DP mocking my job applications

[SpottedGurnard]

We have moved to Devon for DPs job, great for him but bad for me as the overall majority of jobs down here are minimum wage.

One minute he's telling me that I need to apply for every job available right now, the next he's mocking an application that I'm doing that is a little better paid than most but is effectively customer service on an information desk at a university.

I have spent a lot of time on the application as I was excited to have found a job that isn't minimum wage and that will mean that I can meet lots of new people and be in a young environment (I am not too many years out of university myself so would fit into a university environment).

Now I just feel a little bit shit and like I can't win. By moving down here I have given up any chance of getting a good job for the next few years- there just aren't the same kind of jobs here as you get in the South East.

AIBU to feel very fed up with him right now?

I agree with some of th others now you've elaborated. Get out now whie you can.

Oh dear, this is an arrogant doctor who is pleasing himself with his lifestyle and his career and not interested in you whatsoever. As others have said, you are the loser in this move, workwise and because you are reliant on a complete plonker, and he's not even prepared to compensate you in terms of helping you out with rent and food.

Thank goodness you found this out now before children.

By the way, university jobs are great, but that's why 100-200 apply for each one, so don't be discouraged if you don't get it (you may be the lucky one of course).

But, you can do better in career terms (if you are clever enough for medicine) and boyfriend terms. I would go back to your old job/break free now, he's clearly going to continue to be a twat and what you really don't need is to throw your lot in with him.

What is it with trainee doctors/consultants?!

Run. Run like the wind.

Every week you stay it will become harder to leave. If this is what he's like now, imagine how bad it will be in 6 months or a year.

Fuzzpig- Thanks for asking, I didn't get a good enough score. I went back to my parents town to do it and it really set off ny anxiety.

Middy- I bombed one section badly. Don't really know what happened as it was a section I was doing ok in on all of the practices I did. There are still a few unis that don't look at UKCAT but have really high grade requirements for degree and A levels which I will apply for. I have those requirements but Im guessing everyone else who applies will do too. What did you go into in the end?

OP my ex was like that - he slowly wore away all my confidence and self belief and it took me a very long time to get it back.

I passed up on opportunities that I really regret not taking - I'm just starting out on a career I could have been doing ten years ago if I hadn't listened to him. Look honestly at your relationship and how happy you are really.Don't make the mistakes I did!

Ps. Fingers crossed for you for uni!

Get the hell out. Move back to the SE and look for a job there. I'm saying that because of what you just said about "trying hard enough" and your financial situation.

Emotionally abusive ie. needing to put you down and belittle you and 'decide' whether or not to help you til you get work are all tactics to control you ... has he not heard of getting your foot in the door at places. Like previous posters said Uni's have great conditions etc and like to promote from within ... Apply for the job and when you get it , leave him.

What Dazzled said. Also:

• Separating you from somewhere that you were independent (SE, via work) to a place where you are dependent, and then belittling your attempts to regain independence.
• Changing his tune to decrease your confidence - e.g. telling you he hadn't liked your job, after the event. Leaves you not knowing where you are.
• Saying he would support you and then putting conditions on it - again, after you have become dependent on that support. He isn't even supporting you anyway, if he's buying £300 jackets and you're not sure you can eat.

Classic, classic, classic. Get out. Thank God you aren't tied to him.

I have to echo what everyone else has said and say get out now. Fast.

OP, I'm more concerned than when I first posted. This sounds like a bad situation. What do you want to do?

OP, I didn't realise you'd posted before. From your other threads, your DP is horrible and abusive and the stress of the situation is probably what's making you ill. You need to leave him.

Sorry about the exam SG.

It really sounds like he is contributing to your anxiety. It may not be obvious because he is quietly undermining you.

Fuzzpig- I can see where you're coming from. I felt like he was constantly undermining my previous job with things like:
"They don't care about you, you're just a number to them"
"I don't get why you're even bothering going to work. No one will know you're not there"
"I don't get why you're working so hard, everyone else around you does so much less and gets better results"
"When I did your job I worked 11-1, hit the target number of people I needed to see and overachieved on sales. what are you doing wrong?!"

I'm a real perfectionist and it tore me apart that I wasnt achieving the targets set for me even though I had to move jobs every few months unlike everyone else in the company. I would never dream of not going into work even though I may have gotten away with it.

He keeps telling me now "you wouldn't cope with the same job again" even though I was signed off with stress because it wasnt a normal industry job I was doing.

A normal industry job would not require me to move house every few months and would be a completely different ballgame.

Gad,he it just gets worse with every post, SpottedGurnard. His controlling tendencies obviously predate your move to Devon, it's just that the move has given him mpore scope to work with . Get out now, while you still have your self-esteem.

And don't look back.

Imagine you really didn't like someone and you were trying to make them feel bad about themselves and doubt their worth and competence. What would you say to them?

"They don't care about you, you're just a number to them"
"I don't get why you're even bothering going to work. No one will know you're not there"
"I don't get why you're working so hard, everyone else around you does so much less and gets better results"
"When I did your job I worked 11-1, hit the target number of people I needed to see and overachieved on sales. what are you doing wrong?!"

Run run run. He sounds horrible.

Op why would someone who loved you say all that?

agree with the other posters. Run for the hills. No wonder you are anxious living with a man like this .

He's a tosser. LTB.

OP just throwing my voice into the chorus. Please heed the MASSIVE red flags waving away for all to see. Dont make the mistake I did - I moved to Devon for a partner but unfortunately because i didnt heed the signs and get out quick I ended up pregnant within a month and very much dependant on him. Its taken me 18 months to get away and while i wouldnt change DD for the world its an 18months I wouldnt have had to endure soul crushing abuse throughout if id left when I had the chance. Get out now while you can.

Seize the day and all that!

Please, please, PLEASE get out of this relationship.

Your last posts are just beyond all proof needed to tell you that this man is not a friend, he's the very opposite.