Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

[watchoutforthatsnail]

:)

Kirsty I would at least be curious at to who he was...go on, text him!

Actually parsley, what I thought was that even when I'm trying to distract myself from Mr60 he crops up! Not really interested in NYboy anyway.

I am deliberately keeping my search to fairly local...don't want to have to be in a relationship only to have to decide who's gonna move two years down the line. This is my 26th home, and I'd like to keep it a little longer, and I am quite content living here. I have ended up moving for Menz before, then been stranded when it all goes Pete Tong. That's how I ended up here, stranded, half way through university. But I stayed, got my degree, then didn't want to move. Also, I am half way between the two Grandmothers, so daren't move really!
Re Mr60... do you have the time to spare, or will it potentially stop you moving on and finding something else that will be better? You may be quite a bit younger than me, but at my age, to be blunt, I don't feel I've got the time to waste..

Ha, Yoga, I am 10 yrs further on you in age...I never thought I would be single at my stage, so I am trying not to waste time, while concentrating on not being desperate!

Parsley NYboy isn't actually in NY - we are both originally from there and currently living in Scotland (like you I picked up and moved my life for a man, now XH, but have made my home here). I'm just not particularly interested in him other than as a pen-pal, fun to compare notes about where to get good pizza and bagels! The Mr60 story is a long one (although distance plays a part in it too -the 60 stands for 60 miles). Not going to go through the whole thing but the bottom line is I probably need to just get over him and move on (but I really don't want to and keep hanging on whatever scraps I get). Which is NOT GOOD.

Ok, I getz ya. I am too old for mind games, so I hope that I will be able to avoid them in the future. FW played them for 20 yrs, so all burnt out there really.

So what do you need us to say to stop you doing the Horizontal Lambada with Mr 60?

Also, re OD, I need to just check in with the site once a day, or less maybe. I get all excited when i get an email from Match, and it is a Time Thief...

Kirsty - that's really intriguing . . . You've got to find out who it is!

Yoga - well, no harm in chatting with NYBoy as a distraction, but maybe you need to take it easy for a while and give yourself a bit of time to get over Mr60.

Parsley - dry, deadpan and very funny, easily misunderstood as sarcasm or grumpiness. I love being back up in the north, no idea how I lasted almost twenty years away. Another big benefit of being free of the ex (who was a big southern jessie). Honestly, I wouldn't worry about disappearing men. It's probably nothing to do with you or your picture and more something going on with him. I have had more success on PoF than anywhere else (plus it's free) but you do have to be very selective!

Came to work with a big grin on today, feeling really positive about things after last night and can't stop thinking about the bugger. He is lovely. Don't think the ex stuff is going to be a problem, he left his phone in the car last night (without me asking), he's started off the divorce proceedings, and some other bits and pieces. Seems like he has now made up his mind to move on and it's working.

That's all good Western...I think I will feel better when all the financials are sorted, and I can apply for the Absolute.

Yes, I'm just trying to sort out the final bit of nonsense with ex (sale of rental property which he is deliberately making difficult by not signing paperwork etc) and that will be an end to that and such a relief. It can be difficult to keep yourself motivated to go through all the rigmarole with someone who's being difficult, but now the end is in sight for me I so wish I'd got it sorted earlier. Do you think it will be long for you to get sorted?

western- thats all good then :) sounds like its moving in the right direction :) when are you seeing him next?

kirsty, oh, you must text, could be anything, quite exciting.

yoga - just chatting to NY is fine,and and a nice distraction :) have you heard about that job yet?

madame- yeah, i hear you. snape is right, i couldnt date anyone if the sex is bad. im hoping that by holding out for a while, at the very least we will be emotionally connected, so it will be good. And im very excited about seeing him wed :)

oh and snape - good luck for hearing re house stuff

West I don't know...I'm hoping not long, as we have agreed in principle, and I got him to sign a letter to confirm arrangements. But either him or his solicitor is dragging it out, and it could be either. He's such a liar there's no point asking him

Watch - if it feels right then just go with it. Any relationship is a risk.

Kirsty - I would text and find out because it would do my head in trying to guess!

I am still tentatively seeing younger man. He is very considerate and sweet. But I doubt it will be a long lasting thing and that's okay with me. I don't want anything serious with anyone, it's just too much hassle! Light hearted and fun works for me.

fate -thats good, all relationships dont have to end up being serious. light and fun is also good :)

its not like ive promised to marry him or anything, just that its clear we are both heading in the same direction, and both want to head in that direction, which is nice.

