all its been a week since I wrote so apologies, I thought I was strong enough to cope with this all after the first hurdle, but please, hold my hand. things are getting so tough!
having major battles with SS both adult and child who are refusing support to help me as a parent. Child SS has said that unless i can look after DS they are going to consider letting DH have him, and otherwise foster care.
They're both round on tuesday as . I asked them 4 suport as a parent took this to mean that i wasn't coping or capable.
My health is complete shite - ME and of course in the middlre of a relapse.
DH is to make out that I'm the violent one, and has got my family on side.
Mum has made this into a crisis about her, 'her heart is racing so much that she might have to go to the doctor'. even though she let DH have access to son on thursday without my knowledge or agreement. she came round today and got cross that i said that he didn't love DS or she would help more, so let me to fend for myself.
got a major rant from my dear sis:
^"You risk losing your son.
DH has a legal right to see his son, and from what I understand, he has been the chief carer of you both for the past three years. You say DS is not safe with DH but neither Mum nor I can believe this. In fact, the longer this goes on, the greater the detrimental impact this will have on your beautiful son.
What is clear is that you are not capable of looking after DS on your own. Not only do you have CFS/ME, which incapacitates you, but also you refuse your consultant?s advice about treatment. By continually depending on Mum for childcare, you are demonstrating that you cannot look after DS on your own.
Furthermore, if what DH has told me is true, then the evidence against you with regards to DS's happiness, wellbeing and safety does not look good. It is not for me to judge whether or not what he has told me is true or not ? it is a matter for the courts to decide.
But I would suggest that you are playing a very dangerous game ? the serious Âphysical, emotional and financial ramifications of which to all involved could be avoided. DH still, after all this, wants to look after you and DS You risk throwing away the one person in your life who wants to be with you and is willing and able to care for you both.
My hunch is that you are not seeing things straight at the moment ? and need help to do so. I think you have some emotional traumas, which probably go back a long way, and which need to be dealt with.
I understand why you don't want to seek psychotherapeutic help ? there are huge taboos around it and the prospect can be very scary. Most of all, though, I think you fear taking a long hard look at yourself and recognising the responsibility you have for your own life. Once you start the therapeutic process, however, you?ll realise you have nothing to fear. Psychotherapy is not about blame or fault or right and wrong but about helping you fulfil your potential and live a happier life.
As your sister, I do know you and would say that you really do need this help. My thoughts on this do not just come out of the recent situation, but from almost forty years of being your sister. Therapy can help you to understand the very strong feelings you have and make them bearable. It can also help you to find clarity in the thoughts you have and in the way you see the world. Do it for yourself and DS."^
Of course I realise this emotional blackmail, but I still am concerned about the level of conspiracy and collusion. It's hard not to get upset when something so nasty comes along.
Additionally there's a lot of untruths here. I have had DV counselling the last year , and also tried to get more counselling from DR, as well as sign me and DS for support now.
you were all right about families - I can't beleive it!
I guess I'm emotionally v raw and becuase of this I have little energy (ME) to try and do everything. what do i tackle first???!!