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Original poster

Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 28/09/2012 10:14

:)

OP posts:
putthelimeinthecoconut · 02/10/2012 13:57

doing Thank you that's a very good idea, I think I'll do that. Sounds like you found a good one. Did you message him first? how long were you chatting before meeting?
watch I guess that's the good thing about POF, plenty of traffic. I think I will give okc a go and stay on POF with a hidden profile, my messages seem to be tailing off a bit though, which is a good thing I think Confused

snapespeare · 02/10/2012 14:30

yoga just when i thought I had read everything... Grin

'...some sources describe the artwork as disturbing' (!) Shock

hatesponge · 02/10/2012 14:57

lime what I would say is irrespective of what site you're on, it really is all down to luck, there's no science to it. hence there's no right or wrong way to go about it tbh, yes don't waste time feeling you have to reply to every message, but unfortunately however you weed men out there's no guarantee of finding one that's even half decent (or if he is, that it will go anywhere beyond a first date). Sorry to sound cynical about it, but that's what years of internet dating does to you... :)

Yogagirl17 · 02/10/2012 15:24

Snape - Personally I wouldn't say it was disturbing. Different maybe, thought provoking, interesting... It's basically a love story told through a series of letters and postcards but each page is designed to look like an actual handwritten letter or card with drawings on every page and the letters actually come out of the envelopes. Haven't found anything for myself yet but here's a quote for you, from Tom Robbins' Jitterbug Perfume: "The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being. The difference between love and logic is that in the eyes of a lover, a toad can be a prince, whereas in the analysis of a logistician the lover would have to prove that the toad was a prince, an enterprise destined to dull the shine of many a passion."

DoingItForMyself · 02/10/2012 17:05

Lime I was actually supposed to meet another guy, but while browsing I saw this one and popped him in my favourites, not realising that he would know that!

He sent me a message saying "Hi, I'm xx. I agree with lots of your likes/dislikes particularly xxx. I'm not sure how much can be learned from messages, perhaps we could meet for a coffee to see how we get on."

I explained that I was booked up to go out with the other guy and didn't think it was right to see 2 people at the same time, but if the other one was a nutter I'd let him know and we could meet up. He said he liked my principles and hoped the other guy was a nutter so he'd get to meet me! As it happened I was ill with a horrible cold-y virus, cancelled the other guy and once I was better I said I'd taken the opportunity to switch it around and would like to meet him first.

Best virus ever!!!

We sent a couple more messages about when/where to meet etc, but I didn't want to get into chatting a lot in case I ran out of things to say when I met him. As it happens that has not been a problem as we have talked about literally everything from marriage, kids, hobbies, music, class A drugs, holidays, exes, porn, bum sex, cars...! Its like I've known him forever - in fact I feel like I know him better already than I ever knew my STBXH!

DoingItForMyself · 02/10/2012 17:06

Yoga, that quote is great and illustrates quite clearly why myself & STBXH (the ultimate logistician) were never suited!

putthelimeinthecoconut · 02/10/2012 17:40

sponge I'm already cynical and that's without the years of online dating lol. I'm starting to wonder if I'm cut out for this, going on a date with someone I've never met seems like the scariest idea ever!

That's a lovely story doing Smile I wonder what would have happened if you hadn't had that virus?! It's great that you've found someone who you get on so well with, certainly sounds like you can talk about everything! Grin

Yogagirl17 · 02/10/2012 17:40

Doingit could say the same for my XH!

Yogagirl17 · 02/10/2012 19:08

Bored on the sofa, going to have a wee peak at OKC, not been on for a few weeks.

OhWesternWind · 02/10/2012 19:12

Help massive case of butterflies!! Ready to go in less than an hour, still got a child to get to bed, nails and make up to do, get changed and do a quick tidy of my car as I'm giving him a lift. Help!!

NicholasTeakozy · 02/10/2012 19:16

You'll be fine Western. :)

Yogagirl17 · 02/10/2012 19:21

Relax, Western & have fun!!!

putthelimeinthecoconut · 02/10/2012 19:48

Have a good time Western Smile

snapespeare · 02/10/2012 19:49

Thanksyoga!. :) it's a bit... Umm. Direct ('you're a frog!).

Just found this...

'It is so rare...to find a complete person, with a soul, a heart and an imagination; so rare for characters as ardent and restless as ours to meet and to be matched together, that I hardly know how to tell you what happiness it gives me to know you. --Hector Berlioz,

With that, I have ten left. That's doable in just under three weeks!

