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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ok, you asked for it...a thread just for the crap men come out with!

128 replies

Yogagirl17 · 29/08/2012 22:41

I'll start:

"Of course I want to try to save our marriage. I'll end the affair immediately...but I can still be friends with her, right?"

"I'm not jealous that you've moved on and are dating other men...I'm just concerned for your safety because they are clearly all mad, stalker, paedophiles"

"I'm drunk and horny....sorry I was just sharing my feelings"

OP posts:
MsArseBiscuit · 30/08/2012 07:26

In labour with ds1, unable to sleep so had been wandering about downstairs but went back up as I was feeling lonely and frightened. Told him, as he lay in the bed, that I felt lonely by myself, his answer was ' well, why don't you take the dog with you next time you go downstairs'.

queenofthepirates · 30/08/2012 07:43

Remembering why I'm single..... Smile

watchoutforthatsnail · 30/08/2012 07:44

I only stay with you Because I love the dog - knobber exhusband.

I was on adult friend finder looking for a girl to join us, how selfish are you to accuse me of cheating - dickhead exhusband

I carried on having affairs Because you were cross at me for the first affair I had - wanker exhusband

Sensing a theme here?
:)

Original poster
Yogagirl17 · 30/08/2012 07:48

Sounds like the dog would have been better company!

OP posts:
watchoutforthatsnail · 30/08/2012 07:49

He is! :)

Pickles77 · 30/08/2012 07:49

Keep going, these are really helping with my break up Grin

ANewDoll · 30/08/2012 08:12

You are so stupid and paranoid - there is nothing going on..................

A week later.............................

She was there for me in my darkest moments!

Offred · 30/08/2012 08:40

XP- After he escorted me to hospital and stood over me and forced me to have an abortion. "I'll meet you in the pub at 7pm" me forced self through floods of tears to go sat there until 11pm, never came, went and found him doing drugs with his friends "fuck of being so needy I don't want to deal with you just now, I'm upset too you know."

After cutting up my stuff and hiding it: "I didnt do it, you must have"

After finding naked picture with the caption "here are the pics you asked for xxx" - "she's stalking me, I haven't slept with her"
After him leaving to move straight in with same girl - "we aren't together" after him living with her for two years six years after he left he still says he never slept with her till 6months after he left Hmm

"she can't be my baby we weren't sleeping together" (no you raped me) "she must have been conceived when you took ds (7months) away for Xmas with your friend" I had a weekend away with my female friend and her 3 year old son to go on a santa train.

Boyfriend after xp - me: "sorry I'm on my period" him: "WTF?! So excuse me for wanting sex with my girlfriend." me: "I don't mind if you don't" him: "omg that is disgusting, no!"

"don't look at the floor, people will think you are unconfident." me: "I just like looking at the floor. I'm not unconfident and I'm not sure I care what people think about where I look" him: "well I care so don't"

"12 stone is fat, if you ever weigh more than that I'll dump you." cue diet Blush

First boyfriend: after a fella he picked up in a gay bar gave him a blowjob in another room "I just wanted to see what it was like, sorry!"

Fling: sang "thank you for loving me" aggressively at me on karaoke everytime I was in the pub because I didn't want to be his girlfriend.

Pickles77 · 30/08/2012 08:42

offred I want to give you a hug- they are vile. I hope you are happy and content in life now Smile

javotte · 30/08/2012 08:45

"You're so fat, you should be grateful someone wanted to have sex with you at all"
(after raping me. I was a virgin)

watchoutforthatsnail · 30/08/2012 08:52

Just ridiculous, do wonder how they Think It's acceptable

My exhusband again, on turning up at our new army flat, in Germany, after travelling. Which was so run down and dirty, I burst into tears, his comforting words ',shut up you ungrateful bitch'

Upon being upset that my c section wound had a massive superbug infection ' you are pathetic and hysterical, you need to man up'

On being found out to be having Yet another affair ' you kicked me out the house, I started a relationship with her the next day, It's not cheating' reader, I kicked him out at 4:30pm.....

Men, idiots.

Offred · 30/08/2012 08:53

Yes pickles very happy now thanks! Smile

Offred · 30/08/2012 08:54

Javotte Sad

stubbornstains · 30/08/2012 08:55

offred and javotte Sad . I hope things are going really well for you now and these horrible men are well and truly out of your lives.

