Don't know what to think.

[CherryPie3]

Last night my husband sat me down as he had something to tell me.

On Friday he went to his friends evening wedding reception. I was working at his mum's shop.
As he was leaving at 11:45pm a young girl that was attending someone else's wedding reception walked across the carpark explaining that she had no money and could he please take her into town to meet her friends. She was also on the phone to her friends explaining that she had no money.

Despite town being out of his way he took her as he didn't want to leave her stranded.

As he was driving she declared that he was gorgeous and placed her feet up on his dashboard. She then started using her fingers to pleasure herself and asked my dh to take her somewhere dark and private. Which he didn't, he explained he had to get back to the reception as he had left his friends there.

Upon arriving at town she asked him repeatedly to have sex with her, and was getting quite angry that he was refusing to. When she finally got out she punched my dh on the cheek and slammed the door.

My dh then went back to the wedding reception and didn't get home until 3am. He explained he was so late because his friends wanted taking home.

I was very calm while he was telling me as something similar happened to me twice before - not as disgusting but a 'friend' tried kissing me whilst I was dropping him off at home, he then sent me disgusting texts despite me telling him to take a run and jump! Another 'friend' tried to kiss me after a group night out.

I'm absolutely sickened by the whole thing and have been physically sick this morning because I had to drive his car on Saturday, completely oblivious that this woman had been sat in it pleasuring herself. I never ever want to set foot in that car again! She was sat where I normally would if dh was driving.

Now I'm thinking about it I have so many questions that don't make sense.

1. Why would she ask a stranger for help when she must have friends/family at the reception that could have helped her out?

2. Why did my husband go out of his way to help a stranger, knowing there must be other people she knows that would help her.

3. Why did he return to his friends afterwards instead of coming straight home.

4. Why didn't he explain he had a wife and 3 kids waiting for him at home instead of having to go back to his friends.

5. Why did he leave it until last night to tell me?

I am so confused and hurt and upset and angry and devastated.... I love my husband so much and I don't think he would ever, ever cheat on me but those questions are getting to me. I wish I could switch my brain off.
I'm very insecure at the best of times without this. I am a very wobbly size 24 lady and he says this girl was a slim girl with short blonde hair.

We have just recently celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary, he is 25, I am 27. Our children are 7, 6, 2yrs.

What should I be thinking? I'm sorry it's long.

I'm posting this when I've only read up to page five, so sorry if someone's already brought this up. But I dont believe that he randomly decided to leave early and then just so happened to meet this girl in the car park on his way out. And then, despite being at a massive do where she obviously knows people, she asks him for a lift. And then she just so happens to be overcome with lust and starts fingering herself in his car.

Why did he decide to leave early all of a sudden when he was supposed to be giving his mates a lift home later. Didnt they mind being stranded? Werent they bothered that they now had to spend taxi fare on getting home when they'd been relying on your DP? If he's the sort of person who'd do anything to help, why was he prepared to let them down so easily? And for no good reason?

And how convenient unlucky for him that he bumps into this girl who then turns sexual predator and then aggressor.

Sorry, but it sounds like a big made up lie. I think he's full of shit and covering his arse to stop it hitting the fan.

Can I add myself to the minority who believe him, please?

Imo she was clearly going to make sure it was a paid transaction once he'd said yes to the sex - that's why she didn't leave with someone she knew and why she was going to town despite having no cash - she was expecting to sleep with him on the way and make some! And that's why she was pissed off he said no and hit him.

The bit about going back to the wedding afterwards makes sense to me too, I imagine he was reeling a bit and not ready for bed.

Madonna, OP has said

he had promised them lifts but told them he wanted to leave and cancelled those said lifts. After the woman was dropped off he says he was shaking and wanted to tell his friend and calm down before driving home

OPs DH then chatted with bride and groom at the bar, gave the promised lifts, and was home by 3.

OP - thinking of you, hoping tonight's talk goes well for you.

Can I just say OP that I really have everything crossed for you

It sounds like you and your DH are sensible people with a solid marriage and I hope it's all just as he said.

Good luck! xx

So he had decided to leave early. Then gave this person a lift. Then went back to the Reception and stayed till three o'clock. That is a very tall tale indeed. . Sorry.

Dh was approached by very sexually aggressive women on a number of occasions back when he had a very high paid job.

Nothing to do with his looks I don't think, as he looks much better now that he is not doing a crappy city job, but since he doesn't spend time at expensive venues where rich bankers hang out it has never happened again.

