Does every parent really think their kid is the most beautiful?

[OhEmGee24]

This was a conversation bought up in the staff room regarding parents and their kids. What's the mumsnet opinion?

Ds 1 was a very pretty baby, and very smiley. I honestly, truly thought he was the most beautiful baby ever, although I wouldn't have been daft enough to tell anybody else that. Now at age 7 he is less pretty so but of course still gorgeous to me. DS 2 looked like John Sergeant from birth. Even my mother, and friends, commented on his unfortunate looks. He was a skinny baby with a very fat face and mad, staring eyes, and no hair. Now, at 5, he is slender rather than skinny, his face has slimmed and elongated, he has a beautiful smile and big, green eyes and light brown hair. He's not classically beautiful but I marvel every day at how well he turned out, considering!

I love this! I remember thinking that DS1 was the most beautiful, adorable baby ever. I took countless photos of him, videoed him, couldn't stop looking at him. When we were out with the pram people would stop and say, "Oh he's a big boy!" or, "Oh look at his chubby cheeks!" and I would get offended that they were implying he was fat. Now looking back at his baby photos he was huge!! I mean really, really huge. And round, with 3 or 4 chins, spare tyres on his wrists and ankles and big saggy cheeks (on his face!) He looked like a weeble! Now he's 9 he's normal weight and height wise and pretty average looks wise. I still think he's my gorgeous boy but I don't think he's particularly good looking in a way that would make people stop and stare. He's a boy, he looks fine, I love him. But I cringe when I think back to how absolutely convinced I was that he was beauty incarnate!
When DS2 was born he was really strange looking. I kept apologising for him when people came to visit! And while we were in hospital the Tempest photo lady came round all the beds to take photos. I told her I didn't want any taken because he was too ugly and we'd wait and see if he improved as he got older and then maybe get some taken in a few weeks (thinking I could hide bits of his face with hats or something!) She just stared at me (thinking what a horrible person I must be) and left!! Now he's 2 and a lovely cute toddler but for those first few weeks... How awful was that - imagine thinking your own baby was too ugly to photograph!! I did (and still do ) love him though....

Implying that a baby is fat is not bad.
Babies are supposed to be chubby and it's often a sign of health.

Besides, people often say they are big because they have nothing else to say.

Fention. Yep, I could happily eat him for breakfast. Very very cute! Thank you for the distraction.

When my dd was born I thought she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen - I mean, you know - call the newspapers! Everyone else who saw her agreed that she was breathtaking. I look at the photos now...and...ye Gads... She was this bright red, skinny thing with one runny eye, spots and a bald patch. Gotta love those hormones...

Lol.... so it's working then

Pics in profile

(boastboastboast)

DS was very, very hairy when born. Ears, shoulders, back, arms... I called him 'wolfboy' and crooned over his beauty and perfection for hours at a time, while objectively knowing - but not really 'getting' - that he looked like a freak.

He went through a truly gorgeous phase around 6 months. People remarked on it (not least my own family, who said things like "gosh, he's nice looking isn't he?" in surprised voices, often adding "You never had such neat features as a baby" or "specially coming from you two." Some people suggested baby modelling for him at that point, which I laughed at - he never stayed still ever, ever, and the idea of it just made me

That 'beautiful' phase didn't really last.

He is now fairly normal, nice-ish looking, square-shaped thug of a 2 year old, all energy and gumption and fun - but I don't think he's the most attractive -looking child in the world, objectively. He is to me, of course. But it's not exactly something I expect anyone else to agree about!

Oh Marianne...your profile isn't public so now I can't go and fawn over your ones

Ah man, I was really enjoying this thread until now.

Frank, your kids are gorgeous, Fenton that is one verrrry cute baby, and a very cute pup. Well done on the distraction.

I had two equally cute puppies. It is such a shame that they have both grown up to be two of the stupidest mutts that ever lived. It's a good thing they're handsome.

It is now :)

Marianne - they are lovely. The smaller one is very cute!

Thanks Pudgy!

Frank your daughter is also beautiful - is that her in all the photos?

Grear photos by the way!

My DC are good looking but their dad and I are both very normal and average. I was actually quite worried before they were born that they would turn out ugly. That sounds awful doesn't it?

DD3 is in most of the pictures, yes. The others are mine too, there's a 13 year gap between DD3 and DS (the next one up in age). All the pictures are ones I've taken with my phone.

Wow Frank, you take good photos.

I find that English children are almost always very cute but don't necessarily grow up to good-looking adults !

I have com

My DS1 was a gorgeous baby and toddler and little boy really. I had people tell me so in the street. I remember one friend who I didn't see often actually gasp and say 'my God BBB, he's beautiful' like a minger like me should produce such a child.

One of DH's colleagues at the time had a DD of about 7 or 8 who modelled (she featured in a big ad campaign for a supermarket so it wasn't just her talking her DD up) and she was convinced that DS should be a model too. I thought he was gorgeous and probably slightly above average but I was still aware that there were other children better looking than him. On the other hand you do see some children with faces only a mother could love but I thin they can all still look very cute. All that round chubbiness - so cute.

