Don't know what to think.

[CherryPie3]

Last night my husband sat me down as he had something to tell me.

On Friday he went to his friends evening wedding reception. I was working at his mum's shop.
As he was leaving at 11:45pm a young girl that was attending someone else's wedding reception walked across the carpark explaining that she had no money and could he please take her into town to meet her friends. She was also on the phone to her friends explaining that she had no money.

Despite town being out of his way he took her as he didn't want to leave her stranded.

As he was driving she declared that he was gorgeous and placed her feet up on his dashboard. She then started using her fingers to pleasure herself and asked my dh to take her somewhere dark and private. Which he didn't, he explained he had to get back to the reception as he had left his friends there.

Upon arriving at town she asked him repeatedly to have sex with her, and was getting quite angry that he was refusing to. When she finally got out she punched my dh on the cheek and slammed the door.

My dh then went back to the wedding reception and didn't get home until 3am. He explained he was so late because his friends wanted taking home.

I was very calm while he was telling me as something similar happened to me twice before - not as disgusting but a 'friend' tried kissing me whilst I was dropping him off at home, he then sent me disgusting texts despite me telling him to take a run and jump! Another 'friend' tried to kiss me after a group night out.

I'm absolutely sickened by the whole thing and have been physically sick this morning because I had to drive his car on Saturday, completely oblivious that this woman had been sat in it pleasuring herself. I never ever want to set foot in that car again! She was sat where I normally would if dh was driving.

Now I'm thinking about it I have so many questions that don't make sense.

1. Why would she ask a stranger for help when she must have friends/family at the reception that could have helped her out?

2. Why did my husband go out of his way to help a stranger, knowing there must be other people she knows that would help her.

3. Why did he return to his friends afterwards instead of coming straight home.

4. Why didn't he explain he had a wife and 3 kids waiting for him at home instead of having to go back to his friends.

5. Why did he leave it until last night to tell me?

I am so confused and hurt and upset and angry and devastated.... I love my husband so much and I don't think he would ever, ever cheat on me but those questions are getting to me. I wish I could switch my brain off.
I'm very insecure at the best of times without this. I am a very wobbly size 24 lady and he says this girl was a slim girl with short blonde hair.

We have just recently celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary, he is 25, I am 27. Our children are 7, 6, 2yrs.

What should I be thinking? I'm sorry it's long.

Thank you so much to everyone who believes my dh. It's so good to hear!!

BigFatLegs - Proud? Goodness me, I just can't imagine someone having standards low enough to do it. I don't think this is anything he will ever do again. I have told him I will be so disappointed and upset if he did. It will be reception next time, should there be a next time.

BitOut - it is rather far fetched isn't it? Stories aren't something my dh is good at. I've never known him lie (apart from to his mum when he's off to Asda because she always wants EVERYTHING). But that doesn't count!

RingMyBell - He is a nice man, I'm glad I managed to paint him properly as I am notoriously crap with words. He's really lovely and kind to everybody. Which is why this is so out of the norm for him.

No need to actually report it, just make out that you are.

FlyingSquirrel - I'm so sorry you've been through a similar thing, hope you're ok! :)

I'm trying not to distrust him. He sounded quite torn up on the phone about the fact that I'm upset about it. I don't think he expected me to be upset today when I was so calm last night as he was telling me.
We even sat down and watched X-Factor recordings afterwards (we still haven't caught up...we're only just at bootcamp!).

God, I really hope this one turns out to have a happy ending

I would definitely tell him to report it. There will be CCTV at the hotel and in town for the police to follow up. If he is innocent, he won't be worried about them pulling up any CCTV footage.

It IS assault. And if this woman is doing this regularly, then the hotel needs to inform their guests and police need to inform the public so men can be aware, just as they would if it was a man doing this to women. If this is true, then he needs to act on it and report it. Then you will know whether it is true or not.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm - shouldn't we report it anyway as this girl could potentially turn around and say dh attacked her, dumped her in the middle of town...

I don't want dh to end up in trouble because of some silly little girl.

MrsDWho - I agree with everything you said!!!

