He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

Nothing could be further from the 'wimp' word here!

You're doing incredibly well OP and you sound very switched on to his tricks. It's never an instant leap from the realisation of what's happening to you to 'get out of my life'

It all takes time to 'marinade' and you will get to the point of doing what's right for you when you're ready (soon by the sounds of things)

SolidGoldBrass - you were and are instrumental in helping me realise what's really been happening and I always nod along to your posts, thank you.

Agree now about the control and inducing anger,fear, embarrassment and all the rest of it.

cannotseeaway - that also made me laugh - a poster on my thread when I was still in the thick of it advised me to get my key back/change the locks once ex had gone.

Saying 'you don't want to come back from work to find him on your couch, cock in hand' :)

That was a very action encouraging thought for me!

If the mental image of your "d"p with his cock in his hand makes you want to change the locks you can be pretty sure it's over.

He's apologetic hes hurt me again... he clearly has issues with what constitutes love I saw this earlier , I suspect its utterly wasted on him however.. Intimacy is a Complex Dance
In intimate relationships we are continually taking steps back and forth. We move toward someone, or away from them, based on what is going on inside of us, circumstances outside of us, and what is going on between us. As we go through this series of adjustments, the relationship develops a tempo. When we focus on what we are doing and what is around us, the dance can be beautiful and flowing, one that moves gracefully with us through our lives.''

I seem to fall for the wrong guy every time.... because I am highly sexed they seem to sense it on me... and Im always quick to see the best in people... im in my forties now and have been thru hell with men all my life.... sgb might recall me in a previous name , tyedye , mebbe not , its been a while , but im sure we have shared threads before.... and yes , were he to come onto me now Id recoil... he's wrecked it :(

''I'm in, tired and head is whizzing so I'm going to go off comms and crash for a bit. If I try and talk now I'll just get excited again, don't want to browbeat you so I'll be in touch tomorrow and we can talk properly. Hope you get some sleep and talk soon'' ....... thats what I get , while he goes and gets stoned and feels sorry for himself....... he confessed he plied me with wine the other night so i'd be more likely to fuck , and apparently , the depth of my hurt is hard for him to handle !!!!!! oh and his "excited"? is he will shout at me again for everything I am getting wrong in how i run MY life and how stressfull he finds it....

I know , this is a dv nightmare in the making.. I will go and deliver his belongings tomos and remove mine.... had enough of tears and feeling destroyed.

Aww, Littleblue (sorry everyone). There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a sex life, and this man;s shit is not your fault. Sometimes it almost seems like the sort of whiny, entitled, clammy bellends do more damage than the shouty furniture-smashing ones, because you almost feel foolish for minding how horrible they make you feel.

And Bibi: Hiya! I do remember you and Captain Crap... you are so well shot of him.

I have only now read this thread and it made me shiver at some points, as it was so similar to ex.
But you have only been with him 6 months and he's already behaving like this.

Hugs and hoping the dumping goes well.

You mentioned something about feeling alone, but there's nothing worse than being in the wrong company, as you well know. :(

Why in gods name i didnt see his liberal use of lusty emoticons in IM as a huge warning defies me.... and yes , his damage is more subtle that than the overtly abusive exe , when i confronted him on his silent treatment , he tried to plead that he found my back problems frustrating ,( he treats me) he didnt quite dare tell me I should have shed some weight by now , but thats where his mind was going.... he did , when shot down in flames , say that the quickest way to make him miserable was to purse my mouth when he tried to kiss me... fucks sake... i actually feel sick tbh

Thanks lueji , its been a fucking awful week , when id convinced myself I'd found the right relationship.... how wrong can you be , eh :(

littleblue,you are sorting it out, so now put the past behind you you've done well to get to this point, don't debate anymore about it ,move forward i wish you all the best for the future and have a happy life.

I know.. I got maudlin drunk last night , kinda needed to indulge the self pity and hurt... Im returning his belongings and closing the door on it today... I intend to suggest to him that an adult contact site would be more appropriate if he only wants a sexually based relationship...

and thanks... ;)

good luck today. thinking of you.x

Good luck, Littleblue.

Thanks , feel sick :(

....... I won't miss being called "Baby" tho , or his "sweetie" .... pukes

[vom] let this charmer go free to pester delight some other poor mug woman! And DH was horrified by this thread too. I.think SGB nailed it.

He's scared to talk today because we may end up hating/hurting each other... stable door/ bolted methinks... If he continues to be evasive , I will just pile over there.

What are you waiting for? You have told him it's finished, haven't you?

I think you should consider his feelings, kindly soul that you are. In order to spare him the hurt of seeing you and not being able to fuck you you should collect all his things and leave them tidily outside the door.

I would like my own clobber back tbh... ;)

Dealt with.

wow are you ok blue

kinda painfully relieved....we agreed actually that it was a trainwreck..