The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

That's great Koti. Onwards and upwards from now on

Hiya,

Little post from me, will come back later to say hi properly.

I've been drinking again- not loads but I didn't want to drink at all. I don't really have enough work on to pay anything other than the basic bills , but it's ok. Then my ou box arrived which look amazing. So I decided I couldn't manage it and bought wine. Ffs!

mouse hope you are ok?
kotinka I didn't expect anything else from ss, they have to do follow up interviews but I'm sure it was just a formality in your case. You sound well
saf how exciting!!! Wow!!!! I'm desperate to know what it is (but I know you can't say). Good luck.

big wave to rural and sodalime- don't blow it now. 9 months is such an achievement, really isn't worth that one drink.

Also well done elly, you sound very cheerful

morning all

sorry you're so poorly mouse - hope it's short lived!

kotinka - that is great news. fingers crossed the change in thyroid medicine makes a huge difference - well known how down that can make you x

soda - hope you managed not to drink, if not i hope you're ok now and will come and talk. you sound really aware - the rose tinted glasses thing is spot on - we need to remember the worst of our drinking and what it was like at the end not the 'good times' when things were ok.

thanks for the congratulations. i've been in touch with my referees and am reading through whatever relevant documents and policies i can find gradually and have been on a clothes hunting mission and think i know what i'm going for. one of my referees has sent me a lovely email telling me how i came across to him in interview and working in groups and showing confidence in me which helps. still terrified mind.

well done to everyone on their non drinking. today i will not be drinking but will have to watch others drink - sunday dinner with family. will make sure i'm very focused and 'ok' before i go.

kotinka great news, although I didn't expect anything else - you sound like a great mum and would never do anything to harm your kids

I have been saved by the Bus again! Coming up is my DHs birthday - which is when I would allow myself to have a drink after several weeks. We're going to his parents though & I was questioning whether I really wanted to drink there. I've thought that if I drink in the future (maybe once a week?) it should only be at home, where I can control the situation. An evening at the in-laws tends to go wrong because

a) I'm watching everyone else to check they don't drink more than their 'share'
b) After all the wine is drunk, everyone else moves on to spirits which I don't drink, so I feel resentful
c) I will drink anything else I find in someone else's house, even if its inappropriate
d) will also get rude and argumentative - although with my MIL that would happen drunk or sober

So (sorry this is long) I was thinking I'd not drink on DHs birthday... and then I was worried what this would mean for the future - what about a 2-day stopover at Christmas? What about being at MY own family house?

And then I remembered the Bus's motto: One Day At A Time. I only need to think about next weekend, not next month or Christmas!

Afternoon lovely ladies, hope there have been good weekends all round.

Helloooooo to Witco and Gugg in the sidecar.

Soda, I hope you got through last night ok, I find social occasions stressful, I think lots of us do on here, it's a big part of the problem.

Joey, you are right about ODAAT. I don't worry about drinking/not drinking per se, but I'm the worst kind of pointless rebel, so if I set a goal such as not drinking for a week or month, then I'll self-sabotage as quickly as possible, normally within the first 24 hours!! ODAAT makes that impossible, and suddenly I'll get to a week or whatever without noticing. For example, I'm on day 3, I'm not drinking today, but I don't know yet what's going to happen tomorrow so there's no pressure.

Gugg, you mentioned an ou box, are you studying?

So yes, day 3, hmm. I don't like day 3 or day 4. Day 1 and 2 are fine because I know you're not supposed to drink every night and your body needs rest days yada yada yada. But day 3 and day 4 are my weak days because I COULD have a couple of drinks and still be within 'normal' drinking guidelines over the course of the week. But then of course I'm comparing myself to a 'normal' drinker, which I'm not. And I'm such a lightweight that even if I have two drinks I'll feel awful the next day anyway. Must. Play. Film. Through. To. End.

Sorry about lack of bolding, I (ahem) can't work out how to use my star key on my laptop. And I big up my IT skills in my cv

Hi everyone.

kot - oh, that is great news!

I had a couple of glasses of champagne and a couple of shots at a party last night, but over about six hours, so I am reasonably pleased with myself. I've drunk this week but squeaked in just about under 14 units.

ellie - your day three blues rings so true to me too! It's just that place in the cycle where it's so hard not to say 'why not?'. I keep trying to make sure I've got something planned for day 3-4 that helps me remember not to drink, like planning to drive out to the cinema with DH or going swimming after dinner. I'm really glad to know it's not just me who tends to come off the rails that day.

This next week (cross fingers), I will not be drinking.

Hope all babes are having a good and sober weekend.

So... I go on holiday and MIFLAW reappears, briefly. How are you, you old bugger?

Returning from hols, I looked at the first couple of pages of this new thread, and then jumped over here.... I saw a few new posters a couple of weeks ago - have they disappeared? Or are they just a couple of pages away?

