Red shoes, charming lesbians and pirates with taste...Dating Thread 24

[ChaoticismyLife]

It's the best I could come up with

As you were...

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Oh, men want to fill their boots more than women do. Oh, that is just too funny.
Guess what, women really like and want sex too. Quite often more than men.....

[bantamrooster]

And sponge - I wasn't saying those were my views, I was saying those were views held by men after talking with them down the pub.

So, I'm 38, separated just under a year, two DD (6 and 4) who are, quite frankly, awesome. I had a few OD dates, where there just wasn't a spark, so I was thinking that maybe all the emails and phone calls beforehand to make sure she wasn't insane (which a few women are) kind of ruined all the anecdotes and funny stories - or at least took away some of the stuff to talk about on a first date.

Then, 5th girl I met up with in real life, was really very beautiful, and funny. and interesting and intelligent. We talked the place closed after 4 hours of coffee and drinks, then I walked her back to her car and a quick kiss. And so much eye contact.

Then , second date, lots of talking again over sushi, walked her back to her car. By this point I'd realised she wasn't that great at responding to texts - as in it took her a day to respond. Or sometimes two. But. a few more kisses when I walked her back to her car again, and I asked her if she'd be up for a 3rd date, she said yes.

So, a week later, she cancelled due to sickness. She was really looking forward to it, but was too ill, could we do next week. So of course I texted to say yes. And then no response. So I'm confused. She was making all the eye contact, she was very much looking forward to next date, she cancelled, she didnt respond. I should pack it it now, right?

[snapespeare]

I do think (forgive me ladies) a lot of us have experienced the shag-n-runners and bantam gives us an opportunity to express our ire. And thank you bantam for not disappearing because we're all going 'easy!!!!? I'll give you easy'.

(Was kidding about the 'extent of your emotions' thing btw.).

The bloke I was seeing earlier in the year (I can't even remember what his mn nickname was now) who broke my two & a half year drought, I shagged him on the 4th date, never heard from him again, he kept his eyes shut the whole time, it was like I was anyone. I'm certainly not. So, it's something to chalk up to experience. Meh. The prof (intermittent fwb) maintains it was because he was terrified. I prefer that explanation to the over-ride head-tape that I'm actually a bit of a moose...

[mercury7]

(marking my place in the dating lounge :) )

[Yogagirl17]

How long since you've heard from her?

[Walkacrossthesand]

Hi all, thanks for all your waves & welcomes, they arrived during a little 'wander off' on my part. If it's alright with you I shall lurk wistfully like a child with nose pressed against toyshop window - my foray into OD was spectacularly unsuccessful. Tried 2 different sites, chose a couple of nice pics, tried different profile styles, sent some messages to likely-looking lads, none of whom had manners enough to reply, and I gave up after 3 months. Found it more demoralising to keep hoping for a message, than just to get on with being single, TBH. Maybe I'll meet someone just when I'm out & about. But I shall enjoy reading about your adventures!

[ChaoticismyLife]

I'd text her and ask her how she's feeling, then take it from there. I'm not a big texter myself, I much prefer to meet up and talk in person than waste time emailing/texting. If this was me I'd probably not have text because I wasn't feeling well, then it would be 'I must text x' but it would take me a while to get round to it.

Other's will give you different advice, I can only go off what I'm like and you said she wasn't a prolific texter. Text her, if she replies than suggest another date and see what she says. If she agrees but doesn't arrange an actual date then I'd say don't waste your time.

[snapespeare]

Yes. Pack it. 'She's just not that into you'... (Sorry!)

[ChaoticismyLife]

Walk I'm constantly wandering off, sometimes I even leave mn

I'm currently sofa surfing so come and join me and sponge and some of the others. We're here to listen to and advise those who are doing the actual dating atm.

[Movingforward123]

Hi just marking my place

[Walkacrossthesand]

PS bantamrooster - if I'd just met someone who I could talk to for 4 hours, who was clearly keen, I'd make sure I replied to his texts! So the fact that she didn't would indicate either that she's not that into you, or she has more complicated stuff going on that she hasn't shared - like a boyfriend?

[Yogagirl17]

Bantam - maybe she was hoping for a post-sushi shag and she's disappeared cause you threw the stick too far?

[bantamrooster]

Hi chaotic, yoga

well my last text from her was 6 days ago, since then I've sent two 'how are you' type texts, and nothing back. So I've got to work out that fine line between 'I really think you're nice and would like to go out again' and 'I'm stalking you'. Ptchah. Tough line to draw. But even if she does want to go out again I'm thinking someone so noncommunicative isn't what I want anyway. So.

What's a boy to do?

[Yogagirl17]

6 days...I think you have your answer

[snapespeare]

A boy goes to play with his tonka toys.

A man moves on.

[bantamrooster]

and yoga thanks for that She seemed into me, but not that into me (at that moment). It's the whole 'I'm really looking forward to monday', then 'I'm sick can we rearrange' then '.....' that kind of annoyed me. Why say you're really looking forward to it when you're not?

Ah well. Back to the website.

[mercury7]

Guess what, women really like and want sex too. Quite often more than men.....
gotta agree with you there Watch!
in my experience lots of men just arent really up to the job..not that I have an enormous sample size mind, but really if they're no good at that, well, I have no other use for them:o

[bantamrooster]

On the plus side, there's a girl from russia who wants to be my bride.

[hatesponge]

I was going to say she's probably waiting for you to text her and suggest a rearranged date.

However as you have text twice with no reply I rather think that's your answer.

But of course what would I know, I never get beyond the first date so my opinion is probably moot.

[ChaoticismyLife]

Based on the further information give it up. Like I said I'm not a big texter but if you text me than I'd reply.

[snapespeare]

'Why say you're really looking forwards to it when you're not'

Oh. Men and women, we're not really that different, are we......

Never mind, hoist up your bosom (no, wait, umm) square your shoulders, move on.

[Yogagirl17]

LOL snape!

Who knows Bantam - I think it just goes to show that men & women are more similar in their approach to this than you think though. I've done that too (sort of). Had date no. 1, enjoyed it (no kissing though), told him I enjoyed it (which I did at the time). Agreed to date no. 2 but by the following week just had second thoughts & cancelled with a fib & vague promises to reschedule and then just never did. To be fair though, he never pursued it either. Both sexes can do the disappearing act.

I'll tell you what we tell everyone on here - you will probably never know. Maybe she was into you and then someone else she was more into came along, maybe she changed her mind, maybe she got back together with an ex, maybe she's developed some strange rash, maybe she was just lying...

[bantamrooster]

yoga. I'll choose to believe in the rash to protect my own precious ego

[bantamrooster]

Okay so do you want me to give a rundown of the other 4 dates so you can flame me for those too, or sympathise with me?

[snapespeare]

Yes! Go!

There are no secrets here!