not really an aibu more wwyd/wwythink? -d-h and dm

[tinky19]

Stopping with parents. I went to bed h stays up with m. Just went down to find m draped over h. Both jump. M pulls dress down (it was up round her thighs). Wtf?
H says nothing happened?!

No i marched straight back upstairs. Too shocked. H (eventually) followed.
I' m now lying in bed fucking next to him with 9mo dd bf wondering wtf to do?!

I agree with different. This isn't your fault and you shouldn't be worried about the consequences of their actions.

Can you ask her what she was up to? no matter what spin they put on it, it's weirdly inappropriate at best, even if you are being really generous.

If you hate confrontation then this mut seem too mug to deal with but you have support on here.

Ok tinky.
See to your baby and if she's still up, go down, get a drink and ask her what she was doing. Stick to the facts.

Do you think she'll get defensive? You've done nothing wrong.

I dont want to/ cant spk to her at the moment. But, i cant just fall asleep as if nothing has happened. What about my dad ffs!

Out of the three of you (you, H and mum) does anyone have any previous form for bad behaviour? EG has your mother a history of flirting with your partners, or with any available man? Does your H have a history of flirting with other women and/or being actually unfaithful? Or do you have a history of jealousy?

I am also worried about the time delay in him following you. To be cynical, it has given them time to get their story straight.

And don't let him get off on the being drunk = didn't know what was going on thing. Many a true word/deed said & done under the influence.

I hate to worry you op, but I am finding it hard to see any innocence in this.

When i asked him he seemed to try to stall iykwim as if trying to figure out what i saw first

he then went bacj down stairs for a drink (or to collaborate???)

Solidgold i think it would be fair to say we all have history of those things (m h and i)
H never cheated as far as i am aware but flirt
m has cheated on d
i can be a bit jealeous when he flirts.

He went back down after you spoke to him?
Hmmm

Are you meant to be going away together tomorrow?
And as solid said about previous form - I think that's relevant too.

Supposed to be going on hol for a week

Just heard m go to bed

Sorry x post

What a shit situation. And it's their doing. I can see why you are reluctant to be confrontational but you can't ignore it either ....

Have you reported your post and asked for the thread to be moved?

It must be horrible lying in bed with him. Have you finished BF?
Can you get downstairs if being in the same room is too much now she's gone to bed?

Yes

it doesn't look good.

Suggest getting out of the house tomorrow with not even a glance to your mum (she will know what you think, no need to make things even more difficult just yet)

Sort the issue with H first (even if that takes months of marriage counseling) before trying to deal with your mum.

One thing at a time.

Thank you so much. Thank god for mn.
How do you make people fess up when you know somethings wrong?
I know h will continue with nothing happened

Ok maybe go down, get some space and have a think.

It's not fair, apart from everything else that you have to worry about your df and the holiday.

Oh tinky, this doesn't sound good. I'm sorry. I do think you need to confront them both. Doesn't have to be aggressive. You need to hear their explanations. Will you be able to tell if they are telling the truth? My DH is a crap liar (he's also drunk as a skunk and still out and about hence why I'm up in the middle of the night, grr, but that a whole other story)

What do i say to dad?
Not sure i want to sort it out with either of them. I always felt i could forgive h if he cheated once but this is different.

"How do you make people fess up when you know somethings wrong?"

Talk directly, just say that you both know there was more than "nothing", no need to insult your intelligence by denying so.

If you don't feel like going in that holiday, is your call to call it off.

He might never fess up bit you know what you saw and if you are clear and immovable about that then he knows that he can't fob you off.

Agree with Athen. Get out tomorrow. Fuck the holiday.

Don't say anything to your dad, not at the moment. Reading everyone else's advice maybe you shouldn't confront them both, just DH. If you ignore your mum tomorrow then once you've left she'll have to say something to your Dad...?

The fact that they were in the 'position' they were in is pretty stomach churning tbh even if nothing else happened. Its a line isnt it?!?

You don't have to say anything or you could just say what you've said here in your OP.