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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Gone with the condiments

999 replies

LouP19 · 30/08/2012 21:12

Evening all,... Thank you to whoever came up with this lovely shiney new thread title!! Grin

As for Fedora, well I looked and it certainly wasn't her I saw in the picture!! He did go to Italy though, I saw pictures on his camera of the Bay of Naples, and also a few video clips of boat trips. And that's when I saw one single picture of a young blonde who he called 'Fedora'. 'I took a picture of her as she's very attractive and I wanted to remember what she looked like'. Jeez, I had a bit of a go, but I left that one because I couldn't be arsed to have an argument. This was about 4 days before he left.

Anyway, onto other things. Had one of these evenings where I can't stop my brain from whirling over details from the last few months. Times when I believed him because it meant an easier life. Believing him meant not being called 'paranoid' or insecure' or told to 'grow up'. Believing him meant some peaceful times on my own, not having to put up with him stomping about, resenting the fact that he was here. Believing him the time he claimed he got a 4 1/2 hour train back from London one evening in November when he smelt of aftershave.

Arrrggghhh! I know there's nothing I can do to stop this churning, but I am SO annoyed at myself. There were signs, but I just hoped things would get better. He always complained of being under pressure at work, so I had faith that he was trying his best.

Am so tempted to contact his boss and let him know what he's being doing under the 'guise' of work. Obviously, I wouldn't do it, but it is so tempting,......

Need to remember revenge is a life well lived blah blah!! Confused

OP posts:
BabylonPI · 04/09/2012 22:02

Oh OldLady

I'll take sone funny flavoured skittles Grin

Swap you for some minstrels, or maybe some fruit pastilles if I rummage in the sweetie drawer Wink

I have such a sweet tooth Blush and the fillings to prove it Blush

Lagartijadoesthecrazyshake · 04/09/2012 22:03

I wouldn't call it nit picking mself, but each to his own. Hope it all works out for you OP, I wouldn't wish what you have posted has happened to you on my worst enemy. I hope you can find some peace.

thewashfairy · 04/09/2012 22:03

Bakewell Farmers Market
www.peakdistrictonline.co.uk ? Peak District Food ? Farmers Markets9 May 2012 ? Bakewell Farmer's Market is the second biggest farmers market in the ... There is ample parking adjacent to the farmer's market with very easy .

Market was on 9th May 2012....... you could talk about the event this Summer then couldn't you........

KitchenandJumble · 04/09/2012 22:03

Troll-hunting and insults are really inappropriate, IMO.

My DH had to deal with a crisis at work not long ago. It was an emotionally draining and utterly appalling situation. When he was relating the situation to friends of ours recently, he said that it happened last summer. In fact, it happened in March of this year. Obviously, he wasn't lying. Sometimes the mind works in mysterious ways, especially around highly charged and stressful events. Thank goodness he never posted about this event on MN, or he might well have been accused of lying.

SweetFannyCraddock · 04/09/2012 22:03

ok, point taken.

you have got what you wanted since I first joined the thread. you have proven yourself to be bullies and I know when I am not welcome.

I have not trollhunted, I have offered support and advice, just in a slightly different way, and asked clarification on one point raised. however, i am not in the "right" circle

lou, I wish you well and hope you make the right decision.

toodle-pip.

Hawklore · 04/09/2012 22:05

Lou - I'm so sorry that you've got to deal with these insinuations on top of everything else on your plate just now. Very sad on your behalf :(

NotGeoffVader · 04/09/2012 22:05

Sweet - I hope you don't think I was bullying you - I was just considering that the timing of the event, against the bigger picture, was a futile detail.

BabylonPI · 04/09/2012 22:06

Oh NotGeoff that is a bit bad but I'm sure your dad would have wanted you to enjoy them Wink

I also like mini popadoms with the raita dip in fact the only savoury snack I'm not too keen on is the vegetable crisp thingies - dried out parsnip flakes or whatever Grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 04/09/2012 22:07

Oh well done, washfairy!

Mmm, minstrels, you say, Babylon?

SweetFannyCraddock · 04/09/2012 22:07

xpost, thank you lou, I figured it was something like that.

as before, i wish you luck. and my offer to talk via pm stands. if I were to get pg now, despite having ttc for 7y and suffering 14mc and an ep, i would still probably have to terminate, i was thinking about it earlier, and you and I wanted to offer my support.

however, i wont be picked on by a group of children. i know they are protecting you, but...

IvanaNap · 04/09/2012 22:07

Lou :(

You currently have to decide whether to arrange a midwife schedule or go ahead with a termination. You are caught between the 'magic' hurdle of a twelve week pregnancy and the urgency of a first trimester abortion.

Save your emotional energy for where it is needed.

Be good to yourself and stay focussed and strong.