It is a fairly common strategy which quite a lot of rich bankers fall for. Offer easy sex, preferably to a married man (does your dh wear a wedding ring?) and then demand lots of money to not tell the wife.

I know all women are supposed to be pure and holy and all men bastards on MN, but unfortunately reality is a bit more mixed.

Dunno, still doesn't ring true to me. Why wait two days to tell you? I think the truth of this is in the post...

Short post...

Everything is as fine as can be at the minute. The talk went well, lots of tears on both sides.

I believe him. I really believe he is innocent. You can tell in someones eyes, there was nothing but truth.

Have not read all the posts, but thank you to those that contributed, I will update more when I get chance.

Thank you all so much. xxx

Discrete - dh is too in a well paid job, and no his wedding ring is awaiting resizing so he doesn't wear it at the moment.

Sounds like he is covering himself in readiness for the police knocking on the door. It's a disbelieve from me.

Sorry

Glad it went OK, Cherry, and hope you both can feel better soon

Actually got some sleep last night!

We both feel tonnes better now the air is cleared. It was so clear to me last night that he had done nothing wrong. He feels humiliated and incredibly foolish for letting a stranger into his car. As I pointed out to him, she could have had needles or anything hidden in her purse/bag.

Anyway, if had said that I didn't believe him, that would mean I didn't trust him. If I were to start not trusting him now means I would never trust him again iyswim?
It would spiral downwards pretty quickly.

So I had to give him the benefit of the doubt here, and I'm so glad.

Booking the car in for a bloody good valet today though!!!

That woman is still going to plague my head for many months, but that's for me to deal with now.

I really cannot thank you all enough for yesterday. Really helped get things clearer.

xxx

I should add - we did ring the police, they are not interested. They said the CCTV would have been wiped from the town centre by now although we don't know about the hotel. They were doubly not interested when we advised we don't know who this girl is or how to contact her.

They did ask if dh had sought medical treatment, which of course he didn't as it wasn't necessary.

For those that would not believe their husbands had they been placed in my position, I would advise a little trust goes a long way. As small a situation as this was, it could have broken our marriage if I had broken my trust in him.

Fortunately as many of you lovely ladies pointed out, I do know my husband and I know how good natured he is. He was utterly heartbroken when he saw how upset I was yesterday evening.

As far as I'm concerned now, it's completely put to bed. It's an unfortunate incident that happened but it's done and dusted.
Although I have warned him that the outcome would be very different if he EVER gave a strange woman (or man!) a lift again and placed himself in that position again. I would be the one slapping/punching him!

I'm so glad that you talked it through and cleared the air. It does sound very plausible to me and I would have believed my DH too.

Best of luck x

The police not interested when your husband was assaulted by this person. That does seem very surprising indeed.

So pleased cherry. He sounds like a lovely husband

Shocking from the police - couldn't be bothered with the paper work by the sounds of it - imagine if a man had done this to a woman and they didn't do anything - I don't believe the CCTV would have been wiped they obviously just couldn't be arsed to look into it. G

I don't believe the police were disinterested in this.

Though I suspect the OP's husband claimed he made the call to them and reported that version of events.

Did you or your husband speak to the police Cherry?

Cherrypie, I'm glad you have resolved things with dh and are feeling happier. Just a small point though - if someone does kiss/cuddle/do more with a stranger, they are the ones breaking trust. Not their spouse or partner. No-one whose spouse or partner has behaved badly should blame themselves for not trusting the cheater.

You have to keep cctv footage for a min. of 28 days.

I cannot believe that the police were not interested in this. And I absolutely cannot believe that this girl just started 'playing with herself' and then attacked your husband. Now, I suppose it's not an impossibility that is did occur but sorry - it's still a disbelieve from me.

A little trust may well go a long way but I'd put money on the fact that he is bullshitting you. And I'm sorry about that.

Were you there when he made the call to the police? I know for a fact that they wouldn't have said they weren't interested. It wouldn't happen. So someone is lying...

Yes I was in the same room, watched him dial the number etc. I heard him answering all the questions and everything.

They really weren't interested at all.

You didn't hear their responses then? You didn't speak to them yourself then?

I'd ask to speak to a different police officer if I were you, because you're being lied to at worst and at best, your husband was very lucky that he got someone who doesn't know police policy on this issue.

The police would be interested in this and will follow it up, I assure you. If your husband was telling the truth about any of this, he would also instantly report it as an assault.