Why did you get married?

[FatFaced]

Why do people get married? There's someone on MN at the mo being told to give her DP an ultimatum because he's not keen on getting married, there's one woman having an affair after 22 years of marriage and someone else who might leave the bastard because of his drinking.

So why do so many people want to get married? I was always a bit anti marriage - didn't think it was necessary. My DP felt similarly. However I now quite fancy it but I don't know why... Is it the contract? The promise? The wedding?

Just curious really and interested in people's thoughts :)

Sorry, my example was just me trying to think of a reason you might choose not to be married - if someone was a gambler and untrustworthy with money, that could be a reason. Because they might abuse it, not because they system is designed in the hope they will.

I was shocked when I found out the bank will talk to me about DH's bank account if they think I'm his wife, but if I answer using my own name, they won't even talk to me about our own joint account if they'd rung up to talk about a problem with his card. And that the bank needed to know if we were married before they sorted out credit cards and overdrafts for him.

It's possible some of that was to do with him not having much of a UK credit rating, of course, rather than marriage per se.

I find it hard to think of legal/financial reasons not to be married in the abstract, but threads on here show that it's not the abstract that's the issue, it's individuals taking advantage.

Sorry again - I read back up the thread and I must have been thinking that wrongly anyway. Stupid! Sorry. I can't remember what I was thinking of, but thanks for putting it right.

I don't care for 'illegitimate'. That dates back to when you couldn't inherit his property if you weren't your dad's legitimate child. I have seen few parents these days saying 'oh, I'd just love to pass on the family home to little Joseph, but seeing as what we didn't get married until after he was born, my hands are tied, and no. 43 Garden Close must ever after be Jemima's. Sorry Joe.'

Totally each to their own but for me, the idea of having a proper married family together with man i love was important.

I find it hard to get my head round the idea that marriage is somehow more of a commitment than children. I could never have children with someone who I wasn't confident enough to commit to in marriage (& vice versa).

I know people who have children & mortgage but didnt marry, & have since spilt up & it's so so messy and complex (I know divorce can be too but there is more legal clarity I believe, based on my parents own divorce)

Also nice to have someone who legally has to rescue me from spiders

I prefer having an improprer married family.

Improper good too
Bad choice of words, I guess I should have put in quote marks!

Oh, I just reckoned someone had to say it.

I got married because I gave up my HA house to move in with my H. He had lived with me in my HA house but it was too small. He had rented out his own house. I wouldn't move in with him without marriage as I was afraid of something going wrong and having no comeback, no security, especially as I was giving up my home. Stupid reason eh? Also, with hindsight, I wanted rid of my maiden name, I was desperate to be someone else.
In my eyes, they were all the wrong reasons and I am now paying the price and trying to sort out the mess that is my life.

A while ago I met a woman at work who had been recently widowed. She was only in her 30s and the legal heartache shed been through because they weren't married chilled me to the bone.

We got married 6 months later. I love my DH to bits and I'm so glad I married him but I kept my surname! Taking his name would've been a step too far!

Because I love him and he asked. Because I damaged my career do we could be together and look after our son. Because legal protections don't only cover break ups, but also death or serious injury.

Because the Home Office made me do it

I was pregnant (planned) and I knew from my sister's experience a year earlier that we would not be able to register our child as a British citizen as I'm forrin. I've never bothered to take up citizenship despite living here for nearly 20 years. It's on my "to do" list but never seems to get to the top.

To be fair, we had intended on getting married before I got pregnant. We just weren't expecting to see the thin blue line the very first time we tried.