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Original poster

Honey traps and stunning women aplenty - dating thread 20!

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 22/08/2012 10:38

20!!!!!!

Bloody hell :)

OP posts:
MadameOvary · 26/08/2012 18:00

Hehe Snape Shall I tell you about the time I messaged my ex as some girl on an adult website? While I was with the man I left him for? Now that's complicated.
No wonder I don't mind being single Grin

MadameOvary · 26/08/2012 18:02

Yoga
Just write "Meh. Coulda woulda shoulda"
It's the text equivalent of a shrug Grin

Llareggub · 26/08/2012 18:04

Sorry to say this snape, but if it is complicated then maybe it isn't to be? I wasted a very long time in my 20s swooning over a very good friend. Our mutual friends were aware of my "love" for him and encouraged me. I/we were convinced that he was in love with me too and tried all sorts of things to get us together. In hindsight, I think we thought we were in an episode of friends.

OhWesternWind · 26/08/2012 18:07

You know all the red flags about pervy messaging - well, is it okay if erm well I kind of started it Blush and then he joined in? Or does that make me an old perv to be avoided at all costs? Haven't asked for photos though, just sent some rude texts!

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 18:19

Afternoon ladies,

I am all of a dither today. Went around 'man I have just realised I am in love with's' flat last night with my female friend last night.

It has confirmed I am utterly, utterly besotted. I may die of misery at this rate. At one point whilst my friend and his flatmate were eating dinner he asked me to go into his bedroom so he could show me a flat he is wanting to rent on his computer. We were in there for ages, and then he played me a song on his guitar (he's in a band, very talented even allowing for my bias)

This may sound dense but would a guy ask a girl into his room and play her a song if he didn't like her? He's just so nice to everybody that I'm really confused. I'm even really paranoid that he fancies my friend.

I am just a massive ball of confusion at the moment. Help me!!

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 18:22

Reading that post back I've realised it makes me sound about 14! Not a woman in her twenties. Christ, is that what love does to you? Blush

AnuvvaMuvva · 26/08/2012 18:23

I completely agree with every word of Time's awesome post:

"I think, my dear, that there is a very good chance that your honey trap is working, and you should keep it up. Don't let the men meet but do fill PM in on 'events and happenings', highlighted with gushing description. And put blusher on your cheeks to enhance that rosy glow"

Even go so far as not being the last-minute gym-taxi for PM. "I'd love to see you but I can't!" and let him panic you're having lovely dates with Prof all the time. Let him FEEL THE FEAR OF LOSING YOU. You've been so sweet, so helpful, so friendly Hmm so far that he genuinely has NO FEAR you'll ever go anywhere. Which is NO HELPwhen it comes to giving him the DISTANCE HE NEEDS TO REALISE HE LOVES YOU.

Sorry about caps. I have stronger opinions on this than I anticipated. Blush

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 18:24

New message!
'click!'
Someone else.
Sad

AnuvvaMuvva · 26/08/2012 18:25

Milk -- to me, yes, it sounds like he fancies you. But if he fancies you without having the balls to ask you out, does he deserve you? Hmm Hmmm?

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 18:32

:D at anuvvamuvva for your CAPSing. Distance is the next logical step I think.

llareggub (I swear I have to check the spelling of your name each time I type it!) yes, this is absolutely possible, don't worry at all and certainly don't apologise! The thought has definately crossed my mind on several occasions, hence the time limit in the honey trap. This is a last, concentrated attempt. It's going to be rough and there will be wobbling, wibbling and no doubt a good bit of wallowing. That's fine. I've giving myself the opportunity to sort it out or stop it once and for all and get on with loving someone else life. :-)

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 18:35

Oh milk Sad. He was trying to get you to kiss him! Kiss him!!!

Yogagirl17 · 26/08/2012 18:35

LOL MadameO - that made me laugh. Particularly like the use of the word 'Meh' - may seriously consider sending that instead@ Grin

Milk - don't feel bad, I'm 40 and not doing much better!

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 18:39

But was he Snape? because I got a little bit emotional and he just asked me if I was OK, and then we sat for a bit then went back to the living roomSad

It's just really awkward cos I was having a daft fling with his best friend up until recently. It's over but I think he thinks I still like his friend. I couldn't give two hoots about him!

It's soooo bloody adolescent. How can somebody be right under your nose without you noticing them? Then all of a sudden they are all you can think about. It's insane!

