?!

demented. It's so hard, so close to home and such a distraction for you and your drinking/ not drinking.
Look after yourself- and I mean that in a robust put yourself first not in a 'have a bath with candles way'.

ma , I hope your bro gets himself to a local alcohol team as it sounds like he might need more than AA....maybe a bit of a detox and counselling? I am sorry if this has already been said. would never generalise about AS, but round where I live, quite a few people have found them a bit rigid, and found the launch into 12 steps too much, and had scared then away.that's why I was thinking local alcohol team could help with some lower level counselling/access to detox and rehab.every substance misuse team is obliged to let any client request funded detox and rehab.

AA, sorry, not AS.
I am on day 4 of detox (at home).parents been fab with helping look after my two young sons. hate the idea of not drinking again, but hate the idea of my life falling apart further even more.
hard with xmas coming up, wider family and friend just want to get everyone drunk!

yes, he definitely needs some very in depth counselling. and yes, it is close to home. oh, the irony.....will it stop me drinking?????
thanks for your support.

Glad to see you're bringing it back to you. Try and do that today, whenever you find your head spinning with DBs situation, check yourself and whether it's a 'trigger' or a 'yet' or you identify with him.

Kot glad it's not escalating, you're doing well, we're here if you wobble. Joey you are very much a "real" patient and GPs take issues like yours very seriously. I think Prozac is a good idea, my brother's just started it after being on Seroxat for 17 years. He's been trying to get off Seroxat for ages and has never quite managed it because of the horrendous withdrawal symptoms but he's managed it this time and seems a bit better. For the first time, I'm hopeful about him.

Ma what's happening with your brother touched me deeply. Not least because I have a brother (the aforementioned one) who sounds rather similar. He's 53, unemployed, single after the break-up of a significant relationship and living with my parents because he can't afford to rent, let alone buy. He's a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink for two years (he used to go on horrendous benders) and has significant mental health issues. I'm very close to him and want to help him too.

Living with my parents is really bad for him, he has a toxic relationship with our controlling OCD father who has never shown him an ounce of love and mum is co-dependant and smothers him. I would not have considered this before because he was drinking but I was wondering if I should ask him to come and live with me. It's just me and DD and we have enough room, he's very considerate and we have a lot in common. I really want him to make a go of things and it just ain't going to happen whilst he's living with my parents. It's a big step and I don't want to rush into anything, but what does everyone think?

Ma you are a lovely sister and I do so hope your brother really accepts he needs help this time and does something about it. Stuff like this destroys families :(

ma yet I could so identify with your brother - promising himself and others that this would be it - no more drinking, "that's it I'm done" (and really, really meaning it and believing it at the time). And then finding myself in the grip of something mad, illogical, unhealthy, unwanted, yet so so compelling.

It's interesting thinking about how illogical our need for alcohol makes us. Lots been posted over recent days about teen/pre-teen dds..... and logically if they came to us and said "I'm bored / worried / anxious / fed-up /pissed off with the world in general / pleased about something etc" I doubt that a single one of us would say - oh well, never mind, the thing that I've always found works in that situation is to have a few glasses of wine - just to take the edge off, here you go pre-teen dd reward yourself / console yourself with alcohol.

That would seem crazy, in fact abusive. Yet that's what I do with my 'inner-teen' when she is bored / pissed-off etc. I still tell her that a glass of wine would make it better. Then my 'inner-straight-laced-aunt' tells reminds me that I'm not drinking, and that it would make things worse, not better. So my inner-me then feels a bit put-out, and that life's not fair, and I sulk a bit.

So what would I really like to tell myself? That I love ME - whatever. That sometimes i don't like my behaviour, but I still love me. That sometimes life is shit, but that doesn't mean my love for me has disappeared. That sometimes things really do feel a bit better in the morning (and that sometimes they don't). That actually there are moments when all the effort feels worthwhile.

Apologies for the multiple-personality posting. I'm off to treat all of us to a cup of tea and a doughnut

amazing post, Venus

venus your thought-provoking posts always make me smile "inner-teen feels put-out"

Morning, tis me Mouse

Ma - like you don't have enough to deal with? You are absolutely right in saying that if your DB won't help himself then you can't either. It HAS to be him, like it HAS to be YOU/ME/US that make the decision to get help.

Not 'thinking about the options, rolling them around our heads, mulling things through' kind of help........ real help. Professional help from people who have the resources to help him stop killing himself and destroying his life and the lives of those around him.

Great post by venus and oh so true. The more someone says that you can't r shouldn't have something, the more we want it..... we're all guilty of that whether it be alcohol, drugs, chocolate or cheese

An addict is a dangerous person..... they lie about so many things and put themselves into harms way all of the time. False promises, false hopes for those who want the addict to stop, please, please just STOP.

It's so hard for you Ma, you have so much of your own shit to deal with. I'm really pleased to read that your DH has helped, I really am. As you very rightly said, this is not your relationship issues, this is separate, this is outside of the two of you. I'm pleased he's stepped up

Sorry for the quick post but it's school time now, will check back later. I just wanted to put a few words down. Thinking of you ma xxxx

just had the most hilarious confused conversation with my dm. She is elderly and quite confused by things anyway, and I'd been chatting on the phone to her a few days ago about a tradesman who was coming to my house to give me an estimate.

This morning dm is asking me all kinds of odd questions about how the tradesman managed to do his job. Much ?? ?? from me. She wanted to know if he had a dog. Much ?? ?? from me. How did he get there? err in his van... With a driver? err no.... ??

At last I realised! We're getting blinds fitted. And dm thought there was a blind man coming to the house.

Ma
There's a joke about a nun in the bath and the blind man knocks...

Hope all is going well with all the BBs today. Any weekend plans that need sabotaging? I'm struggling with a whole stack of post hurricane and new job admin. Stuff that was a trigger in the past, but now I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. Boring grown up stuff, but it works.

helpyourself thats one thing the Bus has taught me, is that Real Life can be boring, so what, just get on with it.

Actually being drunk does not alleviate boredom, it just gives you something else to focus on, like not falling over or throwing up.

I think I had a boing earlier, although it may have been Gerald going over a pothole. Just the realisation that I have I'm managing it (just)

alias award yourself that boing. You deserve it!
AA talks about the only emotions we feel when drinking are depression excitement and boredom; that was certainly true for me. I now feel mainly satisfaction and contentment. And that's really exciting!