Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

linguistic help needed - what do you call your man's love tool?

51 replies

YogaLite · 26/09/2012 20:16

Had to name change..
I have a new lovely man in my life, but English is not my mother tongue and want to change the past, please inspire me with some suitable and nice - not rough - names..?

OP posts:
izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:22

Google 'penis slang' or call it Willy.

Nagoo · 26/09/2012 20:24

at rest 'penis'
in use 'cock' [rough]

sookiesookie · 26/09/2012 20:24

Why do you need to come up with a name for it?
do you mean a nickname? a biological correct name? or something to use during dirty talk?

ilovemyteddies · 26/09/2012 20:25

Robert
Sebastian
The Clunge Caresser
IT

YogaLite · 26/09/2012 20:25

thanks so far, I meant for when in intimate use :)

OP posts:
izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:26

If his love muscle doesn't inspire you to 'change the past', find one that does.

sookiesookie · 26/09/2012 20:28

I still don't get why.

Is it so you can say dirty things during sex? If so go with 'cock'.

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/09/2012 20:28

Cock is the only really acceptable term IMO. Willy is for when it's soft, it's not really sexy.

izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:29

What does he call your pleasure zone vagina?

'IT' teddies? Is it a virtual dick? Grin

ShowOfHands · 26/09/2012 20:33

Name the one-eyed trouser snake?

I try not to look directly at it tbh.

plannedshock · 26/09/2012 20:36

Purple headed womb ferret. SorryGrin

MissHuffy · 26/09/2012 20:37

HullyGully mentioned the term "manana" yesterday from man banana. Grin

YogaLite · 26/09/2012 20:38

Was thinking lollipop, is that mad - or maybe too childish?
He says love nest about mine, I am so far was hovering with "you" but need something hing more special and not too rude
None of this was in my english lang books!

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 26/09/2012 20:38

Pork Sword

izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:39

Same here, Hands. They're rarely a pretty sight.

izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:39

Lollipop? I suggest you suck it and see if he likes it Wink

StateofConfusion · 26/09/2012 20:40

Purple helmet warrior, miguel, heat seaking missile, ssshlong, love wand, throbbing member, his sex..

Or cock.

needsomeperspective · 26/09/2012 20:40

Little winky

izzyizin · 26/09/2012 20:44

Love nest? Hmm In that case, call his dick 'birdy-wirdy' when you want him to root around lay a few eggs in your nest.

YogaLite · 26/09/2012 20:44

izzy, well put Grin

OP posts:
sookiesookie · 26/09/2012 20:44

Schlong?

Not very sexy

ilovemyteddies · 26/09/2012 20:47

@ Izzyizin

Grin

Well I meant "It" really. Or "The thing". I dunno, I never really see it nowadays, I presume "it" still exists, down "there". Hmm

ohanotherone · 26/09/2012 20:49

Well, he would be jolly chuffed if you referred to it as a "huge cock". Cock is not rough when pre-fixed with the word huge surely. We only have huge coscks and flaccid cocks in my household Wink

Admiraltea · 26/09/2012 20:49

Prick, cock, Dick...though never actually uttered any name .. it is his and he can name it himself. I just make happy noises. So in answer.. mmmm .....ooo .. or wow....no that's not right..WOW ...makes him v smiley and gets all inspired .

Shakey1500 · 26/09/2012 20:50

Cock