I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

He's losing it if you ask me. Making bizarre excuses to make contact to provoke a response. Trying to keep a foot in both camps as it were.

Let's face it, he has buggered things up royally.....got two women ...I only think his behaviour is going to get more and more bizarre as he loses more and more control.

Go to the BBQ even if it's just for a short while, you need to keep busy at the minute x

Hi Lou,

The first few social events are the hardest (I found anyway). It just takes a bit of time to adjust. It gets easier though, and then you find you're having more fun without the chutney weasel.

I reckon the cat food is about attention, you didn't reply to any of his texts about the scan etc so he has done this... It's still about him though isn't it? I also think as well as leaving the cat food he was intending to snaffle more stuff away. Arrogant Weirdo - reminds me of so much of an ex. Shudders.

Blooming iPad keyboard, post meant to say 'women women pregnant'....He is behaving like such a pig but I think he is defiantly trying to keep the door open with you, def correspond through the solicitor from here on if you can.

Holy. Mother. Of. Pearl.

Cat food?? CAT FOOD???

WTF is he on??

Don't worry about calling him - at least you were angry, not upset, and it has reinforced the "no contact" idea in your mind which will make it easier to maintain in the future.

Onwards and upwards, and go to the BBQ - socialising makes things so much easier, makes the time go faster, and it will be a great glimpse into the future for you.

I now have a vision of his boot being filled with random gift wrapped pet products for every ocassion. He is an utter nightmare.

What a complete mentaller he is!!
Gift-wrapped cat food.... Seriously?

Hope you have a lovely evening with your friend Lou and that tomorrow's visit to the solicitor sets out a definite plan of action for your future.
Take care

Gift wrapped cat food!!! That is classic.

I think that box of cat food is a sign that there is some far corner of Chutney's brain where the tiniest hint of a thought is leaking through telling him that he is actually not a very nice person. Even his (disfunctional) mind is struggling to block out the nastiness of his callous and disrespectful behaviour.

Of course his childish ego can't bear the idea that he is not in fact a beautiful and flawless being. So, he quickly gift wraps some cat food for the cats. Coz, y'know he's a nice guy (in his mind only).

I think you are absolutely right that he was coming back to get more stuff. But to allow himself to believe he was being fair he returned your CD which he had accidentally taken. And he even left something extra for the cats.

It's a sticking plaster over the horrible wound he has created.

It's mind-bogglingly inadequate to actually help or heal anything because he is too inadequate to face up to the consequences of his own actions.

In short: nobber.

Who's up for slathering chilli jam over chutney twunts knob??

Two things. Go to the BBQ and have a fab time with good folks...knobber is now my favourite word.

De-lurking to say: Cat food! Cat food!

Cat. Food????

What the actual fuck? What the fuck is wrong with this poor excuse for a human being??

I wish I could fucking, fucking cause him some pain. Physically & mentally. I hate him.

Lou, you are awesome. It sounds bonkers to you now but one day, if you could be bothered (which you won't because you won't care about him enough) you'll want to thank him for leaving you because otherwise you wouldn't have met the totally fantastic new partner you have and be happy in a way he could never make you.

Believe me when I say leaving you for some knicker-dropping naive bird (although not the way he's done it) is the nicest thing he's done for you. They'll clearly not last the distance, meanwhile you have the chance to meet and fall in love with someone nice - when you are ready.

My exP was a massive narc and frankly abusive and when he left me I was suicidal . After some counselling (I wanted to work out how I'd turned into an abused person) I sorted my head out and a bit later met my fucking amazing DH.

Honestly, you will be happy again.

Gift wrapped cat food?! Well there's the next thread title!

You should go to the BBQ Lou, you'll meet more people and show Chutney you're supported and won't let him get you down.

Cat food? Tell him they only eat hand reared by virgins organic chicken breast and he can fuck off.

Or just dump said cat food on his desk with a sweet note saying you need your dvd collection back! Sure your boss would do that for you

Re bbq - think about it, and have some fun, you can't avoid all coupley events in the future at all, its just not possible and you might make a nice support network there too who can bad mouth the chutney nob.

