He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

That's an excellent way of putting it Annie, really crystilises things.

Strangely it was the ex's inability to put the cats needs ahead of his own which really helped me to see he was thoroughly incapable of putting any creatures needs above his own (after the excellent advice on MN of course)

No matter what, his wants and 'needs' came first even when faced with a pet ready to chew its own leg off in desperation for its dinner.

Oh no, not until Benny Hill had had his cup of tea and two hours of playstation.

Looking back it really was like living in a bad comedy sketch - I quickly learned not to reach for things on high shelves as that would signal a good old breast groping was in order or bending down with my butt in the air (bend ze knees was the order of the day for many years)

Rambling on here, tsk, Friday night and the first glass of are at fault :)

Oh god... 'Benny HIll' ..perfection , he only needs a hankie on his head... he turned up the other night and snuggled into me ,which was nice enough until a hand wandered up and gave my breast a very firm squeeze , bloody hurt and I flinched , he was all injured innocence until I asked him if he'd like it if someone suddenly gave one of his nads a rough squeeze when he wasnt expecting it...

I really don't want to hijack but Fuck Fuck Fuck this is all so depressingly familiar. I used to joke years ago with a friend that living in my house was like living in a never-ending episode of Benny Hill. I am not laughing now.

Strength and hugs to you littleblue, and also you other women going through the same. I have learnt from Mumsnet now this is not acceptable. Thank God.

Yep, i used to hear the theme music to Benny Hill in my head as I would literally scurry around our tiny house trying to escape the never ending advances.

Since its the weekend I've just remembered the Saturday morning duvet lift (this was performed every week without fail)

This involved him lifting up the duvet (while i was trying to just put his cup of tea down and escape again) followed by pointing at his 'morning glory' and asking if seeing that made me horny.

To think i used to feel guilty for thinking 'no, it doesn't WTF?' and blaming myself for not being instantly turned on.

I used to ask him often how he would feel if I just grabbed him roughly by the balls OP and the answer was always 'I'd love it'

Sadly, i think he was telling the truth there - I mean, what are you meant to say back to that?

I'd say you weren't gripping hard enough [evil]

Sorry... trying not to laugh , male genitalia in its erect state looks like an angry plucked turkey... I have male friends who say the same... you should have returned with a jug of hot gravy and dumped it on the whole shebang...inc his spuds :D and welcome women hijackers , the sexed up dads can sod off..unless they are actually going to LEARN something !! (doubtful) wow... just wow I had a relationship for 18 months before after the dv one... He got obsessed too , used to throw the duvet back , grip his dick , and look at it , and up at me with eyes I can only describe as like shreks cat.... theres me with a mug of coffee and the paper "what??" (lmao)

LOL @ Annie !!!!!

Bloody hell PMSL here @ angry plucked turkey, not gripping hard enough and the cat from Shrek

Ex actually presented me with a painting of puss in boots out of the blue one day. I'll never be able to look at it (stuffed out of sight at the top of the wardrobe as soon as he left) ever again!

The thing that pisses me off the most is that the constant groping and eventual raping (first time I've typed that ugly word but that's what it was a lot of time) left me feeling like a 'frigid' person who wasn't interested in affection or sex when nothing was further from the truth.

Reading this I feel normal for the first time in years, no joke. I have always felt like a sexual freak for being turned off by my DPs daily requests for a "willy squeeze".

I reckon these guys should write for hallmark... its the poetry and sensitivity that gets me... whats the highlight of their favourite film? Id wager it was The Money Shot....

If only they realised that a neck kiss (and doing the dishes first) were a far greater aphrodisiac than grabbing your parts , or grabbing your hand and placing it on theirs... sighs

Xpost Bibi, I am so sorry that you were made to feel that way, I know exactly what you mean. My DP always said he didn't want sex with me if I wasn't up for it, but he felt perfectly able to grope me and ask for it again and again and again. So confusing.

I am so sorry you were raped, I dont know what else to say

Oh and re rape..? forcing yourself on your partner , using coercion..yes , its rape...... so many men still feel entitled to help themselves to their partners bodies... fuckers

Oh no, I didn't use the r word to garner sympathy on someone else's thread.

MN made me realise that's what it was (long after the relationship ended) and I'm saying it out loud now because I'm finally really grasping that it's not my shame any longer and never was. Feels good!

:) writing for hallmark - yes to that! My friends and I still get a lot of laughs out of the classic foreplay line 'can I just stick it in?' Phwoar! Yeah, go on then you old charmer.

Oooh... melts can I have his number?

www.monkeyspanker.co.uk/ was amazed when dp turned up recently chuffed to bits cos the cockrings were on sale in the chemist , he bought 6... facepalms

Just butting in briefly to reassure all those who wonder whether all men are like this....I told dh about this thread and another one and he said 'Bloody hell. Now that's put me off sex for a week, I'd be too worried about being like one of those dicks!'

Normal men are out there. They want sex as a loving and reciprocal part of a healthy relationship, not as an entitlement.

Dh and I both enjoy sex, and both have the ability to switch off instantly if the other says sorry, not tonight.

That's normal.

SIX?

I just remembered storming out on the ex in the middle of a blowjob that he'd whined and guilted me for.

Well, he was just lying there like a corpse, eyes closed and not a sound and I got so angry at the fuckers selfishness I had to get away.

Stomped round the block to come back about 15 mins later to find him STILL naked in the same position on the bed (albeit flacid) waiting for act 2!

Quite a sense of entitlement me thinks :)

Its a timely reminder... I haven't yet fully binned dp yet , no...I'm a sod for thinking things thru and feeling right with a decision , whatever you may think of that... I havent seen him , but I have told him I don't see a way past this.. his response was to remind me of all the sexy talk from when we first got together and that he had been so thrilled to finally find someone with a sex drive that matched his... aah , so the fact that I am horribly hurt and upset at your behaviour means bloody nothing then..clearly... says it all doesn't it , and yes I know... ducks

Christ littleblue the man has the skin of a rhino and it is pretty obvious just from you last post he is never going to see what a twunt he has been. You will feel so much better once you dump him.

He got it last time... and said he would fully understand if I never saw him again..etc , I know its over , no worries... its just reconciling myself to the hurt im struggling with... he and i have been intensely close all along , this stuff only raised its head at intervals.. but clearly the rots there , and its done , im not being a wimp , just trying to be measured about how I deal with it...

Oh ! What an absolute tool he sounds. SO, no apology, no consideration, no understanding of the possibility of compromising, just an attempt to make you feel bad and guilty for not actually being that thrilled at having a cock randomly shoved up you.

I do actually think that, with a lot of these knobs, it isn't actually sex they want ie they are not in desperate need of an orgasm. What they are getting pleasure from is seeing you angry, confused, embarrassed, guilty and afraid.

You are not a wimp at all. It is a difficult thing to do and it was only a couple of days ago he was still your DP.

Just whatever you do don't let him wheedle his way back in, cock in hand