The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

[greeneyed]

You are right purple - really money is the main issue (and my lack of earning much) I am deflecting it by feeling resentful to my husband for not earning more, bitter towards friends and generally woe is me - I just want to run off with a handsome man to paris or something - totally and utterly childish, it is me who needs to buck up!

[greeneyed]

purple sounds like you are taking on too much - have the chocolate just not the wine :) Giving up alcohol won't solve all your problems or suddenly make you happy but it will cause less problems and improve no manner of things - how do you think you'd feel this morning if you'd had two bottles of wine yesterday, hadn't lost 3lbs etc etc? By the way 3lbs is good in 12 days - think that would be 6 or 7 lbs in a month a stone in two. Don't expect too much all at once. You are doing amazingly well by the way :) xx

[aliasjoey]

green am also very fed up - just wrote a long whining post, and mumsnet ate it which has not improved my mood.

Am bored, angry, depressed and generally whiny.

Still not drinking.

[helpyourself]

Morning! We got through the night without even a power cut. Sounds as though it's been devastating for many though; I can hear sweeping and sirens outside.

[timetochange70]

Morning all. Well I climbed on the bus a few weeks ago but fell off after a week. Trouble is I am in a very unhappy marriage with 4 dc and when I have a drink I start looking for an argument. Last night I slammed DH laptop lid down which he's really protective over and he struck me to the floor in front of my dd. I feel awful because of this. If I hadn't had a drink I wouldn't have done that he wouldn't have pushed me and dd wouldn't have been exposed to any of it . I then cried so much as you just can't undo something like that. I mean really really cried. does alcohol make anyone else so depressed ? I only had 3 glasses but that's what I have most nights and I just need to stop for everyone's sake.

[aliasjoey]

aww timetochange honey, alcohol is such a bad thing... but at least you recognise it and can do something about it. Why did you fall off the bus last time? Even if you can only manage a few days at a time, it gets easier and becomes a habit.

You say you're in an unhappy marriage, does your DH support your cutting down, does he also drink? Sorry if this is too personal, you just sound in a bad state this morning.

[aliasjoey]

and yes alcohol is a depressant.

[greeneyed]

timetochange sounds like you are not the only one at fault in that situation! Was your DH drunk as well? Joey sorry you are also miserable, at least you are not drowning your sorrows which is good!! I have spent all morning reviewing the finances - worse than I thought but actually I feel better that I'm not just sticking my head in the sand and at least I know what I'm dealing with - have emailed DH details and asked him to email me his OD, Credit card amount etc - we are rubbish at talking about money - easier to email - I hope it's not too bad - feel more positive today that I need to take control as opposed to wallowing in self pity - Right I'm off to ebay everything that isn't nailed down and then try and do some work - post a nice dog walk to calm down! xx

[helpyourself]

timetochange you need to be really selfish and concentrate on yourself. Don't stop for anyone else. See the drink for what it is, a depressant, an addiction, an enemy and stop for you. Avoid the HALT triggers and perhaps read through Miflaws posts today.

[aliasjoey]

green actually forcing yourself to look at your finances instead of burying your head in the sand is horrible isn't it? But it has to be done, alcohol or no alcohol, and you'll feel better knowing what you're dealing with.

I convinced myself that after nearly 7 weeks I could have a drink tonight. Then remembered the 'deal' I made with myself - to only drink at weekends. A bit annoyed BUT a few weeks ago, my response would have been "Sod that! what difference does a few days make?!"

Now, my reponse was "oh well, its only a few days." Actually there is still a tiny little seed of doubt in my head. Chocolate is the way forward...

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Afternoon, tis me Mouse

Not caught up, I'm sorry to say, mad busy day here and I'm in a lot of pain but can't take much as I've got to drive into town for eye tests, me and DD, then go food shopping.... too much to do and no time! Argh!

I just wanted to post the link to the new thread on the last page for when this is full, so that we don't leave anyone behind

I hope that those who are struggling know that they are in my thoughts...... as are those who've not posted for a while. Stay Brave xx

NEW THREAD for later.

