The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

Moves up to make room for Reynaud

Reynard,even!

3rd night on the wagon and I realise that the trickiest time is just after I get in from work. That's when I start thinking about pouring a glass of wine, how I deserve it after a stressful day, etc. Once I get through that part it gets easier so i am going to get some nice soft drinks to take that edge off when i am feeling vulnerable. Friday night is going to be difficult but I'm not going to think about that tonight. One day at a time and all that! Great to have the support from here everyone, it makes such a difference. And I have to say I am sleeping so much better!

or maybe even a new little ritual that is genuinely soothing witco - slip into some lovely comfy evening clothes? take a bath? cleanse and moisturise the day away? whatever. be good i think to replace comfort associations with genuine comforts that we replaced with booze somehow.

morning all

today i will not be drinking. it may be a good day, a bad day or a mixed bag but i will not drink today. anyone joining me?

chickens are in situ. have been out and coaxed them out of their house and into the little fully enclosed run and let the dogs see them. lab is very very very excited by them - hoping this settles down over time and gradual exposure. their ability to free range rests in part on her ability to not see them as prey.

hope everyone slept well and woke lightly x

Morning all,
I will join you saf I will not be drinking today.
Day 1 again.
Will also get my lazy a**e to lunchtime AA meeting for some extra support.
People talking about relapsing made me want to drink last time think you have had that problem saf also feeling I should speak and being to shy and tongue tied, thats a personality thing I guess. If I have been drinking I am the opposite but probably spout total shite.

Thats how I feel this morning TOTAL SHITE !!!

saf great news about chickens, decided on names yet?
I haven't got my own chickens, would love some but yeah you guessed NSDH hates them so no go . I do look after chickens for a couple of friends when they are away, enjoy that and get free eggs. Sounds like you haven't got a cockerel which is probably wise, my one friend has and seeing the chicks is lovely but the cockerel aptly named ginger ninja is really hard to deal with , real mind of his own and quite aggressive in "protecting" his hens.

Welcome back miflaw don't think I,ve said that, so glad you are still not drinking even though times are obviously not good at present, awesome stuff
Hope everyone else is well.
Bye for now babes.

Day 23, bit fed up today, looking forward to my toffee mousse later. Heaven help me if Sainsburys stop making them...

oh just children and husbands. Nothing dreadful, DD has just been pushing my buttons lately... then I lose my temper and feel guilty for over-reacting.

How ya doin?

Evening all

Reading but not posting, dealing with the house of plague. I'm not ill anymore but everyone else is. Two stomach bugs, a cold and one post-jab case of mild mumps at last count. Popping in to say I am NOT drinking tonight, aiming for an af weekend. Hope everyone's having a happy and safe Friday evening, whether on the bus or in the sidecar.

Am in the side-car tonight, very tough day at work dealing with the fallout of redundancy announcements. Haven't overdone it but I am disappointed and know I will feel worse about it tomorrow. Hey ho, the struggle goes on

morning all

hope everyone who was aiming not to drink managed it and feels bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning.

i've been invited to interview for a job - very surprised to hear back from them and now very scared - there is an hour of group discussions as part of the interview! it's a good job though and it draws upon my teaching experience, my degree subject, my counselling skills and my experience of living in other cultures. not often i see a job advertised that draws it all together and makes my cv look like a coherent whole instead of a random scattergram. so i have to go for it regardless of how scared i am. isinde i bet you'd be well placed to know what they're looking for and what to do in the group discussions... help?!!

today i won't be drinking. i'm deciding that every day now in the morning and deciding that i mean it. today i won't drink even if bad stuff happens, even if i'm sad, anxious, angry, stressed, happy, whatever. decision made.

hopefully you will all be joining me xx

oh and if JWN should pop her head - i need your style and beauty guru'ness on the case to work out what on earth to wear to interview.

Well done Saf that sounds just right for you. Exciting and terrifying at the same time though! Just remember, everyone else will be feeling the same and if it's right for you, it will fall into place somehow x

I will join you not drinking today. Good idea to make the decision in the morning, get it done and then there's no going back. Glad to hear the chickens are settling in ok.

Hi hope everyone is having a good Saturday. Looking for some encouragement. Been sober for 9 months and am now wavering. Going out to a posh dance tonight and am thinking that I need a drink. I think i feel that its a bit of an anti climax to go to the effort to get dressed up if i cant participate in the whole experience - and then there's the thought of making small talk sober. I know i am being daft but i cant shake the thought that a drink would make it easier. Sorry, i know that alot of people have real struggles. It would just be nice to shake this off and be normal for a night..

Well done soda, you've done brilliantly. How have you felt socialising over the past 9 months, without a drink? What's so different about this evening that makes you feel you need/want a drink?

I've managed okay socially but tend to socialise on a small scale. It took a while for my friends to understand that i was giving up alcohol for good. At first i dont think this was received well as i think my role in the group to some extent had become the clown. I change when drunk and although am actually shy become very extrovert and outrageous when drunk. But now my friends see that i am much happier i think they get what i am doing and some are even also cutting down. I suppose tonight is more of an occasion - an annual event that i go to. I am thinking back on previous years probably through rose tinted spectacles, wishing that i could join in the fun. But it wouldnt be fun would it - not when i see the film through to the end.. Thanks - am off to get ready and am back on track..

congratulations saf !

I think you will be glad tomorrow if you don't drink today soda. You had good reasons for stopping and you might not be able to get it back under control again once you give in to that 'little voice'. Have a good evening, stay strong x

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Hello to all the new Babes and a HUGE WELCOME!

Saf - CONGRATULATIONS, I am so happy for you. Yay!! Sounds perfect for your talents (is that the right word?), your counselling skills on here alone are truly amazing at times. The way you can see things through 'other eyes'. xx

Sorry not to post more but I am one poorly mouse. Was told by NHS Direct On-Line to call 999 immediately and get an ambulance, when I put my symptoms in to Q&A this morning, I decided to try to speak to a human being, who luckily managed to whittle some of the questions and answers I gave, in to a lot less drama.

I have some sort of fucking awful chest infection/viral infection. I almost collapsed at pre-school yesterday and DH had to come get me and Nemo. I was as white as a sheet and shaking uncontrollably. Had a shocking night, poor DH. He kept having to help me move over.

I'm going to bed now to try and get some sleep...... My extremities are cold and I have had a temp of 39.1 from 3pm today, I'm just checking it again and going to take my anti-b's that the emergency A&E doc gave me, plus the cold and flu tablets I have.

Anyway, Sorry to bang on about me, keep taking it ODAAT Brave Babes, you can do this. You really, really can.

Night xxx

Mouse,you sound awful. Don't be a hero - if you need to go to hospital then go!
Haven't read the thread. Hope you all doing ok

Day 2 done. Drank alcohol free beer which I know isn't ideal but it's still a damn sight better than half a bottle of wine!

Aaand, tomorrow I will not be drinking.

Mouse I hope you feel better soon, sounds really awful.

Saf well done on the interview.

Waves to ma

Night night all, sleep tight...