I agree about possibly reporting it, once you've spoken to him. Not to try and get her arrested, but to tell someone what happened in advance of her possibly panicking and calling the police.
hope you're ok :)

Absolutely Cherry. You don't know what kind of trouble this girl may have got into later that night, behaving that way, and if the police are already involved in anything they'll be interested in her whole night and who she was with and where from the get go. ie your husband at one point (hope he's learned his lesson about strangers!:))

Better to go to them - and if they're not interested then, well, you've done the right thing anyway.

Nice men can still do silly/bad things...... non of us is all pure good or pure evil, life's not that simple - this all sounds plausible OP but equally you need to make sure every last piece fits together. My DH is the last person anyone would imagine cheating but I wouldn't trust him or anyone else blindly as I believe EVERYONE has the potential to stray given the right (or wrong) circumstances.

I agree, even the nicest person could make a cock up with a judgement call, just one of those things.

But I would push for him to report it.

Good luck, and I do hope for your sake that he is telling the truth. I shall pop back later to check on any developments.

I can see where you are both coming from, I will report back with more info once I have spoken to him. Praying everything slots together like it should, I'll be quite broken if it doesn't.

I will be pushing for it reporting and also for the CCTV coverage. If he really dropped her off where he said he did then there are many cameras covering that area.

Thanks so much everyone. I've got a fresh list of questions ready to reel off to him and suggestions to make also.

I'd believe him, too.

Let's say he did pick the girl up for sex. Why would he then make up this detailed story to tell you? If it was because someone had spotted them in the car together and he was worried it would get back to you, he would've surely just said he gave her a lift into town.

Good luck OP x

Thank you spondulix :)

I would call his bluff and tell him he needs to report the assault (punch on the face) to the police.

If he won't, there's your answer.

But you're marriage is clearly not as open and honest if you believe given that it took him two days to tell you what happened

You need to think about why he didn't tell you straight away and why he is choosing to tell you now.

I'm afraid the answer is fairly simple. It's bull.

I'm not surprised it took him two days to tell OP. If it's true, then he was probably feeling very shocked and humiliated, and didn't know what to say or how to tell her.

I agree flim - It would be shocking and humiliating. Poor man.

The answer isn't fairly simple at all. Everyone reacts differently to different situations. You can't simply just judge because one has dealt with a situation differently than you would have.

Personally, I don't blame him for not being sure whether to tell. Even if he had straight away, and the OP came on here straight away, people would still be calling it bull as it does seem far fetched, yet not impossible. Women can behave like this, many in fact. We can be just as nasty, and vicious as men can be and men can also be vulnerable, and attacked. Sexually and physically.

This woman needs reporting, if it is indeed true. But if it is, you can't blame the bloke for not wanting to speak out. Many women who are raped don't speak out straight away. Does that make them liars because they hesitated?

Cherry, I would believe him too. It seems so bizarre that it's unlikely he would have made it up, and I can understand why he was shaken and didn't come straight home as he probably didn't know what to tell you and wouldn't have been able to sleep straight away. Plus everything you've said about the way he told you and the way he normally is with people - he sounds like a good guy.

Let's hope he's learned his lesson about letting strangers in his car though ;)

Oh fgs, now this woman is accused of 'crying rape'?!

Look, the most likely explanation is the dh is a lying tosser who tried it on and got knocked back. All this 'the truth is stranger than fiction' nonsense is just that. His story's so full of holes it would put a colander to shame. Why is it so

oops, meant to add, why is it so easy to overlook the most obvious explanation in favour of throwing insults at a woman no-one on this thread has ever met?

Yes, edam, because no woman has ever cried rape, have they?

All women are innocent who need protecting from all the big bad men in the world, obviously.

It is because of those women who do, that I never spoke up for a while. Many, many women do cry rape. Not that I think this woman would, as I wouldn't know from a bit of information on the internet, but let us not pretend that it isn't possible. Or that the DHs story isn't possible either. Men can be just as vulnerable as women, even if women in general are more vulnerable. Doesn't stop men from being victims, too.

Why is it the most obvious explanation? And correct me if I am wrong, but you are also over looking the possibility of the OPs DH story being true, a man who you also have never met, in favour of some woman, who you also haven't met, who quite possibly could of done this. It isn't unheard of.

Well i would say yes, report it, but my gut feeling is that it will only take for you to mention doing it, and you'll be back on here telling us the real truth when he's told you it.