Would I be mad to let him stay with me?

[tiredofwaitingforitalltochange]

Dh and I are separating, we decided in February. Selling the family home. Lost our buyers in May, have new buyers, due to complete at the end of November.

I have a house and got the keys in mid-August, bought with a loan from members of dh's family (to help all of us). I'm moving in on Saturday.

Dh has dragged his heels finding somewhere and has made two offers, one has been accepted, the other is pending.

Neither of these properties is likely to be available to move into any time soon.

Dh 'can't face renting/putting stuff into storage' etc. He's proposing living in our second home, miles away, temporarily. He'll only see the kids at the weekends and he worships them.

I feel awful that he might end up effectively homeless. He may have orchestrated this, he didn't want to separate - I did. I don't hate him. I feel huge moral pressure to say he can stay in my new house, but I can hardly bear the idea. It's dragged on for months already, and I am desperate to move on and I worry about...

confusing the kids
him getting his feet under the table and finding reasons to postpone moving out.

What would you do?

with/about

I see the distinction now, sorry

it is time for my beddy byes

that remark isn't all that is turgid about that poster, but let's spare the blushes, eh ?

Ah feck, you're drinking wine. I could murder a glass. Pour me one will you? None in the house :(

or did I mean flaccid ?

< shrug >

You meant flaccid, haha!

no, DISagreement ABOUT cron...etc

gah! sorry, you got it .

I'm with you now

perhaps it's the wine I need, but I must away to bed, before the flaccid one comes back and calls me some snidey names like "uppitty" or "getting above my station", stuff like that

got another bottle of Villa Maria SB if you two late birds wanna come over.

Or maybe we should all just go to bed like normal adult women on a school night

what a lovely offer, but I have work in 6 hours

:( Don't make it worse. I might go and see if Dh has left any beers lying around.

good plan

the flaccid one

That's really cheap. I love it.

go to bed tired

see?, it makes sense

this thread is probs top of Active Convo's now

think of all the air time the flaccid one will be getting, it might even get slightly less soft

all good

Nah. Been on here too long this evening, I've been neglecting eBay and have to catch up there haha

I really am going now. Good night x

Good Night AF x

good night AF, TOW, x

Oh yeah & what about my ex husband who decided to leave one day 'on a whim'. Would you say the same to him, probably not. That comment was ridiculous.

As for you OP get packing & if ur soon to be ex husband starts any carry on just treat him like the child he is behaving like. You are starting a new better chapter in your life. Its now about you & the dc. You will be fine on your own.

work. Bloody hell. Me too. I'd forgotten about that

Don't forget, anyone and everyone, that there is a reason for the amount of guff that gets thrown at women dumping abusive men. And that's the concept at the root of society - women are men's possessions and exist for men's benefit, so there is something OOOH BWAAAAH threatening to THE ENTIRE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE about a woman refusing to be mistreated by a man and chucking him out. All this 'It's not so bad, really, he isn't raping the cat and beating you up' stuff is starting from the point that men are entitled to own women and control them, and while it's a bit naughty of individual men to damage their own property or be careless with it, the property is still theirs. And for the property to start thinking for itself.... oh, that mustn't happen.

amen

Well I let dh sort out the car. It's a big relief. I get my new wheels next week, done a part exchange. Maybe I've sold out, but it's a relief to have another thing ticked off the list.

And he's made an offer on somewhere today that has been accepted, aiming for completion by the middle of December! Dc are pleased that he's finally looking sorted, and they have a new house to get excited about.

I'm moving out on Saturday. I can store his stuff if he needs me to, and he can find a temporary solution to fill the breach which will likely be only a few weeks.

Thank you everyone who's taken the time to post on here. This has been an awful time, and I've been on MN a lot over the last few weeks, and it's been such a help x