Gone with the condiments

[LouP19]

Evening all,... Thank you to whoever came up with this lovely shiney new thread title!!

As for Fedora, well I looked and it certainly wasn't her I saw in the picture!! He did go to Italy though, I saw pictures on his camera of the Bay of Naples, and also a few video clips of boat trips. And that's when I saw one single picture of a young blonde who he called 'Fedora'. 'I took a picture of her as she's very attractive and I wanted to remember what she looked like'. Jeez, I had a bit of a go, but I left that one because I couldn't be arsed to have an argument. This was about 4 days before he left.

Anyway, onto other things. Had one of these evenings where I can't stop my brain from whirling over details from the last few months. Times when I believed him because it meant an easier life. Believing him meant not being called 'paranoid' or insecure' or told to 'grow up'. Believing him meant some peaceful times on my own, not having to put up with him stomping about, resenting the fact that he was here. Believing him the time he claimed he got a 4 1/2 hour train back from London one evening in November when he smelt of aftershave.

Arrrggghhh! I know there's nothing I can do to stop this churning, but I am SO annoyed at myself. There were signs, but I just hoped things would get better. He always complained of being under pressure at work, so I had faith that he was trying his best.

Am so tempted to contact his boss and let him know what he's being doing under the 'guise' of work. Obviously, I wouldn't do it, but it is so tempting,......

Need to remember revenge is a life well lived blah blah!!

I think Portofino speaks a lot of sense.

Particularly on the thread where a MNer went out to follow the ex.

I just though the OP could be the ex or anyone for all we know, it was madness.

A quiche is like a clique. Porto I think you're banging your head against a brick wall. There are posters here with so much invested in this story emotionally that anything you say to try and inject some reality or correct the far fetched things will be take as a personal insult and the claws come out. Hide it for your own sanity.

I struggle to see bullying here tbh. People do not agree, how can that be bullying?

I'm not quite sure what Porto actually wants Lou to do. Lou has already got herself a lawyer, a counsellor (with whom she clicks, even if said counsellor is supposedly unethical and unprofessional) and has spoken to the bank and utilities. What else should she be doing?

Posters are ganging up on one poster and dismissing everything that she says, being rude and attacking her. That's bullying.

Anyway,m I'm taking my own advice and rehiding.

Lou, I will pm you with that recipe, if you still want it.

Porto is not doing too badly on that front herself fanny, given the number of her posts that have been deleted.

Even if that was the situation, why would one come back night after night?

I don't want Lou to do anything. She has it sorted. I think her supporters should stop with encouragement of stalking and flirting with other men and cease to give shit legal advice. And allow other posters to offer thoughts that don't go with party line.

Stop encouraging flirting? Why?

There is something about his text that appears to be pathetically genuine. Personally, I'd use it to blow his new little life up in his face - but I am a vengeful little bastard.

I don't know any narcissists so I find it so incredibly strange that he can't actually see that the damage he has caused make the marriage irreparable. I guess this is a common theme amongst this type of person?

As for the thread gone quichey, I'm not sure. I wouldn't let quiches or posting an opinion to the polar opposite of a million others frighten me - but like I said, I'm a bastard. I am grown up - I am unafraid. I am honestly sorry for those who are too timid to post because they are afraid their opinion flies in the face of the majority, but seriously? Grow up. Post it. Have faith in your opinion.

A quiche will continue to be eggy and pastry-like when good men fall silent...or sommat along those lines!

I'm hilarious.

The difference is, some posters are too happy to press report onm any view that doesn't tie in with their own. It is bullying. I stand by that.

Portofino

If this thread is not to your liking why don't you do what Lou19 has asked for you not to post on here.

From what read (all threads) Lou19 has been sensible in real life and got professional advice.

And this thread is for her to muse over what happening along side light hearted banter.

Do you trust MNHQ to see past vapid reporting to the posts that actually do need real attention and/or deletion?

If I've seen someone post legally incorrect advice on the given circs I'll report that post, and tell them why. I'm a solicitor.

I am not however a mod and I am not the troll police and I will not tell a poster when I believe it's time for their threads to move to OTBT.post is then deleted,

But mnhq decide which posts get zapped so if you genuinely think the removed posts are an action of bullying, then it's from them.

Fucking tablet added those words at the end.

CFC Love your view and agree entirely, I would hope we would tell Lou if she was being an arse - but she's not! - I certainly would't be afraid and Im sure there are others to.

OK off to find some quiche.

The only person who really matter in all this is Lou, this is her life. She was having fertility treatment with a man she loved. She went through the trauma of thinking it failed, swiftly followed by her husband leaving in the most cruel way imaginable. She then finds out both she and the OW are pregnant. Now Lou has to make a heartbreaking decision, jut one month ago Lou would probably given anything to be pregnant with his child and now she has to choose if he will keep this much wanted baby or not.

Every poster on this thread is free to leave, or to post their opinion as long as it is in keeping with TOS. The only person who can be bullied here is Lou, this is her life, she has to live it. She has chosen MN as a safe place to let out some emotions and have some banter which he may not feel he has in real life. Lou should not be harassed and bullied on her own thread.

Nobody needs to be afraid to post, Lou does not have a meltdown every time someone disagrees with her. There is however a difference between disagreeing and turning the thread into something its not. It is a support thread for a woman going through a horrific relationship breakup, and making a decision about her child that will effect every future relationship in her life. If that does not belong in relationships then what does? This is not a legal advice board, it is good that some posters help bring things back if something is way off track but the thread is here to help lou get through this terrible time.

Try to remember that this should be the happiest time in her life, it has turned into a nightmare. Anyone posting here should be here to support, that does not mean agreeing with everything but it does mean finding a constructive way to make a point and then leave it alone for lou to consider rather than endlessly repeating the same points.

No. The posters on here are bullying. Read back through the threads. Porto has been abused, accused of being nasty on other threads, ridiculed..

And, yes, I trust mnhq. But different staff have different criteria and it would be interesting to know how many posts of hers are reported but left.

As I said (and I mean it) hiding the thread now.

But, but, but she's a FOREST fan

Good lord, Even Tara's tutting at me for being a Rams fan

I have had cheesy jackets for supper because of this thread

I have posted on here. I am not a bully. I am not scared to make my point.

However, enough hijacking. Make a point & move on.

The food talk on this thread seems to be getting Lou eating more which can only be a good thing while she decides on how to proceed.

If Lou got a percentage of the sausage & beans / crumpe increase sales generated by this thread she may end up not needing a penny from Chunt (joking in case anyone thinks I am giving financial advice!)

You're right poogles, and thanks to this thread I'm considering a career change and new business venture

God I have been lurking for the longest time but recent comments have forced me out of the woodwork to scream at the top of my lungs !COME ON YOU PIES! There I said it I support Notts County but that doesn't stop me from wishing you all the strength you deserve my Red friend.

You are doing exceptionally well under the most head mangling circumstances and you have been extremely restrained in your reactions towards the Chunt. I wouldn't advise following the guy or encouraging other mumsnetters to do so and I fail to see why anybody would be scared to point that out. I dont buy the 'people are too scared to post' line. I've been posting on this forum since 2004 and have never known mumsnetters to be backwards at coming forwards

I'm sorry he's still acting like a bit of a twat Lou, he's practically delusional isn't he?

Don't worry about some harmless flirting with linguistics guy, you deserve the occasional moment of harmless escapism and esteem boosting during this nightmare!