Awww snape :(
You sound somewhat like me after the big bad break up in May last year.
Here's a snippet from one of my threads at the time. This was a few days after:
"I just don't understand it and I feel so desperate. It's only just sinking in that I have to have days, weeks, months, my life....without him. How am I supposed to cope? I love him so much. I don't want to face any of it at all. How does anyone get through times like this? and I'm usually the first to tell anyone they can do it, be strong etc. But my god I just don't want a life without him in it"
I also posted asking how the hell do i stop just basically waiting for him to come back, and so much other stuff along those lines.
Well I've since gone on to have one of the very best years of my life.
It took probably four months, being teetotal all that time (didn't trust myself not to get drunk and call him) a lot of nytol (used for sleeping, not all in one go, don't want to worry anyone!) a lot of audio books (listened to when in bed, to switch my brain off from thinking about him and all the injustice and the pain and all that) two calls to the samaritans when I just felt so alone, unloved, and in so much pain, an awful lot of 'keeping on keeping on' trying to go out and enjoy myself, a lot of being very kind to myself (not expecting too much, remembering it's a grieving process, allowing myself time to just sit on the sofa and eat crap and wail now and again) to get to a point where I started to feel ok.
Over time, the great crushing waves of pain became fewer and fewer, and I stopped waking up and having the awful realisation of everything over and over again.
It then took total cut off of contact, no emails, texts, coffee in person or facebook, to begin healing properly. That's when the best year of my life started.
I never would have believed, in the early days, that I would feel ok again, that I would love anyone else, that I would enjoy a meal and a laugh with anyone else or have any kind of meeting of minds with anyone again. I never would have believed that I could find the same (or better!) mind blowing connection and amazing sex. I never would have believed that I would look back on it all and feel virtually nothing, shrug my shoulders and say 'oh well' and furthermore actually be thankful we didn't continue, because it allowed this amazing year. If anyone had told me that, I'd have given an incredulous laugh and thought 'yeah right, not gonna happen'
But all that HAS happened
And I hope it does for you too. And in fact, I'm sure it will. Maybe not in the same way, but you will find your peace and stop hurting, and have fun again and love again.