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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

For VSM

122 replies

Evansmum · 27/12/2003 13:42

Hope you are OK. Just sending you positive thoughts - you are an amazing woman and mother!

OP posts:
nutcracker · 27/12/2003 22:13

We went last year, kids had awhale of a time. I'm not a snob either but i know what you mean. We went to skegness one and would never go again but have also been to minehead one and that was o.k.

verysadmum · 27/12/2003 22:21

They're fully booked this week....
Minehead have a space for 2-5 Jan at £150... not sure.
If I'm going to go I think it has to be tomorrow...

Okay I'm going to have to ask someone else...

Roscoe · 27/12/2003 22:22

Maybe a guest-house type place would be quieter and cheaper.

verysadmum · 27/12/2003 22:26

That's what I was originally thinking. I really don't know of any...

I've just sent a text to a friend asking...

StarryStressyHead · 27/12/2003 23:12

Hi VSM, just to say I as thinking of you on Christmas Day and hoping it wasn't too awful for you. You have been so brave and so strong. Think the PMA is excellent. Wish I could apply that sometimes for my very trivial issues! Keep going and 2004 will be better for you

StarryStressyHead · 27/12/2003 23:12

Hi VSM, just to say I was thinking of you on Christmas Day and hoping it wasn't too awful for you. You have been so brave and so strong. Think the PMA is excellent. Wish I could apply that sometimes for my very trivial issues! Keep going and 2004 will be better for you

verysadmum · 27/12/2003 23:22

Thank you StarryStressyHead! I'm amazed at how many people were thinking of me, it's a very nice feeling.

My Christmas Day was okay -ish. Boxing Day wasn't too good. I posted all about it on "Is anyone else feeling sad?" or something under chat..

H is moving back in tomorrow... wow that week went fast.

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 16:08

Just a good update...

I've spoken to H...

he was being completely denial again and insisting that I was completely over reacting. I told him that I wasn't.
I told him that he had physically hurt me and there was absolutely no excuse for what he had done.
I reminded him that he hadn't only hurt me on quite a number of occassions but he was also taking out his short fuse of ds too.
I told him that I couldn't trust him enough to stay under the same roof together.

He started crying...

I continued (seizing the opportunity and feeling an empowered woman) and told him in no uncertain terms that if he insisted on coming back here and remaining here (not trying to find somewhere else) that I WOULD get him removed legally.

He continued to cry... insisting that he'll give up alcohol in the new year...

I told him that he had broken my trust already by seriously assulting me and then continuing to drink and hurting me again (to a lesser degree) and hurting ds...
I said I honestly didn't think I could trust him again and I refused to give him the opportunity to do so (fighting back my own tears so he couldn't hear).

He begged me to try again. I said definitely not, esp if he insists on trying to live with us whilst trying to work through HIS problems.

He said he would get help... I said good, but don't do it for me - do it for you.
He said he is still going to come back later and talk to me to try and sort this out and hung up..

He called back a couple of hours later to say that he has somewhere to stay for 2 weeks. A distant friend of mine that knows my sister, called round the flat after seeing someone was there.. to find H in tears (according to h anyway). She said that he could house sit for her since she is off on holiday herself in the morning. So he is moving in there later on.

I am hugely relieved. It is far from ideal (i.e. a friend of MINE) but good. I couldn't have hoped for a better, immediate solution.

Just one more week until the solicitors reopen...

popsycal · 28/12/2003 16:10

VSM - wow!!!!!!
You are so brave and amazing!!!
I am speechless about how fantastic this is!!!

SenoraPostrophe · 28/12/2003 16:12

well done!

nutcracker · 28/12/2003 16:12

Well done VSM - So proud of you, wish i had half as much courage as you

Lisa78 · 28/12/2003 16:16

VSM that is really fantastic news, its a step on the right road, WELL DONE to you for being so strong; keep going and keep posting, we're all here for you!
Go girl, go!

Lisa78 · 28/12/2003 16:16

Nutcracker, you'll make your decision in your own time, not a matter of courage

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 16:18

Thank you I am trying my best..

I still feel guilty about doing this to h though.. I know I shouldn't and he brought it on himself but I do..

happynewbeetroot · 28/12/2003 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Roscoe · 28/12/2003 16:23

Just read your post and annoyed dh by shouting "YES!" at the screen over and over. Well done! You really stood up to him and didn't fall for any of his lines. At least you have a couple of weeks to take a breather. Well done. xxx

nutcracker · 28/12/2003 16:23

Nothing to feel guilty about as far as i can see.

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 16:25

Thank you again

Know any locksmiths???

sobernow · 28/12/2003 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 28/12/2003 17:23

You go, girl!

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 17:32

Go great that I've just agreed he can come over... I've put a time limit on it though. 6-8.30pm. He is desperate to see the children and... oh I don't bl**dy know why...

Must get deleting history in case he wants to use the pc...

s**t!

Festivefly · 28/12/2003 17:34

How are you, and how was christmas?

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 17:35

Okay - ish.

Have posted it all on the "Is any else feeling sad today?" thread...

Have had a good day today though...

verysadmum · 28/12/2003 17:36

and you? how was your Christmas?

Festivefly · 28/12/2003 17:40

Alright glad its over, another milestone, also ds2 birthday yesderday, but no contact, he has told my dad he will not be seeing them until i ring, so no money or presents off him. I hope it's not been to painful seeing him, you can be proud you've conquered the most difficult day of the year