"I certainly wouldn't allow a man to take my pubescent daughter anywhere!
Gosh.
How odd.
Presumably I should have made sure no women took my son anywhere?"
OMC your posts usually make a lot of sense, but this is ridiculous. Countless male abusers groom, abuse and rape young girls (and boys). It's rare for females to do this, which is why we all remember what Myra Hindley did half a century ago.
I'm not vilifying men, it's just the truth. A young boy is infinitely safer just based on statistics with a 'strange' woman than a young girl is with a male stranger. I came from a big family and my parents were always scared of losing us when we went out en masse (they never did). Their advice was 'if you get lost, find a nice lady and say you are lost'. It just makes sense.
And I wouldn't let any man other than their father take my daughters swimming, or tickle them, either.
When I was about 13 there was a man in his thirties who I used to pass on my way to school who kind of 'befriended' me. Now, years later, though nothing 'wrong' happened, I am just struck by the oddness of this behaviour on his part. It's not normal. We all know what the boundaries are in society. I would think it extremely strange if my dh behaved as that man did. I would wonder why on earth he bothered, what was in it for him.
Frankly, OP, your dh sounds really worrying. My daughters are 10 and 12 and if I thought he lived on their route to school I would want them to walk another way. As another poster has rightly said, he shouldn't be asking you to police his behaviour. In doing this, yes, he is shifting the responsibility for curbing his oddness onto you, but he is also admitting he knows his own behaviour is odd. If that's the case, why can't he stop it, and why does he deliberately put himself in potentially compromising situations - getting too close to a young girl outside the family?
I feel sorry for you because you say you love him. It is clear that you are worried about what he might be. Why are you here? I think it is because you suspect that he's a weirdo but you need someone else to tell you that so you don't feel guilty for your fears. If you were confident you really knew him you wouldn't be posting.
Do you know if your husband has any convictions for offences against children in his life before you knew him? Have you tried to find out? The sexual history you have described is odd... no sexual relationships in the past? Sounds like a priest, and we all know what many of them have been found guilty of.
I wouldn't be giving house room to someone I was suspicious had an unnatural and unhealthy interest in young girls - and you are suspicious, aren't you?
This whole thread makes me shudder, sorry.