Bye for now xx

[greeneyed]

Mouse thank you sorry you are in so much pain - hope you can put your feet up later -Joey We've never been here before financially it's a real test - I just read on another thread though that someone manages on £350 per month with family of four for all groceries, lunches, gifts etc saves £75 a month out of that and manages to go out a couple of times a month - they must be a bloody miracle worker! We spend a minimum of £150 a week on groceries (family of 3) okay that probably includes £25 or so on booze but that still leaves over £500 a month for groceries alone - I shop very carefully, get all the half price offers etc - what am I doing wrong? I have a lot to learn.

This has also been a real incentive to give up the booze if I cut out two bottles of wine a week even that would be around £50 per month or £600 per year would pay for a trip to centre parks for us. And I would be much less likely to smoke, lets not even go there with the costs of fags (recently rekindled this habit after several years quit - about 3 a day at the moment but still adds up!)

Joey well done - keep going till the weekend x

Anyway must get off here and start ebaying or better still working!!

[aliasjoey]

my sister manages to spend very little on food, don't know how she does it - well I do, she buys all cheap stuff, Iceland mostly.

We like our food in this family, and we spend a lot on food (not lots of food, just quality stuff)

On the other hand, I hardly buy any clothes etc, she has a Next habit and also Ipods for the kids etc. Most my clothes are second-hand. I've just got a free budget app to record all my money spent, although I already know too much of it goes to Sainsburys!!

I once went into Aldi, couldn't see anything I liked, and walked out again

[greeneyed]

Joey, I know we could live off frozen, pizza's, pies, chips etc but things aren't so bad (yet!) I do feel for people who have no choice but to feed their families that way although to be fair my son would love it!

[PurpleWolfe]

Aww, thanks Green. I know you're right, I should be looking at the positives - was just a bit of a grump this morning. I have tended, in the past, to be an 'all or nothing' sort of person and I know I have to temper that with a bit of reality. You are right about the weight, too, I should be happy with 3lbs. I've put on about one and a half stone in the past 2 years and have never been this size before. None of my 'nice' clothes fit me (I live in two pairs of jeans and two baggy tops (not at the same time!)) but I can't afford to buy new stuff so am hanging on until I lose a bit more. Being this size is just not 'me' and I don't have much self-worth at the mo'. And, of course, I'm horribly impatient.

I know what you mean about trying to feed the family on a budget (I have me and my 3 DC's) - it's really difficult. There is a comparison site whereby you put all the things you need in a virtual 'basket' and then the site works out which supermarket is the cheapest for you. I'll go and Google it in a minute but I'm guessing someone else can help you with the name of it. Other than that, bulk cooking is my only (weak) suggestion.

Hope your cold has gone?

Mouse Sorry you are in pain, hope you get to have a bit of a rest at the end of the day?

Alias Aldi? You and me both!

[PurpleWolfe]

PS Just raided the Christmas chocolates! Don't tell the DC's!

[venusandmars]

Sounds like people are having a tough time. Yes, life can be crap and hard, and people and family and relationships are difficult. But I know, I really, really know that having a glass of wine, or a couple of glasses, or a bottle and a half does not, DOES NOT make it any better. It doesn't make it better in the short term (it does not really stop you from feeling ad or crap, or poor, or angry; and it certainly doesn't help in the longer term.

So what dos help.......? ah not much space to poat on this thread, but lets start looking at the new thread for some positive and practical approaches. xx

[venusandmars]

Of course, I should have said:

sad and post

Maybe my spelling will be better on the next thread

[venusandmars]

Only 5 more post until we are all

ON THE NEW THREAD

[venusandmars]

Don't Lose Us - We're Still Here, Just on a new thread xx

[venusandmars]

Click on this link to find the next thread ---> HERE

[venusandmars]

Click on this link to find the next thread -> HERE! HERE! Here

[venusandmars]

This thread is now full, but don't despair, you can find us on the new thread:

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties

Which is OVER HERE