DS2 was very cute but I didn't think he got DS1's looks. He had and still has faintly, a stork mark on his brow which detracts from him a bit but I don't even notice that now it has faded and his hair is usually over most of it.

The boys are 8 and 12 now and of the 2 I reckon DS2 is the better looking at the moment. He is still cute which a little boy nose which hasn't started taking shape yet and he has lovely colouring. DS1, poor soul, is neither man nor boy at the moment. He is sometimes appears good looking but sometimes he just looks like he is still trying to grow into his face. I reckon he will be OK when he is grown up but he is certainly in the in between stage.

So no I don't think my children are the most beautiful ever but they are OK. Somebody will like the look of them one day and take them off my hands. [grins]

Stupid phone, that should have said, i have complete mother mist when it comes to ds. I think he is gorgeous, it does intrigue me though as I know my judgement is clouded and I wonder how he looks objectively iykwim.

DM had been a model (Hardy Amies and the like) in her younger days so imagine my feelings when she told me how disappointed she was by how I had "turned out". Fortunately I got DD's brains..

My 3 DDs are beautiful and I often wonder how I produced such beautiful children but I know that they are not the most beautiful.

DD1 only became beautiful as a teenager, DD2 once she was just past the baby stage and DD3 has always been beautiful.

The thinking and rational part of me knows that my chdren are the most beautiful to me. That part of me knows never to enter them into a life of child-modelling; of beauty pageants or competitions in general. Or to do anything but modestly nod when their beauty is being discussed.

My heart says 'fuck you, Thought and Rationality!': my girls are THE most beautiful, THE most interesting, THE most fascinating, wanted, longed-for, heavenly angel babies you could ever possibly imagine in your wildest dreams

I love my baby girls with every breath and bone in my body. Every good Mother does. I may not brag, but my heart tells a different story.

I have found this thread really interesting. My parents were quite 'brutal' and always spoke to me rationally from young. So while i'm sure they thought i was pretty (and i was quite conventionally pretty child till i was about 8) they never gushed over me. Other friends were fawned over and told they were not only beautiful but were better than everyone else. One friend was taken to stage show auditions by her mum despite not being able to sing or dance and all the other children going to stage school. It was like an 80's version of x factor. Very sad.

My sister (and i know this is going to sound awful) has children that would be described as, er, not aesthetically pleasing, or conforming to traditional ideals of beauty. From birth they have been 'unusual' looking. One has an underbite, sticking out ears and a massive nose the other has an odd shaped head and almost inside out looking face (oh god i'm going to hell!). Both have worn extremely thick glasses from very young. BUT, my sister thinks they are gorgeous. Not only does she think it tho, she tells everyone. She insists wherever they go they 'do a dance' (usually something highly sexual and wildly inappropriate) for people who are so obviously uninterested - It is so embarrassing to see the looks on their faces. You can see they are thinking 'is she serious'. She sits and stares at them for hours on end, and when you say 'what are you doing?' she replies 'i can't stop looking at how beautiful they are'. She also gets professional photos of them done almost monthly and gives them to people as gifts.

I am now pregnant with my first and i am worried i am going to lose all power of rationality as she has clearly done (not that she and reality were exactly best friends before). Either that or i wont be able to see anything beautiful in them. I am hoping like the rest of normality to find a happy medium. :)

Spuddy I think a happy medium is a good thing :) To give you the alternate perspective from your sister's behaviour, I was regularly told that I was NOT nice looking, 'but never mind dear' by my mother.

I am not a hideous munter but nor am I specially gorgeous. My sister and I had braces for a few years and that really improved our massive overbites - I don't think we were ever gorgeous children. However my mother told us repeatedly that we weren't gorgeous, and also remarked admiringly when other children were 'nice looking' with a sidelong 'but of course that's not everything is it my darlings?' in a slightly pitying tone. So while I don't hold with telling your children that they are perfect, and I certainly don't hold with telling other people that your children are perfect/beautiful/the most brilliant beings on the planet - I do think it's rather nice if you, the mother, privately thinks so.

I asked my mother what she was trying to do re: our self esteem, a long time after. She told me that she and her siblings were frequently 'put down' by their parents and other adults in their lives 'so we didn't become bumptious and unbearable' and it was just considered good parenting.... I like that I'm not looks obsessed but I would have also liked to be shown how to 'make the most of myself' (especially important in a work/professional context) without being made to feel that (1) wanting to be attractive was vain/shallow and (2) Pointless for me to even try. Which was the strange mixed up message I got from my mother for quite a lot of my youth. My mother has a terrible self-image and hates her body, and basically was unable to say anything nice about ours, either.... not the best of messages.

I'm going to have a houseful of boys so I imagine I'll have other concerns than how they feel about their looks - but it's a huge thing that girls are told they must care about, and I think it's hard to get right.

Dear God Spuddy - that is not normal.