I got ditched, but I want to know why! Can I text him?

[GivenToFly]

Short story, had one date with someone I met online. Phonecalls/texts a plenty, met up, had V successful date. Few more days of texting... then nothing. A few days after that I text him and said 'what made you change your mind?' but he did not reply. Not surprisingly..

Anyway, so its killing me not knowing what I did! I'm well paranoid now as I literally have no clue what I did wrong. I want to know! I know full well that this guy is not interested as its been a few weeks since last text etc, but would I be completely insane to send him a message on FB (I deleted his mobile number, but we are still FB friends for some reason) asking him why? I know it will sound totally loserish and stalkery, but I want to know!

I think if you are never making it to a second date - and also, going by your posts here - you are possibly coming across as bitter, whiny and needy and that's what's putting them all off.

After a few years it's kind of difficult not to whine a bit. :) I would.

And not sure what's the difference between not having a long term relationship and not getting a second date. Less time wasted.

Plus, not getting to a second date may be the opposite of desperation. In that perhaps the woman values herself too much to put up with crap.
And there will have been about as many rejections of men as vice versa.

LurcioLovesFrankie

No lecture needed on Bunnyboiler- fully acquainted with the film- I was using the term loosely, as it is in everyday conversation- maybe not accurately, I agree. I was using it for a woman who pesters a man way beyond what is reasonable when he has backed off. That's all.

I wasn't saying that strong, confident women are off-putting per se. I was implying that a poster who describes herself as that- and in the same post says that she has never got beyond Date 1 in all of 4 years- might have a certain type of personality which is off putting for some men. I agree 100% that successful emotionally secure men are unlikely to find such a woman unattractive.

But I do detect a certain arrogance in these posts and a cynicism, and- if this is allowed- recall a former thread on this where more details emerged and gave a better pricture of why this was happening ( unless I'm confsued with another poster.)

I think that describing yourself in highly flattering terms, whilst also describing all men who use OD as losers and pond life , says an awful lot.

Well Im gettting a little bit sick of people excusing the behaviour of those who have no manners or respect for other people. If thats how you live your life then fine, but I personally expect people to treat eachother with respect. On this website and on bloody online dating.

Well i agree with you OP, though I don't consider it worth following up with this guy. Would you not consider trying this the old-fashioned say, i.e. joining a voluntary group, going on a sailing or cycling holiday, joining a hill-walking group? The whole concept of meeting people in RL through doing some activity seems to have died a death but imo, people should give it a try. At worst, at least you've had some fun doing stuff with other people.

Another thing OP, why friend someone like this at such an early stage on FB, and I ask this question of everyone who uses FB actually? Newsflash: FB can just be used for your actual friends y'know. There's absolutely no way in hell I'd FB or accept an FB request from someone I'd just met, or only ever chatted to online.

Social media and online dating won't help anyone with confidence or self-esteem issues that's for sure.

the old-fashioned way even..

ZOMBIE

C'mon MNHQ, surely youbcan do something about this boring poster reigniting old threads?!

Note to Ava: Only boring people get bored.
Jog on!