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 18:39

The word 'Meh' should ALWAYS be used. It's a great wordGrin

MadameOvary · 26/08/2012 18:44

Milk - tell him you're trying to remember a song about a guy who is trying to tell a girl he really likes her, and all the while she really likes him too, if one of them just had the bravery to speak up Smile

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 18:51

Madame Haha, If only I were that brave. He'd probably just go "eh?" and go back to strumming his guitar eyeroll

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 18:52

Oh, why emotional milk?! Just because it's all a bit much? No decent chap is going to kiss a crying woman...

'how can someone be right under your nose without you noticing them? Then all of a sudden they are all you can think about.' oh, hope springs eternal. Ask him out! (this advice applies to you, not me)

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 19:01

Snape Emotional because he's just so incredibly talented, wonderful and all round bloody amazing. I've literally never met a more incredible man. Plus he's genuinely a lovely, lovely person. Which is a first for me as I am notoriously attracted to wanker, pretty boys who love their own reflection more than anything else.

I can't ask him out, I just can't. I've had enough rejection in my life without putting myself up for more. Plus, although I met him first, his friends and my friends are all really pally now. I don't want to ruin things so we can't hang out together.

Just to make it worse I was trying to set him up with one of my best friends at one point facepalm. Now I'm paranoid that he actually fancies her not me!

Like I said, all utterly childish and adolescent. I can't cope with the trauma!

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 19:01

Stand down from defcon1. PM is offline. Grab a bite to eat ladies, as you were...

snapespeare · 26/08/2012 19:03

Oh milk. I understand, I really do. I can offer no solutions, just bottomless empathy.

Milkandlotsofwineplease · 26/08/2012 19:04

Thank you Snape. I offer my own in return, as one person in a f**ked up situation to anotherSad

Llareggub · 26/08/2012 19:09

I'm stepping away from the online world tonight because i have been invited to for drinks at a friend's house. I am certain it will be full of young, married couples but hey, you never know!

AnuvvaMuvva · 26/08/2012 19:11

Filed under "Unsolicited advice you can ignore", here's my patented 10-step Plan for Reeling-In PM

  1. Stop initiating stuff. You can reply to texts, but you can no longer initiate them. You want him to think, "Hmroo? Where is she? She usually texts me by now..." His thinking this would be GOOD. Every text he doesn't receive from you is 100x more alluring than one he does. (I'm writing that realising how awesome and clever and funny your texts are.)
  1. Stop talking about deep, emotional, intimate stuff with him. Go right back to the beginning when you'd have light, fluffy "my life is awesome!" acquaintancey-level chats. It's just sexier. Girls love that soul-splurging stuff - he should earn that right (by asking you out on dates and saying he loves you). If he tries to pour his soul out to you, stop being seduced into thinking that your being 3am-chat supportive will make him realise he loves you. Say "I know you'll be OK, you're totally awesome" then nothing more.
  1. Keep seeing Prof, and while you are in the amazing rosy-glow stage of Profness, set up dates with other men. As many as possible. YOU WILL RECEIVE NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS FROM DOING THIS. Oops, caps.
  1. Only allow yourself to see PM with 48 hours' notice. This will a) Make you seem terrifyingly busy; and b) Stop you being his good-for-now friend. Do you want to be his friend? Nooooooo. No, shh, you really don't! It's agonising!
  1. TELL HIM NOTHING. When he probes for Prof gossip, say, "It's great! We're having a lot of fun!" then change the subject. When he mentions how busy you are lately, say, "Yes! My social life has exploded. It's fun!" say "It's fun!" until you want to shoot your own mouth out of your face for sounding so banal. If he asks about dates, say, "I've got loads coming up - it's fun!" but give him no details.
  1. Look really, really hot every time you see him. Really hot. Rock that gym-bod. Tight white vests and nice jeans, etc.
  1. NEVER LET HIM SEE YOU'VE VISITED HIS PROFILE. NEVER.
  1. Do this until it kills you. If you need a deadline, do it till November 5th. If by then he is not trying to get you off someplace romantic to watch fireworks with you, ramp it up to No Contact till Xmas.
  1. Always look happy, happy, happy.
  1. And always look really, really, really hot.
snapespeare · 26/08/2012 19:22

anuvvamuvva. I love you. I can do bunches of that. Bunches! especially as that extends my original deadline we are going to give PM. 'the fear!'

You're an evil genius. I have so much respect for that. :D

hatesponge · 26/08/2012 19:28

There is no way PM can resist the Machiavellian plotting of the MN Dating thread Grin

I am officially bored with OKC. I have only had 3 views in the last 2 days. And one message from a man asking me to go for coffee. Except he lives in Arizona. And has now deleted his account.

I may have to go back to my old picture at this rate - it reaffirms to me that I really cant attract men with my face or witty personality, it's only the rack that lures them in!