Gone with the condiments

[LouP19]

Evening all,... Thank you to whoever came up with this lovely shiney new thread title!!

As for Fedora, well I looked and it certainly wasn't her I saw in the picture!! He did go to Italy though, I saw pictures on his camera of the Bay of Naples, and also a few video clips of boat trips. And that's when I saw one single picture of a young blonde who he called 'Fedora'. 'I took a picture of her as she's very attractive and I wanted to remember what she looked like'. Jeez, I had a bit of a go, but I left that one because I couldn't be arsed to have an argument. This was about 4 days before he left.

Anyway, onto other things. Had one of these evenings where I can't stop my brain from whirling over details from the last few months. Times when I believed him because it meant an easier life. Believing him meant not being called 'paranoid' or insecure' or told to 'grow up'. Believing him meant some peaceful times on my own, not having to put up with him stomping about, resenting the fact that he was here. Believing him the time he claimed he got a 4 1/2 hour train back from London one evening in November when he smelt of aftershave.

Arrrggghhh! I know there's nothing I can do to stop this churning, but I am SO annoyed at myself. There were signs, but I just hoped things would get better. He always complained of being under pressure at work, so I had faith that he was trying his best.

Am so tempted to contact his boss and let him know what he's being doing under the 'guise' of work. Obviously, I wouldn't do it, but it is so tempting,......

Need to remember revenge is a life well lived blah blah!!

I think you should instruct your solicitor to hire a PI and there is official, legal documentation that you had to go to those lengths to find him. Following him/getting other people to follow him could make you vulnerable if the divorce becomes 'nasty'

Ask his parents for his home telephone number and do the reverse phone book online ...it tells you addresses .

If they don't give it , try 192.com ?

Hijack: droves, its lissie. I de-regged in a strop and rejoining when I calmed down. I meant to reply to you. Hope you and ds are ok.

"When I eventually cleaned under the bed I could have knitted several more cats with the fluff I found"

I want a like button for that

Thank you Atthendof. and because I'm a painfully shy person in RL I have just because you liked my comment.

You made me too, Amber!

Ahem

Having just discovered Lou is a Forest fan, and I'm a devout Rams supporter (Derby County) - I think we may have just hit a difficulty

:-p

oops again

Oh and s delicious Greek salad for dinner here, twas most delicious

He texted:

'I am so sorry for hurting you and letting you down. If there was any way you could forgive me and forget this ever happened then I would want to be with you but I'm not sure this is possible. I miss you and your company. I am away much of September for work but just wanted to say that I do still love you.'

Right. 'This is all your fault because you would never forgive me. I am still not taking responsibility for what I've done, and there is no chance of us ever getting back together because I will NEVER take responsibility. I miss the fact that you did all my washing, my ironing, the shopping, took care of the home without me having to lift a finger. September is going to be a difficult month (i.e. do you keep the baby and if so I'll have to tell OW) therefore if I claim to be away with work for most of it you will hopefully fade away into the background. I am burying my head either further in the sand at a most crucial time.'

Lies, lies, lies. Honestly, this man is such a COWARD. Yes he's manipulative, deceitful, dishonest, cunning - all that and more, but everything he does screams of cowardice more than anything. The 'I'm away most of Sept'. Rubbish!! And still no reference to my pregnancy.

Oooh, Babylon. It was good whilst it lasted,.... .

Actually, half my family support Forest, the other half Derby, so used to a bit of banter,.... Derby did well today, it pains me to say!!

We've been at the adventure farm in burton all day so didn't even catch the results! I'm sure my dad will fill me in at some point

Re: advice on here, I primarily use this as a source of emotional support. My solicitor has given me a brilliant briefing on what to do next re: legal proceedings. I've got a great counsellor who is helping me make crucial decisions re: the pregnancy. I am keeping in touch with these both regularly, as I am the building society and the utility companies. I have prepared all my financial documents, everything of value is stored away from the home.

I come on here to read recipes, hear anecdotes, swap stories, share 'rants'....

Oh Lou I don't know what to say. Just my heart goes out to you. xxx

Oh Lou, that last text of his is so self-absorbed, isn't it? Yet he thinks that telling you that he still does love you will mean something to you.

So much head fuckery. Must be very hard.

I was at Hardwick today in lovely sunshine. I thought of you; I bet it's your kind of place.

God he's conceited! That was his invitation to take him back, you know?! He probably thought you'd have begged by now but, as you haven't, he's offering to meet you half way. He's a piece of shit!

Xx

Do you think that was an invitation to take him back?!! I'm not so sure. I think he's just trying to transfer blame. I dunno,....

Not much point dwelling on it, but as usual it's all 'Poor me'.

I think he wants you to text back saying oh I love you too, gush gush. He is deluded. He is acting the victim. I totally agree he is being a coward. Everything he has done in this situation has been cowardly. Not much more cowardly than leaving your partner of 10 years by just clearing the house and not telling her!

I wonder if your solicitors letter has prompted this?

Read:

'I am in receipt of your solicitor's letter. Reality has now bitten me in the bum. I have decided to harp on about emotions (1) in order to hopefully butter you up and (2) hopefully also distract you by referring to emotions while I hunt around for a solicitor to hire. I do not want to have to deal with any of the emotions associated with what I have done and the consequences to you or me of the baby I fathered with you but I do have to concentrate now on the legal aspects of our divorce so I will be maintaining radio silence for September.'

"I do still love you" - oh Lou, this Chunt is a right piece of work.

How dare he! How dare he!

As for being away for most of September...yeah right, snigger! He's such a loser.

I can't stress enough how eventually this will be the best thing that ever happened to you. This is your chance to find peace and happiness and leave all of his twuntness behind.

On a brighter note, there was an idiot on my train the other day, who practically killed me by elbowing his way into the carriage and pushing me out

I yelled "you chutney twunt!!" as the doors closed.

If we all start using it often enough, this will be his only legacy - a byword the world over for unspeakable behaviour.

YOU might, Lou, but there could be 20 lurkers who read what is happening and take all the advice to heart - so better that the info is correct. I am sure you would not want anyone going through something similar to think it is all super and easy and pick up poor info.

He doesn't love Lou.

He uses the relationship as a way of distracting her from the nuts and bolts of divorce and the fact that he is shacked up with a pregnant trollop whose baby will shortly be financially dependent on him.

The most he wants in terms of a relationship with Lou is to secure a place to crash if the OW throws him out. To keep his accommodation options open he will lie as much as he feels necessary in order to get the job done.

I don't think that was an invitation to take him back but just anither attempt to take no responsibility.

Being the cynic that I am, I would be tempted to call his bluff and text him "i forgive you my love, please come home" and then see how he comes out of that,. but obviously that is NOT a good idea.

Save the trxts though, I'm sure OW would love to see them, well... if I were her I would. But perhaps I am too practical for my own good.

Math, your text interpretation is far better than mine,......

Can I just say something awful? Only once?!!

I am so tempted to keep the baby just to piss him off

There. I KNOW this is wrong wrong wrong, I would never ever make a decision based on that rationale. But I am human!!