The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

where did my (totally irrelevant, unhelpful and wittering) post go?

Morning all

If you didn't drink yesterday, how great do you feel today?

Do you feel that you made the right choice? Do you feel in control? Are you full of energy and ready to face the day full on?

Do you want to feel like that again tomorrow?

Boing!!

Morning faire!

I feel very good, nice to wake up to that set of questions!

And you?

alias - oh, no! That's so annoying.

I'm full of beans thanks LRD, the sun is shining, I've lost 1lb so far this week and I'm so glad to not be drinking. Life is crisp and clear and full of colour this morning.

This evening, I will be knackered after a busy day at work but I know I won't drink and I will get a good nights sleep ready to wake up for another Boing.

(And no, ma, that does not have anything to do with Mr Mouse )

Btw Saf how are the chooks settling in? Any names yet?

Ahh, that sounds lovely!

I never seem to lose weight not drinking, but I do feel much better. It is a gorgeous morning here as well, I'm going to see if I can get out for a walk later. Being tired is quite a good way to distract from drinking in the evenings, IMO.

Day 22

THREE WEEKS

Go joey!

Well done

kot - ick, hope the lurgy gets better soon.

Oh, why didn't that work? Sorry:

Glad there are so many positive people this morning

I am still ill and today marks 4 weeks of this lurgy. I am now so full of snot and my lips are chapped inside and out from breathing through my mouth. I am still hot and cold and shivering and coughing. I ache all over. Have had to take another day sick as was not up to the 6hr round drive today

When will this end? Went to the gp on tues but she wouldn't give me anything. I am so sick of feeling this ill

hehe at link kot thanks for that. i did have a short fad of trying to be knitter. there are a few random, crappy scarves lying around as evidence.

the chickens come tonight - in the dark! think of me somewhere around 8pm tonight up the end of my garden trying to brave transporting chickens (i've never actually picked up a chicken in my life) into my henhouse. ds is determined he wants to call one of them, "lexy" so we may have to go down the pornstar-style name route.

sorry for all the lurgy sufferers - horrible when it drags on and on and feels like it's been forever.

i feel pretty good this morning. went back to my meeting last night and basically wept all the way through it. tried to share back and did but ended up having to stop when a big sob came out of me embarrassingly unexpectedly. people were really nice and i think what i was feeling was important TO feel iyswim. odaat stuff sinking in and realising that means one day at a time for the.rest.of.my.life. was both upset (hit by the seriousness of it and that i may not be able to do it and this disease could actually destroy me) and angry that it had to be that hard and endless. though of course you have your oldtimers to tell you it does get easier and no one would be sat there if it didn't because they'd all be dead.

sobbing and hyperventilating in front of people is not my usual style but hey, my usual style hasn't served me too well. so fuck it. better out than in i guess

have had a nice easy slow start day and now must get on with practising doing things i don't want to do off to do some ironing.

Is Jesus What Next still around?

Obscure "I am a very provocative person it seems. Men have always sought me out ( no more thankfulLy)!"

In case you didn't reailse, I am a man. I know for a fact that, drunk or sober (but mainly drunk) I have occasionally paid women attention that they frankly did not want and sometimes misread signals.

But I have NEVER, drunk or sober, got to a position where I have abused a woman. Eventually, even really drunk people understand the words "no" and "stop". Whether or not they react to them is then a choice they make.

Being provocative and men seeking you out do not excuse those same men for not taking "no" for an answer.

I'm no expert on this matter, but please don't ever blame yourself for someone else being a shit.

SAF

It doesn't have to be hard. Once you let realism into your life you see that this IS the "easier, softer way."

Still seems unfair and shit sometimes though. That's why we do it one day at a time, I guess ...

obscure yes alcohol numbs emotions temporarily. They keep coming back. When you're sober you have to deal with them. That's hard, there are different ways of doing that & you must be find the best way for you. You say you can't talk to your friends and family; could you talk to a stranger, a counsellor? They are trained to help (although in my experience, and I've seen NINE different counsellors before finding one that I clicked with!) private ones seem to be better than NHS ones.

Could you start an anonymous thread, or if thats all too difficult maybe write it down for yourself as faire suggested?

You have made a start which is understanding that alcohol does not make things better. You have made a very brave first step.

saf how many chickens? are they ex-battery hens?

Did you decide on names?

I like Betty, Dot and Margo.

oh sAf - that sounds really REALLY hard. i do think it sounds like it needed to happen though. hopefully those chookies will help you focus on keeping going for the next few days. how exciting. i would also love to get some at some point, so keep us posted

obscure - whatever has happened to you (and i can only hazard a guess) is NOT your fault. no matter what you have been told or made to believe, you did not provoke it. the shame you feel is what is stopping you from letting go and moving on. i think talking to someone about it, or writing it down, would be very helpful. please stay with us

haven't provided a kitten update for a while. they are full of beans - not particularly destructive, just into everything. Diavlo loves my laptop and walks all over it constantly; he is now exploring the airing cupboard... i am finding all my piles of paperwork, kids' drawings etc scattered everywhere as they jump on the surfaces and then skid everywhere. i left some unfinished bead stuff that i was doing with DD on the windowsill and came down in the morning to a kitchen floor COVERED in beads. schoolgirl error really!

DS spends hours playing with the kittens. he loves them so much and he laughs and laughs when he is playing with them. it is truly lovely to see. the first thing he does when he gets up in the morning is rush through and play with them. i hope this means a long and happy relationship for him with them. DD also plays with them but she is only 3 so doesn't have the stamina yet to keep the games going

MIFLAW, JWN is still around, she pops in and out:) think she popped in the other day to say hello to you!

Just checking in
Back in the sidecar

Hi Rural, do you want to talk about it?

. Hope you are ok lovely xx

Being provocative and men seeking you out do not excuse those same men for not taking "no" for an answer

Hear, hear. Obscure I hope you are reading this and are able to come back when you feel ready, even if you're not ready to stop drinking just yet. Just come and hang out with us for a bit?

Saf I think if you throw a blanket over a chicken it stops running and is easier to catch. When they arrive, check whether their wings have been clipped, otherwise they might be able to fly a little.

yep!! still here MIFLAW, just finding that being sober means that my life is so freakin busy i have to dash in and out of here now and again - off to one of my classes tonight in fact, a craft i have always wanted to learn, one i can now do because my evenings are not taken up with getting pissed!

apologies to all babes, still havent caught up with the thread just a little thought, when i was drinking i felt worthless and was prepared to take just about any old shit because i 'deserved' it, getting sober has changed that mind set somewhat, obscure, you are a valuable human being, treat yourself as such!!!

obrigada nono I am ok.
Getting an early night and day one starts tomorrow.
Keep posting obscure there is support and good advice here, totally agree with jwn getting sober changes your mind set and helps you realise you should treat yourself as the valuable human being you are.
Night babes