Hello, been mostly lurking, inspired by your efforts and supportiveness. Think I'd like to take a seat on the bus now. Feeling very hungover today and made a fool of myself last night, I'm cringing and full of guilt that my little one has been bored all day whilst I'm laid on the sofa :(

Did you have a good holiday, venus?

green - ouch, that doesn't sound fun.

But ... we've all made idiots of ourselves. It's horrible but let it remind you not to drink again, don't let it twist you up inside. You never look as much of an idiot to other people as you do to yourself the day after!

Thank you LDR

hi well thats the weekend over. hope you all had a good one. Didnt drink last night and was glad even as the evening went on. Even when my mum - having told me that she thought it was great that i hadnt been drinking said one wouldn't hurt. i pointed out that it wouldn't be one glass would it. It would be a bottle it would actually have been nearer two, but saved her this detail) and then another tonight and then the next night. Possibly my fault for not being more open, but i dont think she knows the full extent. She would be horrified if she thought her daughter in charge of her grandchildren had consistently drank at 10 bottles of wine every week - and more at holidays and high days. am rambling. Anyway, last night was good fun and as i looked around it struck me that those who were drinking didnt really look as if they were having any better a time and peaked briefly before becoming somewhat jaded by the end of the night. Funny how the reality didnt seem anywhere near as good as the perception. Also, i want to say thanks to all the posters. I feel bad as i rarely post or contribute but i have taken so much from you all over the years. I had a few abortive attempts at stopping drinking and have done better recently. I check in religiously each night and your posts keep me keeping on. I am sure there are many more like me and so you probably dont realise just how many people you all touch and are helping. Love to you all x

PS good luck for the interview SAF. It all sounds very promising and i have my fngers crossed for you x

Good luck sAf - amazing effort and hope it all works out for you x

mouse - how are you? This lurgy I have is truly vile.

rural - you ok?

I am in the sidecar

night babes,

Stayed off the booze tonight but very aware of feeling less than cheerful so I don't know how long I will manage to stay on the bus.
joey I very much admire you for knocking the wine witch back into place- well done.

ellie love the 'pointless rebel' bit- me too.Well done on day 3 it is a tough one I am starting a course with the ou- it looks brilliant but I'm not sure I can manage it.

I'm bloody whingy tonight, aren't I? Will come back tomorrow with a better attitude!

well done soda on being honest when talking to your mum. definitely the way forward.

Waves to the babes in the sidecar. Night all.

oh insinde! i hope you've dreamt up a few sly jokes to put him in his place tomorrow. or you could just go with ah right, now jim davidson is finished let's get down to business type filing of what he says. tosser.

well done kotinka. i am finding it helps to make the decision in the morning and include in it that i'm not going to drink EVEN if i feel angry/stressed/tired etc or even if the sky falls in. i have to sew up those loopholes daily.

child, chickens, dogs and cat have been fed so i finally get to sit down for a cup of coffee! i'm sure i was meant to be a farmer or zoo keeper or something. i could happily get up at dawn and go to bed at dusk and live in wellies.

off to check my pm for your wisdom insinde.

morning everyone

Soda Funny how the reality didnt seem anywhere near as good as the perception

Yes! This is so true. When I do drink I wonder sometimes why I bother. The first glass doesn't even taste that nice. There's still some lingering habit there for me and it's not really a problem but I do sometimes think I might chuck it in altogether.

Gugg Stayed off the booze tonight but very aware of feeling less than cheerful so I don't know how long I will manage to stay on the bus

The thing with not drinking, my lovely, is that to enjoy it you have to embrace it. Otherwise, when you are not drinking you are miserable because you think you're missing out on something and when you do drink you are miserable because you feel like shit and feel like you let yourself down. It's a no win situation. And if you want to drink to cheer yourself up, you can see that that won't work either because the next day you will regret it and feel even more miserable.

Does any of that make sense?

Now, yesterday I discovered peppermint and licorice tea and, for me, it's the tastiest drink I've had in ages. I had three cups all in a row and looking forward to having it after work today. I'm still working on changing my habits but every little helps, imo.

I only lost 1lb this week, not sure why, possibly totm, but will keep at it this week. Anyone else manage to lose anything?

Mouse can I just echo what everyone else has said. So difficult for you to put your needs first I know, but do try and take whatever help they can offer, even if it's just a few hours respite.

Isinde think of the money, think of the money . . .

Have a good day all x

Hello ladies, day 2 for me though day one wasn't really a conscious effort just too ill to drink! I have an open bottle of wine in the fridge wonder if I can withstand that temptation! I have. An added complication that I have started taking stimulent medication (prescribed) which is making me edgy and panicky so I have been drinking more in the evenings again to relax/ get to sleep, look at me making excuses already, sigh... Hope you all have a good day x