RichTeaAreCrap · 04/09/2012 22:08

I've stayed away from posting on these threads since the earlier ones because I could see exactly what Porto was doing. She has proved us all right. Not the first time that I have seen this behaviour.

Porto, your recent post was absoutely disgusting. I don't know how you actually have the front to still post on this thread.

As you think that it is ok for you to ask questions, maybe I can ask you one? Why are you still here when you have been asked by the OP to leave her thread time and time again.

You think Lou is a troll, so report her, don't try and belittle her and troll hunt on the thread. It is not your thread, it is Lou's and nothing of what you say does anything more than upset her.

So please, leave the thread now. Nobody is interested in seeing you and your vile comments here.

What a shock that Sweet pops up and says that Porto has a point. She has agreed with everything you have said throughout the threads. I know you are friends on FB too and I know Porto has discussed this thread there, which is even more disgusting. It is pathetic. And to think that you were both crying that Porto was being bullied earlier on in the thread.

MarianneM · 04/09/2012 22:08

Nigel - I just don't agree with you.

If I was in the OP's situation my response would not be to post about it endlessly to strangers but trying to take control of the situation and trying to have a mature approach - which wouldn't for example include the very UNdignified terms that have been used by the OP and most posters about her husband (how old are we again?).

And there are other considerations now too since both of their families seem to be involved. And the OW and her baby. And the OP's pregnancy which almost appears to be a side issue. Which is odd considering how much the OP said she wanted to conceive, hence my comment about the self-absorption.

Moaning in a chat forum will not resolve anything.

BabylonPI · 04/09/2012 22:12

Yes OldLady Minstrels - they are one of my very bestest favourites don't you know Wink Grin

OhDearNigel · 04/09/2012 22:12

Well you might not agree with me, Marianne. That's just life, innit

MadBusLady · 04/09/2012 22:13

Some people need to be a bit less sensitive about these so-called thread cliques. There was a whole other thread about this and I think it's just silly. If you have the right to ask for clarification, or query things, or whatever, then other people equally have the right to answer you, tell you that your request doesn't make any sense, or whatever. That doesn't mean they're excluding you, they're exercising the same rights you have. Freedom of speech cuts all ways. If you don't behave like a dick (which I don't think SFC did) then other people won't behave like dicks back (which I don't think NotGeoff did).

SweetFannyCraddock · 04/09/2012 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OhDearNigel · 04/09/2012 22:14

Moaning in a chat forum will not resolve anything.

Well you could say that about anyone moaning about anything. In fact you could say that 99% of human interactions are futile as they do nothing to further the achievement of personal goals.

CockBollocks · 04/09/2012 22:14

Can I just say two words.......

Wasabi Peas - my new favourite thing Smile

SweetFannyCraddock · 04/09/2012 22:14

thank you madbuslady.

KitchenandJumble · 04/09/2012 22:15

X-posted wtih many others. I was just trying to point out that inconsistencies can occur completely innocently and are far from proof of dishonesty. Now it appears that there were no actual inconsistences in the OP's account after all. So the accusations of lying are even more appalling.

Wishing all the best for you, Lou.

BabylonPI · 04/09/2012 22:15

It would be very boring if we all agreed wouldn't it Marianne ?

On this thread, in RL, wherever.

But as you have demonstrated, there are ways of disagreeing without being personal and abusive - a discussion in an adult like manner.

It's a shame others cannot take a leaf from your book Sad

wheredidiputit · 04/09/2012 22:16

RichTeaAreCrap

I asked yesterday and before Porto just ignores the question.

Lou You don't have justify when things happen or when you discussed them in RL.

These things are probably coming back to you because your anaylising (SP) your whole relationship with him and seeing in a new light.

Sleep well.

Concentrateonthegood · 04/09/2012 22:17

As with all things in life, I tend to deal with things at face value. I'm taking Lou's situation at face value and I cannot imagine having to deal with what she is facing. Of course we all post with our own point of view, of course we do but that doesn't mean it isn't a faithful representation of what happened. I also get the point that Chutney will have his version of events. However, nothing can excuse his behaviour and his actions - the way he has acted is a disgrace.

And just because I should I am going to make a food reference. I bought 37p Tesco's crumpets. Very nice and not as doughey as some of the more expensive brands. Good night Lou and sleep peacefully x

RichTeaAreCrap · 04/09/2012 22:18

Let's just say I do know that Sweet, and you know it is correct too so please don't deny it. I am not paranoid at all - why would i be? This thread isn't about me at all so why would I be paranoid that you were discussing it on FB.

On the subject of 'growing up dear' you have also thrown a strop several times on these threads that you were leaving. Why are you still here? Either leave the thread or stop making your dramatic 'i'm off' statements.