On another note, ravioli......................ds (2) saw me checking it out and pulled off the thomas shaped pasta in sauce, so I heated it up and gave it to him with some extra strong mature cheddar on the top have never seen anything go down quite so fast with a little shout voice asking for "more mummy more". Thanks for the inspiration for lazy just got back from work mum, tis brilliant, so brilliant I had the veggie version ravioli myself with him. Incidentally dd could not be forced away from the nutella on toast which is the only thing she will eat currently! See I told you something good would come out of this

Oh and I have just relayed your story (in the brief) to dh who did a sharp intake of breath and said wanker...........................

What a prick. He just gets worse & worse. I bet he's sitting thinking how unreasonable you are after he was so kind & dropped round a gift wrapped nonetheless box of cat food. He must think he's amazing.

Honestly,I don't think anything or anyone would be able to get thru to him.

Lou,you're the amazing one here. Don't let a set back like phoning him once set you back. I suppose it's a bit like quitting smoking. You slip.up & have one but you have to accept it & get straight back to quitting. He's a nasty habit,MN is your replacement therapy & one day soon you will need the substitute less & less as he leaves your system more completely.

Go and try and have a bit of fun have a couple of pre planned answers with regards to your current situation so if anyone asks about you you dont feel floored.

You could go with a blunt "i'm single after my bastard husband got someone pregant and left with all the chutney" then a nice laugh should break the ice and stop any further questions!!

Cat food - words have failed me again!!

All this musical talk has reminded me of - my vote for Chuntney's theme song!

could you scoop up a cat poo and deliver it back to him gift wrapped?

*just a joke

I would go to the BBQ but make sure you can leave early if you want to.

I went to my cousins 18th three weeks after H left. All the family were informed he had gone apart from one person, anither couisins girlfriend. Guess who came and asked me where he was... I can LOL about it now, she was mortified, I sat and cried but it also helped me as she told me how her H had walked out on her years ago which I didn't realise.

I managed to stay for a couple of hours then went home but it was good having got that first time out of the way.

De-lurking to say what a weirdo and all other epithets used on these threads. Take care of yourself whether that be with laughing cow cheese, QVC or whatever. It will all get better, maybe not for a while but it will.

Hi again Lou just to share with you a bit of advice I was given when I became newly single after a break-up: Never say no to an invitation; you never know what it might lead to - a new friendship, a hobby - who knows?! So go to the village barbie, put on your best smile & hold your head high....

Hi Lou. Delurking to say you are doing fabulously (i have spent most of the afternoon reading all your threads). I have to say I hope you have married the worlds weirdest bloke, otherwise there's the worry that there may be someone worse out there! Is there a list of things you have always wanted to do where he held you back?

Hello Lou,
I would guess that he has been irritated by your lack of response to him in recent days. The gift wrapped cat food is a way to grab your attention and get some attention from you, giving him another chance to shine the spotlight back on himself, his needs and wants.

He is just taking the *iss really, the arrogant bastard, playing mind games to destroy your equanimity. Especially cruel when he must know how emotionally vulnerable you will be this week.

Try to relax, take care.
.

Hi Lou, just caught up. I would imagine the whole cat food thing is about the Show, the Emotions, the All Round Wonderfullness of Chutneytwunt. The expense is no object when I care type of thing.

I know what you mean about the BBQ but if there are loads of people there then it's easier to blend in as it were. It's when I'm out with old friends who are couples that I tend to feel a spare part.

Take care . x

Cat food?? WTAF ???

Nobber.

I would go to the BBQ. Worst case is you simply leave if you feel uncomfortable or unhappy. Best case you have a good time, meet old friends and/or some new people and forget all the issues you are dealing with for a few hours.

Word fail on the cat food and CD "re-gifting". Chunts mental thought process to arrive at the conclusion that this was appropriate escape me. The very least he could have done is send back some bloody teaspoons!

Don't feel bad about calling. Given what you have been through and how disciplined you have been with regard to contact never ceases to amaze me.