Right. I am narked about the dissapearances from Match, when they have been on line. Two dissapeared, with no message, one sent me a Kiss Off. I have politely messaged them, saying if my size is an issue, this is info clearly available on the profile, and would save messing about. Maybe I could just have left it, but it's not my fault if they DON'T BLOODY READ STUFF. It might not have been weight related, but I am not ugly, and more attractive than at least two of these guys. Who do they think they are, toying me with my feelings and time

parsley speaking as a person who was been referred to as 'obese' by someone I was messaging (I'm a 14/16 ) I think you just have to rise above it and write it off as their issue. the reason so many of the same men are on dating sites month after month year after year is that (whilst no oil painting themselveS) they are searching for some perfect ideal (whether in looks, figure or personality) which they will never find, and in the process will reject many many lovely women.

They are the ones with the problem! It is irritating I know, but just part of the rich tapestry complete mindf*ck that is online dating :)

I agree sponge but I do feel better having politely messaged. Then I blocked and ran off

Big s for watch & western!

watch - chatting to NY is fine for me except he seems a little too keen and don't want to encourage him beyond just chatting. He was disappointed last night when he noticed I turned off the IM thing on OKC - told him the little pink flashing box was doing my head in.

parsley - the whole OD thing can be absolutely infuriating at times! (As far as Time theif goes though, i think MN has something to answer for... ). Not so much that Mr60 is playing mind games with me as that I'm letting him. When I tell him to f-off and leave me alone he does. But then I go back, start chatting and he responds exactly as expected. So no one to blame but myself really.

parsley - meh, i wouldnt have bothered. This might sound harsh, but its true, and true for us too. We cant berate someone, or have a go at them/ be angry, if they dont fancy us. Same as if we didnt fancy a man and he had a go, we would call him a knob :)

attraction is a difficult thing, and varies for people, some people are all looks, some like material things, some like personality. or other combos or things.

So what if some are shallow they have rejected you based on looks, you might have rejected them based on something else.

Its just par of the course.

Every email and message is not going to lead to a date. Infact most wont. Most dates dont lead to a relationship ( which is why we all get so very excited if someone gets past a first date!!)

Stick you pic online, and go message some men you like the look of :)

yoga - why does he seeem too keen, or is it just because hes not mr60 :)

Parsley I understand entirely. I sent something suitably terse to the bloke who called me obese, and felt much better for doing so :)

I think you asked upthread about ScaredofPeas - the precis is that we had a date back in August. His name comes from the fact that (despite being a 6ft+ burly bloke, which makes it even funnier...) he told me on our date that he has a major aversion to peas and would cry if he was forced to eat one. He has similar feelings towards most vegetables, and quite a lot of fruit, including mango, which he 'doesn't get on with'

The day after our date he text me a cockshot , and I then heard nothing from him til the other day when he randomly text me...

Parsely I think that some of the guys do a sort of 'bulk buy'/trawl and don't actually bother with the details. I was on a site where you were able to send 'Icebreakers' - so you just picked an age range and a radius and bombarded all in that section with an anonymous message!! Never sent one and never answered one either. :) Sponge is right, it's them, not you. Just rise above it. My very wise friend says OD is a game of number - just wish I knew WHICH number! Hugs.

Bit shocked today to get a nice message from a chap - who LIVES IN THE SAME VILLAGE AS ME!! Eeeeeek! (It's a small village!) I'm thinking that, if we do date, that'll be the end of me rushing to the corner shop looking shocking! In addition, from the photo he has posted, I'm pretty sure he's actually on the same estate as me (all the houses are the same). Trying not to over think the whole thing.

Thanks all...does he seem pleasant Eie? You know, one head and a pulse...

pie - you have had a lot of dates too.... i had 60 ish. by that point i was seriously beginning to doubt myself. So, maybe the numbers around there??!!
do some stalking on your local man!

parsley - also - like we said, lots of them dont read profiles at all.....

You do need a thick skin on OD Parsely! If they are that shallow, you wouldn't be even vaguely interested in them. Yes, he seems nice - he can spell and his grammar is good (Am I too picky or does anyone else notice these things?) and, as far as I can see from the photo, even has all his own limbs - always a bonus! No motorbike and not pictured holding a bloody fish! Had a message from another chap but declined - then tried to think why? It was because he had teeth like my ex husband!