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Original poster

DP mocking my job applications

157 replies

SpottedGurnard · 28/08/2012 23:10

We have moved to Devon for DPs job, great for him but bad for me as the overall majority of jobs down here are minimum wage.

One minute he's telling me that I need to apply for every job available right now, the next he's mocking an application that I'm doing that is a little better paid than most but is effectively customer service on an information desk at a university.

I have spent a lot of time on the application as I was excited to have found a job that isn't minimum wage and that will mean that I can meet lots of new people and be in a young environment (I am not too many years out of university myself so would fit into a university environment).

Now I just feel a little bit shit and like I can't win. By moving down here I have given up any chance of getting a good job for the next few years- there just aren't the same kind of jobs here as you get in the South East.

AIBU to feel very fed up with him right now?

OP posts:
MountainsMove · 01/09/2012 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinterMymble · 01/09/2012 22:32

spotted you sound totally lovely. I am so glad you are planning an exit. He is a complete bastard. I do hope you can escape his clutches. And good luck with the uni apps! There is clearly so much good stuff ahead for you. Just meed to get away from this wanker.

TurnipCake · 01/09/2012 22:39

Spotted - my ex ex used to drive like a twat; very aggressive on the roads, it would make me very nervous. He did it on purpose. The more I hear about your partner, the more I think you would be better off without him

(My most recent ex was a doctor. He thought his ticket to being a 'good catch' was the fact that he was an attractive doc. Guess what? I'm not bad looking myself and I'm also a doctor Grin) so my response to that was, "So what? It doesn't make you special" The problem is, some people fawn over these types and it makes them all the more arrogant. My ex got a very bad name for himself for his rudeness to others and flirting whoever he could get away with. Being in the profession just boosts their ego and all in all, these men want a doe-eyed little yes-woman to swoon over them. You don't sound like the type.

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 02/09/2012 08:56

Spotted, is he a named driver on your insurance that you pay for?

tb · 02/09/2012 23:17

Spotted, you could always take him off your insurance. You could say you had to do it to save money - seeing as he is too mean/entitled to organise finances on a 'normal' basis.

If he 'needs' to use your car to impress his mates/mum, why on earth has he bought himself a 'shed'?

Good luck with getting out.

Rustyspringfield · 03/09/2012 05:01

Spotted its clear that he has zero respect for you.

I wouldn't take him off the insurance, he would just take the car anyway and damage it just to spite you, and you would be left with no car and a hefty bill.

Seriously, I hope you are planning to leave - quickly and quietly. Please don't drop any hints to him, I think he's the type who could get really nasty Sad.

Take care

Original poster
SpottedGurnard · 03/09/2012 15:44

I am changing my car at the weekend and am changing my car insurance. My old company paid the insurance on the car that's going back so it didn't cost anything to put dp on.

Having to get my own insurance means I can tell him I can't afford to add him on. I'm getting an aygo which he won't want to drive anyway as apparently "it isn't a man's car", I don't care about that when it costs £20/yr to tax! Im picking up this car at the weekend and is going to mean a lot more independence. Will speak to my parents about moving back when I go up to get the car.

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 03/09/2012 17:05

Sounds good!

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 03/09/2012 17:22

Sounds like a great plan :)

How are you feeling? You sound much happier, hopeful almost.

TheDogDidIt · 03/09/2012 18:10

Great going! Smile First steps taken towards getting shot of this asshole.

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 03/09/2012 18:11

PS OP the fact that he would drive aggressively in your work car which would cause you massive hassle to sort out if there was any damage is yet another red flag.

HissyByName · 04/09/2012 11:45

Driving like a twat to scare you is Abuser 101.

Classic.

Original poster
SpottedGurnard · 04/09/2012 16:22

I had my first counselling session today, it's nice to be able to unload everything from my brain.

She told me to stop trying to do everything and then beating myself up when I don't. I have to accept that right now I am not very well.

First stop counselling and sorting my brain out, next stop independence Grin.

OP posts:
MountainsMove · 04/09/2012 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HissyByName · 04/09/2012 18:48

You are not unwell... you are suffering from soul poisoning.

Get yourself away from the toxicity, you'll feel tons better.

Heleninahandcart · 04/09/2012 19:35

Exactly what Hissy said.

travailtotravel · 04/09/2012 19:59

I just started reading this thinking flag, flag, and what a prize arse he sounds like when you're doing your best when i see you've come round to realise this isn't going to work.

I am so glad you're holding up - keep posting, we're here! And start to list your stuff, that's a great idea, but already hide the really important stuff like documents and bills and things that you need. And shred any bills with your address on you don't need ....

Original poster
SpottedGurnard · 04/09/2012 22:04

He's been squeaking like a pig and shouting things all night as his OCD is playing up. I cannot live like this.

I have been secretly packing a bigger than usual bag so I can spend longer than planned at my parents to sort things out.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpottedGurnard · 04/09/2012 22:12

Oh and after cleaning the whole house today so I don't have to live in a shithole, he has gone to bed and left on the coffee table: 2 glasses, an empty beer bottle, empty can, a dirty plate and a dirty bowl.

FFS.

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 04/09/2012 23:25

Oh spotted I hope you can get away from this idiot soon :(

HansieMom · 04/09/2012 23:29

Ah, this sounds familiar now. Squeaking and jumping to soothe himself? I suggested last time he was in the wrong profession and you did not like that. But really, I think a doctor's mind should be totally tuned in to his patient when he is working, and I think his mind is spinning with intrusive OCD thoughts. He has to restrain those thoughts when working, but can let them out at home.

How can he have a dirty car and be OCD?

LemonDrizzled · 05/09/2012 00:19

He clearly has a unique form of OCD. If he actually had OCD could he leave all that mess out in the living room? Or cope with a dirty messy car? That is not OCD! It is Obnoxious Controlling Dickhead.

Keep working towards freedom!

Middy86 · 05/09/2012 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessieMcJessie · 05/09/2012 15:36

Gurnard, is it possible that, wanting to go to medical school yourself, you idolised him a bit because of his job? Now, you may still be planning medical school, or you may have decided to take a different path after the exam didn't work out, but you don't need him. Can you seriously imagine a career that follows in his footsteps, with him saying "been there, done that, did it better" all the time? Anyway it sounds like you have made the decision to leave, so good on you and don't be swayed. The only thing I'd say is don't do a moonlight flit- tell him calmly that it's not working out and that you will be leaving, pay whatever you owe on bills etc, wish him luck and tell him you'll be gone when he gets home from work. Keep your dignity and don't do anything that would give him the chance to label you an unstable nutter.

You sound like you will thrive when you are free of him. Never look back.

belagh · 05/09/2012 19:38

Sounds like a situation I had a few years ago.
I went home to Scotland for Xmas.... Talked to my dad... Hired a 20 box van.... Drove back to Berkshire with my brother.... Packed my worldly possession, which was oh everything.... I left him a single bed tho (more than he deserved... Was more than a little abusive).... He arrived back just before I left... Cheery o and that was the last time I ever saw him... Thankfully
Twat had been in hospital over Xmas cos he shot himself in the hand with his air rifle.... He felt a little sorry for himself