I have name changed for this, and also have changed small subjective details to prevent outing myself, but the bones of my story is the same.
I was 35 when I found out I was pregnant, to a partner I had finished with about a month previous due to physical aggression. I had previously had an abortion in my late 20s, which I have no regrets about. The thought of being a single parent turned me cold, but at the back of my mind was the thought that "what if this is my last chance to have children?" This is what made me carry on with the pregnancy.
However, I seemed to have a bee in my bonnet about my ex should be involved, and be at the birth, be involved with the baby etc. even if we were not together and he came along for scans, ante natal visit to maternity unit etc. No doubt if Mumsnet had been around then things might have been different, but I was (wrongly) thinking that his support was better than nothing.
When the time came to give birth I had to be induced so it was not a surprise the day I was going to have the baby, the morning after I had gone in to be induced they took me up to delivery suite in the lift, and phoned the ex to come in, my waters broke in the lift. It suddenly became very clear to me that actually I did not want him with me whilst I was giving birth, I didn't want him to see me in labour, I wanted someone who cared about me such as a my best friend or my mum with me. Things were taken out of my hands as I had meconium stained liquors and the baby's heart rate dropped so I had a crash section.
When I came around the ex was there, he came in to visit dutifully, drove me and baby home, came around every day, then one day he just did not turn up. He literally disappeared (I later found out he had gone off with a woman - I can't call her OW as we were not together) and ceased all contact. For a while I was distraught, calling his family, his friends, crying my eyes out and begging them to tell me where he was etc. and basically losing all my dignity. Deep down I think I wanted him back so we could be a "family".
After this, I just got on with it, I found being a mum a joy, my baby was the cetnre of my world and I loved every minutes of being his Mum, although at times yes it is hard, and a bit lonely, my family - like yours are supportive, and also friends would invite me to do social things with them where I could take the baby along, so I didn't feel too lonely. I did hit a period of depression, and my lovely health visitor told me to "Don't think about what you haven't got, think about what you have got", which is something I often repeat to myself now in times of difficulty.
Due to my ex not being around to "help" me I gave up work - I was a shift worker and didn't see how I could work nights as a single parent, so I went on benefits. This was scarey at first, but because I was already well set up, had my own home, had some savings and a good family support system it really wasn't bad, in fact I would go as far as to say I loved it. Obviously it is different for young women who are pregnant and have to worry about housing and money, and I recognise that I was very lucky to be in such a good position to be a single mum (if there is such a thing?).
You are in a similar position Lou, you are well set up for a baby having your own home, and established in a career. Whilst I was on benefits I did Open University and had a complete career change and am in a better position now than I ever would have been had I stayed in the same job. Money was tight, but as I was an older single mum I never felt I was missing out by not going clubbing etc. as some of the younger mums at the baby groups would say that they felt. I would feel fulfilled by going for long walks with the baby in the pram, going to feed the ducks, visiting friends, going to baby groups etc. things that cost very little.
There is not one moment I regret what I did by going ahead with the pregnancy, but I know for sure I would be full of regrets every day if I terminated.