Gone with the condiments

[LouP19]

Evening all,... Thank you to whoever came up with this lovely shiney new thread title!!

As for Fedora, well I looked and it certainly wasn't her I saw in the picture!! He did go to Italy though, I saw pictures on his camera of the Bay of Naples, and also a few video clips of boat trips. And that's when I saw one single picture of a young blonde who he called 'Fedora'. 'I took a picture of her as she's very attractive and I wanted to remember what she looked like'. Jeez, I had a bit of a go, but I left that one because I couldn't be arsed to have an argument. This was about 4 days before he left.

Anyway, onto other things. Had one of these evenings where I can't stop my brain from whirling over details from the last few months. Times when I believed him because it meant an easier life. Believing him meant not being called 'paranoid' or insecure' or told to 'grow up'. Believing him meant some peaceful times on my own, not having to put up with him stomping about, resenting the fact that he was here. Believing him the time he claimed he got a 4 1/2 hour train back from London one evening in November when he smelt of aftershave.

Arrrggghhh! I know there's nothing I can do to stop this churning, but I am SO annoyed at myself. There were signs, but I just hoped things would get better. He always complained of being under pressure at work, so I had faith that he was trying his best.

Am so tempted to contact his boss and let him know what he's being doing under the 'guise' of work. Obviously, I wouldn't do it, but it is so tempting,......

Need to remember revenge is a life well lived blah blah!!

Morning all, thanks for your comments, appreciate them. It's a bit chilly here this morning, but a beautiful day. Wish I could walk my neighbour's dog rather than be stuck at work!!

I know I can't overanalyse too much. It's just so hard when I think there were signs that I ignored or didn't say anything because I had faith in him. I guess they'll be many more 'lightbulb' moments to come. I wonder if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again,........

Anyway, going to try and be a bit more positive today if I can.

Do you think that sales of crumpets and vegi ravioli/ sausage and beans have peaked since Lou's first thread?
I have a pack of crumpets on the breadboard. I never buy them usually.

Conversely, the chutneys were on offer in the Co-op yesterday. They look delish, but NO WAY was I buying them!

Lou,
You will trust again.
DP and I went to Relate really early on and it really helped. We were both recovering from betrayal.
The one thing that helps massively is to be open when you feel insecure about something. I now trust him implicitly.

Thanks Bechamaw. When and if I do have another another relationship, I really can't see me hiding what's happened to me for very long. It's going to be part of me for a long time.
Sad thing is, even after this I probably still have faith in people. I still think I want to be in a relationship at some point too.
(Just seen Mr Linguistics and said 'hello'. He said he was only about on Wednesdays!! God, I'm behaving like a 16 year old! I think he's about 29 too!)

Hi Lou, don't feel bad about trusting him, as previous posters have said he was your 'D'H and you wanted to be able to trust him. Just because he's proven himself to be an arse of the highest order, it doesn't mean all men are like that - you will trust again.

Can you snaffle the neighbour's dog this evening? With it being such a lovely day and a full moon tonight (right?) it's bound to be a lovely sunset!

Morning Lou. I know exactly how you feel about trust. This is why I am having counselling and I said to her that I will never be able to trust anybody ever again. She said that I will because she will help me and to remember that every person is different.

I think that you should consider counselling for yourself, once you have come to a decision about the baby, either way, ongoing, you should have counselling to address the shock that you have gone through. I have found it extremely helpful.

I have actually been chatting to a man that lives not too far away from me. He has 3 girls, divorced, same age as me and we have a lot in common. Its early days for me still, but its nice to chat to somebody online and it gives you hope that you can do it, that you can meet somebody else and that he might not be a total fuckwit like the ex.

But you do have to go through the grieving process and the rollercoaster of emotions to work your way through this. Myself and everybody else on here who has been through the shock of a partner walking out suddenly, all understand exactly what you are going through and that is why we are here.

Apparantly tonight is a "blue moon". So today is the day. I must do some ironing, as I only iron "once in a blue moon" lol

Sleepless night wakings -
dark contemplation.
The day's sunshine shifts bad thoughts.

Great that you are getting some male flattery - nice boost for your self-confidence, even if you are not interested

FOUND it! Yay

Hope you are ok Loup?

Hey Lou! What do I need to rush out and buy for tea today?

TIA

Lou...It is NOT a sad thing you still have faith in people.

Faith in people is what will get you through this. I've suffered extreme abuse, and once I did lose faith in people. I regressed into frankly, a horrific life. Without faith, (in humanity) you cannot have the support you need to get through hard times or live a happy life.

Giving up my faith in humanity once cost me greatly. Keeping it is a sign of enormous strength.

Another favourite, simple though it is, is an oven done jacket spud, with grated mature cheddar. With a little side salad for good measure. But the cheese has got to be mature. I've had 2 or 3 of those recently and they hit the spot!!

Jacket potatoes and cheese are delicious!. Here's a variation; cook your JP, slice in half when slightly cooled then scoop out the flesh leaving a shell in both halves. Mix the flesh with your grated cheese and a drop of milk til well combined then pop back into the shells and cook in the oven til bubbling and brown all over.

it occurs to me Lou that you should have yourself std tested

If she continues with the pregnancy I think this is standard - I had a full screen as normal procedure when I had DD

Hi Lou,

I haven't posted since the first thread as I didn't feel I could add much to all the brilliant advice you have been given. But I just wanted you to know that I am following your posts and supporting you quietly from afar, and think you are amazing.

Also, I'm afraid I have a confession. I bought some caramelised onion chutney today, and have eaten some. I feel I have betrayed you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

Seriously, you are brilliant, keep doing what you're doing, lovely.

Did you say that the Rome trip was just before he walked out ? Is there any chance that the blonde is the OW he is shacked up with now ? Or would she have been too pregnant to have been the young blonde in the photo ?

If it's not her then he's not only been cheating on you, his wife, but probably on the pregnant OW while he was making plans to leave you for her. What an utter charmer.

I have been thinking the same as OhDearNigel that ChutneyTwunt may have been cheating on LouP and OW with the blonde in Italy but didn't want to mention it if it may cause more distress.

Lou - I think you're amazing and I'm still lurking on your threads (I delurked briefly once before). I like the sound of the linguistics chap

I have just eaten chutney - sorry

It was part of a hamper we were given last year, a jar of apple and walnut chutney. I had it with grated strong cheddar.

Urm - it wasn't that nice and I left almost half. It was bizarrely very sweet.

I am most definitely a savoury girl rather than a sweet girl.

Regarding the woman and if she could be pregnant in the photo, and not look it. Yes, I'd say so! Especially if she's young and it's her first baby. I didn't show at all in any way until beyond 51/2 months with DC1, and even then it wasn't noticeable much for the next month. So I'd say it could be her.

If we're talking jacket potatoes....scoop out the middle, mash it up with cheese and spring onions and 17lbs of butter, and some seasoning, then even more cheese on the top and under the grill.

If noone sees you it it, then it is actually totally calorie and fat free. This is true fact

You need a good handful of chives too

I keep wanting tinned veggie ravioli now. I've been wanting it for days, but I don't live in the UK so I am stuffed. :( Or rather, I'm NOT stuffed!

You know what? You're nothing but a bunch of enablers!!!!

Ignores urge for midnight snack...

Hello! Here you all are.

Thinking of you Lou.