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Original poster

Does every parent really think their kid is the most beautiful?

282 replies

OhEmGee24 · 04/09/2012 16:45

This was a conversation bought up in the staff room regarding parents and their kids. What's the mumsnet opinion?

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 05/09/2012 21:17

Thanks Pictish!

Frank, your daughter is beautiful and you have a real talent for photography.

Fenton, I let out an involuntary 'awwww' at your photo, squee!

Marianne, I don't seem to be able to see your profile. :(

ChasedByBees · 05/09/2012 21:20

Blackcurrants, that sounds pretty mean of your mother. It's good that your self aware enough to examine the motives behind it.

Spuddy, that is definitely not normal of your sister!

MsGee · 05/09/2012 21:37

I think my DD is gorgeous. However, I realise that other people may not agree. I can't be objective and figure if it's true, then I am justified in telling her she is beautiful (and clever, funny, kind...), if not then - well, she needs to know everyone is beautiful at least to their mum

My ex's mum refused to have baby pics of him up in the house because she said he was far too ugly as a baby. Sad

My landlord used to tell me that his kids were beautiful and clever. I was surprised when I met them ....Blush

I think it takes all sorts. I think we all have blind spots with our kids. I know some people who think their child is a genius when they're clearly not.

MarianneM · 05/09/2012 21:53

Bees, it's public now.

I love showing off my beautiful, darling (and clever) girls Grin!

BigBoobiedBertha · 05/09/2012 22:29

My mum entered me for one of those beautiful baby competitions. Needless to say I didn't win but she thought I was robbed. Weirdly, I don't think she ever said anything else about my relative beauty or lack of it. I suspect that as she loved babies, she would have thought I was girgeous no matter how I looked. It clearly wore off as I got older.

I tell my boys they are beautiful all the time and call them handsome. I do wonder sometimes whether I am sending them the wrong message that looks are important. Hopefully they realise it is just their mother being daft. On the other hand good looking people do get looked on more favourably by the rest of the world generally so maybe it isn't so much shallow as wishing they could have an easier passage through life.

Spuddybean · 05/09/2012 22:40

i watched an interview with a child psychologist who was saying that her daughter was always told how pretty she was, but her son was told he was clever. So she said whenever someone said 'oh hello x you look pretty' the mum would say 'yes and she's also great at karate/painting/climbing'.

boredbuthappy · 06/09/2012 02:35

I am happy to be deluded in this instance!

Snog · 06/09/2012 06:39

Hands up who tells mums how beautiful their babies are even though they are just babies really!!!
People who admire your kids are generally being nice more than being objective imo

StealthPolarBear · 06/09/2012 09:41

Well I do tend to tell all mums their babies are beautiful but then I do tend to think that :o bit broody when they're tiny they look like frogs which I think is very cute. In fact they always seem to resemble animals - ds reminded me of a skinned rabbit, dd (smaller at birth and not fat in the slightest) reminded me of a piglet for some reason - think it was the snuffling. Shall I go on or shall I go and pounce on dh now? :o
But the babies I know who have been born recently have genujnely been extremely cute.

pictish · 06/09/2012 09:49

I know - all the 'we get stopped in the street so strangers can comment on my child's beauty' people make me Grin (in a nice 'bless you' sort of way). I don't think they realise that pretty much all babies, toddlers and little children get fawned over at various points.
That nice lady in the supermarket did the same the next day with a total gargoyle. "Oh look at his eyes! He's sooooo lovely!'

Beauty is totally objective - parents however, are not.

slartybartfast · 06/09/2012 09:53

funnily enough after reading, some, of this thread yesterday on my facebook page virtually everyone was posting up pictures of their beautiful dcs going to school, back or starting.
one of the mum's has a particularly criminal looking teenager and posted her picture.
how i laughed.
she had a face only a mother could love. and i dont doubt that her mother does love her AND think she is beautiful.
it is natural.

StealthPolarBear · 06/09/2012 09:53

Which is exactly as it should be. Every child deserves to be surrounded by immediate family who think they are the best ever. As long as it doesn't reach x factor proportions

pictish · 06/09/2012 09:57

Absolutely Stealth.

