Hat wars and soup-er dates, let the sausage see the roll... The Online Dating Thread reaches 25!

[Yogagirl17]

Erm...hope nobody minds?

snape you are awesome and are handling this so much better than I would have done/have done in the past in similar-ish setups. Well done.

bantam, good luck tonight! I have been lurking since the start of this incarnation of the dating thread, and hope the date goes well.

God, I love living vicariously through other peoples love lives. When my dating fast is over I shall join you all in earnest.

Woop!

Woot-ness! Go snape.

Oh well done!! I am so proud of you! It's a shame we can't get the cat to shit in his Stetson but we can fantasise about that one.

Hahahahahaha Time XD

From now on, everything you do is about you not him. If he contacts you, ignore, for you, deprive him of you, do not feed the emotional vampire.

He loved my cats.

Tough shit. :) Look at your loss.

am really proud of you. it takes a lot.
delete the emails too ( i kept years worth of ones from ywk)

it will make you feel better, mentally it creates a full stop to things. A recogination, then you can build on that. Its easier than trying to heal when you dont have things wiped clean.

You will be ok, promise.

He will be back and you have to prepare for that. It seems to me he is attempting to set new boundaries, on his terms. Yes, he will be your friend but he does not want you to love him or have feelings for him. And he will be your friend because he likes what he gets out of the friendship, he wanted everything he gets but he doesn't want you to love him. I think he is angry, that he sees you as having 'spoilt things' and that is why he has reacted as strongly as he has. A true friend, a kind and caring friend who was thinking of you would understand, they wouldn't want to hurt you, they wouldn't be so cruel. Remember that when he contacts you, once he is left with his boring self. Because without you, your kids, and your cats, what does he have?

Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference (in this context anyway) I know you'll sashay your way there soon enough.

Oh of course I will be. :)

Thank you, my lovely MN friends. I know lots of you have been here, or will Ill-advisedly go there, what we have is resilience, the capacity to love and be disappointed the conviction that despite rejection and squeezy-hand-clutching-at-our-collective-hearts we will repair, be ourselves, love again..

Hope is a wonderful thing, it is part of what makes us human, otherwise we suffer, draw in, are much smaller than we could potentially be. Hope is so important, it drives us on. I am never so depleted by life and it's cruelty as to not have a swallow that soars.

Yey, go Snape, love the blocking and deleting that's going on! y.y.y to deleting mails, otherwise they'll catch you out on a vulnerable,e day and set you back! Raising my cocktail glass to you you formidable woman!

Bantam, have a great date! Make sure you come back and tell us all!

Go Snape

bantam Good luck!!!

time. A lot of that makes sense, I find it difficult to not be the better person, to not give. It might be time, time

...and he doesn't want me to love him or have feelings for him because whilst I might be 'emotionally self harming' at least I have them. I like that about me.

Phew, quick thread+busy afternoon=I've only just caught up!

Snape, my admiration for you has just grown a thousand-fold. A couple of dozen posts ago I was going to say I get why you sent your email and you sent it for all the right reasons - because YOU had something you needed to say and it was just about the saying and not about the response. So well done on that.

But then I kept reading. You deleted his number AND you blocked him. You are too awesome for words (though of course you reserve the right to feel like shit again tomorrow if you want). But for tonight you are just totally awesome.

Time LOL@the cat shitting in the stetson! Better yet, get the cat to eat the mice.

Bantam Good luck!

And can I just say I love whoever said (way, way upthread) "Hugs Bosom"!!!

Oh. Response to email.

Snape, you are going to fly

It hurts for a long while but you come out of it stronger, it teaches you a lot about yourself and it ensures you don't make the same mistake again. This time next year you will be wondering what the hell you were thinking

Oooh...

'Then I'm sorry. Your email certainly put me off the second performance, I'm acting with lady macB tonight. Lets meet next week and talk, I suggest a lunchtime during the week. I'm sure we can work things out. And yes of course I want them to.

Wankbadger?

Fuckmuppet?

And clearly no response until the wisdom of MN is ignored informs me.

While we are waiting to hear about the email....

After asking me what I was doing next weekend, I have had no word from the geek. I replied that I was free, assuming he was interested in making plans and not enquiring out of idle curiousity. Can't decide if I can be bothered to get in touch or not...

snape - i suffer terribly from trying to be the better person, from forgiving, giving second/ third/ 100th chances, when none are deserved. I laboured under the illusion that this made me nice.

it does, but it also makes me a mug.

there comes a point where you ahve to say ' and what about me' and this week, you have done that.
THAT is amazing.
you should be proud of yourself.

Hmmm, I think the appropriate response is, "Actually, on second thought I don't think we can work things out." And then leave it.

Honestly? No, don't meet him. Set yourself free, totally free, from the restraints of unrequited love. There is only one person who benefits from it without pain and that is PM. It's holding you back, it's stopping you from moving on and finding a man who truly loves you. You have done the hardest part now, don't go backwards, go forwards, without PM. He does not deserve you. Truly.