Have been contemplating what I say when I hand it over again.... And conscious that this could all go irretrivably shit-shaped (wobble!). At the moment it's 'other people do mix-tapes, I do this. Well, you always said you were visual' (because I can imagine river song saying it...)

snapespeare · 02/10/2012 20:08

WESTERN!!!!!!!

You go girl.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 02/10/2012 20:19

oooh, good luck western :)

puppy being nice was short lived as he has managed to annoy me already!
Was seeing him friday, have plans sat nnight with pirate. Told puppy this who was all ' oh, i was hoping to stay at yours sat night, i want to go see this band and thought i could stay at yours after, and between my guitar session on the sat day time and when the gig starts' ( didnt even ask if i would like to go to the gig.....)
FFS.
This comes a week after me telling him it all feels a bit one sided from my side. Ive told him im not sure what the plan is sat, but sure as hell what he wants to happen isnt happening. On the plus side it give me a valid reason for dumping and one that he can understand.

OP posts:
NicholasTeakozy · 02/10/2012 20:26

I like that Berlioz quote Snape, it's lovely and fits perfectly.

You're right Watch, it gives you a great reason to bin, trying to walk over you like that.

Worley · 02/10/2012 20:37

I have an old school friend I chat to occasionally and today he emailed and we had a little email chat and he admitted to now dating someone :( (I've had a crush on him since primary school.. we're now mid 30's..)
and half way through out chat when I was telling him about past two blokes I'd met he accidentally added a clients email address into our conversation and forwarded her our conversation !!!! thankgod I don't j ow who his client is but he is so embarrassed... I think it was karma... he shouldn't have been chatting to me if he has been dating someone and I told him so.. made my evening though. she emailed him back and said I don't think this is meant for me!! ha ha

snapespeare · 02/10/2012 20:40

Get rid!!! watch. Please.

Puppy thinks you're his gf. You're going on speculative dates with the pirate. I know you haven't really had the 'exclusive' discussion, but it looks a bit ...awkward. Take the opportunity, bin his ass and drink rum with the pirate

Lueji · 02/10/2012 20:53

Watch.
Sigh.

Do it already. :)

PS - Now he wants to stay at yours? Shock At his convenience...

AndLibbyMakesThree · 02/10/2012 20:56

Worley, a similar thing happened to me. Years ago I went on a date with someone. After the date he e-mailed his friend to tell him how the date had gone ... but accidentally copied me in on the e-mail as well. He was apparently mortified when he realised what he'd done, and frantically tried to recall the e-mail, but it was too late.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 02/10/2012 21:14

there is going to be rum on saturday, with the pirate, so...... :)

i am annoyed, how dare he really. hes off on an important course on monday, and away for a week, ill do it when he gets back. Id feel awful if he failed the course due to me.

we sort of did have the exclusive talk, i wouldnt confirm either way.....

OP posts:
KirstyWirsty · 02/10/2012 21:23

Ah well so much for my wild 3rd date and first post breakup shag!!

There had been a few alarm bells ringing after the first date which I ignored as I fancied the pants off of him .. This morning he was being a total doom and gloom merchant (which I can't stand .. If you are not happy do something about it!!) in texts about his living arrangements (been staying with a pal who now wants him to leave)and work so we arranged to meet for coffee to discuss .. Anyhow he has decided that I am 'too delicate' and not ready to have just fun after I told him about my almost sexless marriage and he doesn't want me to get hurt and we both agreed timing isn't right as I am still sorting financial separation while staying at mum's ..

I guess I am still not ready for this stuff as I saw the red flags but carried on .. And today I thought he was too much hassle but didn't want to upset him when he was down and he ended up finishing with me!!

Yogagirl17 · 02/10/2012 21:38

Sorry Snape - maybe save that one for your first anniversary? Wink

hatesponge · 02/10/2012 21:50

Kirsty it's rubbish when that happens! You've reminded me years ago I had this sort of on-off thing with a guy at work, he was chasing me for ages and I was never 100% on him. We went out a couple of times and I wasn't sure but thought as he seemed so keen and chased me for so long I couldn't bin him off straight away. And I ignored various alarm bells like the fact he used to drive the work van home drunk , only for HIM then to tell me it was over (it never really started) cos he'd met someone else Hmm I remember being really upset - not due to it ending, but more that I'd wasted time on someone I didn't really like, and that I'd tried to spare his feelings when he clearly didn't give a shit about mine!

watch hurray for rum with the pirate on Saturday. I'm not going to nag you re the annoying puppy everyone else has already done it for me you know what you need to do :)

I thought about dating again earlier. And literally felt sick at the thought of waiting for a postfirstdate call or text. It is going to be a LONG time before I can face going back to it.