"Well I still fancy you" (this after dumping me when he discovered I was pregnant). Oh, that's alright then.....

javotte · 30/08/2012 09:04

Yep, I dumped the bastard. I'm still feeling so stupid for not dumping him straightaway (or even before it happened - it's easy to spot the red flags with hindsight).
I married a decent, loving, respectful man. Smile

CuttedUpPear · 30/08/2012 09:14

20 yrs ago...XP, looking at me with a critical eye, offers this useful gem; "You'd be better looking if you were of Spanish descent"

Current DP, on being challenged about not consulting me on his plans; "I'm not making any big life decisions without you - buying a house isn't a big life decision!"

Snorbs · 30/08/2012 12:08

(said on Christmas day, surrounded by family and just as presents are about to be handed out) "I didn't get anyone anything. Ha ha!"

"I promise you I haven't been drinking. I've had a drink, but I haven't been drinking" Confused

"Of course I'll pay half the cost for DS's school trip!" followed by "I haven't got any money".

Oh, wait, sorry - these are all from my ex and she's not a man.

LOL, women are such fuckwits!

Offred · 30/08/2012 12:12

Ha ha snorbs! Grin

dondon33 · 30/08/2012 12:22

"you must be fucking stupid if you think I'm abnormal for hitting you, count yourself lucky I don't use weapons"

All righty then!! Hmm, Lucky me eh?

"stop your fucking whining, all women deserve a slap, you're no exception" :@

" I've never hit any of my Ex's It's YOUR fault, you make me do it"

Like I believed that bullshit, he showed he was quite experienced.

" Think about it you stupid bitch, I wouldn't lose control if I didn't love you, would I"

That would be a nope, you wouldn't lose control if you did love me dickhead.

" Ha ha seriously, who do you think is going to look once at you never mind twice. You're ugly, stupid and always miserable. You'll never find another boyfriend. Best stay with me then you don't need to look"

Fuck you! fuck you! and again fuck you! It's funny, I stopped being miserable once he'd gone :) And have a lovely DP :) :)

"I'll destroy you, you'll be fucking sorry you ever met me (100% correct with this comment) never mind leave me, I'll hurt you in ways you didn't think possible"

I accepted that challenge willingly. He has hurt me not only physically but literally did destroy me for a while but I still wouldn't change my decision to split.

Olympicnmix · 30/08/2012 12:24

She (OW) will make a wonderful mother to the children. She's just what they need.

I thought you could leave and OW could come and live here (speaking of family home)

You know that xx I bought you for Christmas, you haven't used it yet, there's someone else who'd appreciate it (yes, the OW)

I want to come back and live with you and the dcs - snivel snivel

Xabian · 30/08/2012 12:40

"what makes me a good husband? Well I don't hit you do I?" ("D"H)

That makes it all ok then doesn't it?

gettingeasier · 30/08/2012 12:41

Fucking hell Olympic really ????

Yep had the "She helped me through a very dark time "

Whilst on a break in Venice:

Him - They like your sort here
Size 12 Tall Me - What do you mean
Him- Bigger women

Or whilst in a theme park with with quite a variety of shapes and sizes " This place is helping to make you look good dear"

Or comment on his proposal of marriage to me (when size 16 with 6mo baby)
"Well I asked you when you were in that state didnt I "

silverdollarqueen · 30/08/2012 12:44

Ds had a kitchen set for his 2nd birthday.
ExP visited for first time in 6 months and said "why has he got a kitchen? Are you trying to make him gay?"
Angry

CogitoErgoSometimes · 30/08/2012 12:45

Written note announcing end of marriage left on kitchen table... The first part was something typical along the lines of 'I'm leaving. It's not working out.' etc and it finished with 'by the way, don't forget the washing machine repair man is booked for Friday'. (Another chutney thief)

Thistledew · 30/08/2012 13:02

By phone and text from exP, several years after split:

"I have changed, I have had therapy and am in a better place. I treated you badly but am different now. Can we get back in contact? I can't stop thinking about touching you."

[Called and texted me at 4.30 am because that was obviously the best way to persuade someone you have stopped living up your own arse and are prepared to pay the smallest smidgen of attention to what they might need or feel Hmm ]

From a supposedly platonic male friend by text:

"Admit it - you want to have me naked and to have sex with me. I can tell." (several texts along these lines sent over a couple of days).

"Why have you stopped returning my texts?"

"Why did my texts make you feel uncomfortable? It was obviously a joke"

Hmm Angry FUCK OFF!