CrunchyFrog · 06/09/2012 10:33

My 3 are extremely beautiful and gorgeous to me and all the rest of the family.

Objectively, DD is an average 9 year old, DS1 is funny looking and DS2 is rather beautiful.

I remember the different comments when they were small, DD was a very attractive toddler and DS2 gets people stopping in the street to pet him (even though I do explain that he is Evil and the cherubic prettiness is all a front.) DS1 used to get "Oh, isn't he.... erm.... BLONDE!" Bless him, he's a quirky little guy and always has been. I think he's perfect though.

They're on my profile Wink

Houseworkprocrastinator · 06/09/2012 11:21

I have one real cutie and she knows it... The other one is very bright Grin

BigBoobiedBertha · 06/09/2012 12:06

Interesting. I would never stop somebody to tell them their child was beautiful unless they really were ( although it is unlikely I would ever approach a complete stranger anyway). I wouldn't comment on any child being beautiful unless they really were. I'd find something else to compliment or just be vague about them being a sweetie or cute or something.

Its a bit sad that some of you think other people do randomly stop parents in the street to comment on their children and assume they aren't genuine. I would have thought people you know are more likely to lie or stretch the truth than strangers. If somebody dies approach you, be pleased not supicious - they really are paying you a compliment.

Spuddybean · 06/09/2012 14:34

On my mums side of the family (not lookers at all) being attractive was always seen with bitterness. Despite mum being the cleverest and only of 4 to go to grammar school, she was belittled because she was the 'prettiest' (blonde, green eyed, slim etc while the others were all red head, freckly and rotund) and told she couldn't be both clever and attractive. It was easier for them to pigeon hole.

Similarly out of all the cousins I am considered the most conventionally attractive (i am the only one which didn't get the viking gene). But this means all my life i have been told by them that i am stupid and had comments said bitterly like 'oh spud just wants to sit there and look beautiful/paint her nails/marry a rich man etc'. Despite me actually being the only one to go to uni and have a 'career'. They think they are being nice, spreading the positives, so one is clever, one is pretty, one is sporty etc - But is just doesn't work like that. We can all be more than one thing.

Lagartijadoesthecrazyshake · 06/09/2012 14:49

but my DCs really ARE beautiful.

mindosa · 06/09/2012 14:54

No I dont think so. I think my girls are divine and DD1 is the sort of child who people stop and look at, however I can appreciate that there are more beautiful children out there.

I think up to about 7 they all look cute but after that we all begin to slot into the groups we end up in looks wise - below average, average, stunner! Thank God for make up and hairdressers !

lookslikeacoconut · 06/09/2012 20:34

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqtcb66Yeyo

SoleSource · 06/09/2012 21:46

Nah, it is I that is the most beautiful not DC poor fuglies.

toptramp · 07/09/2012 05:25

My dd is stunning. Everyone thinks so! Ok I do sound like an arrogant mum but with huge brown eyes, olive skin (from her dad) and a heart shaped face she is truly lovely. Not the typical blonde hair, blue eyed popular girl at school look though.

otchayaniye · 07/09/2012 07:22

try this - my father (a psychiatrist) describe five things about your child without using the word 'is'. a great antidote to narcissism and

also, babies used in advertising are 'cute', not beautiful as such. plus they have to come from a self-selecting group of parents who would consider modelling their baby.

pictish · 07/09/2012 07:51

try this - my father (a psychiatrist) describe five things about your child without using the word 'is'. a great antidote to narcissism

I don't get that. Can you perhaps explain it?

ditavonteesed · 07/09/2012 07:54

pictish that would be like
dd1 loves giraffes,
dd1 likes the colour blue,
dd1 really enjoys swimming,
dd1 can climb really high,
dd1 plays on the trampoline.
What you are describing is a part of their personality rather than a meaninless compliment which is much more important and should be valued much higher than say dd1 is really pretty, dd1 is really talented.