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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would I be a crazy stalker or does this sound normal?

182 replies

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 18:44

I was in the bank last week sorting out some things which meant I had to come in on two consecutive days to see the same lad who works there.

He is my age. (early twenties)

Anyway, we seemed to hit it off quite well. I ended up finding out lots about him but I can't work out if he was just doing his job and being nice to his customers or actually having a really good conversation with me.

I found out where he lives
what he drives
what he used to drive
what uni he went to/what he did there
his holidays
his football team
what he did the evening before
where he goes out and how often
how he gets to work
whether he enjoys his job
the crap parts of his job
whether he socialises with any colleagues
what hes doing at the weekend
what hes planning to do in the future
that hes learning a new language
where he eats lunch
about his awful customers
his old job
where he grew up
his previous relationship ended
where he went to school/college
etc etc

He was comfortable enough to whip his phone out quickly to check an update on BBC sport that we were talking about!

At the end he joked that he would message me if I was right about my football prediction but obviously that would go against Data Protection Act etc so wouldn't expect him to! (I'd never do that to any of my patients as I'd lose my job and I'm sure would be the same in his situation)

Surely he wouldn't divulge so much about his customers/ job issues with everyone!

So, would it be really weird to message him on FB about our cheeky joke with the football? Bearing in mind, he gave me his work card with his name on so he was easy to find... or am I a stalker?

He was so lovely, normal and someone I'd love to spend more time with!

OP posts:
sausagewallet · 21/08/2012 23:02

Yes a friend request. The worst that could happen is he doesn't accept.
Go on, do it now before I go to bed Grin

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:09

but then he might just accept it but think I'm a weirdo and then write on my wall what a creep I am for all to see. haha.

Isn't a message more personal? I might open up the message window and see what I type then review whether to send it or not/if any of you talk me out of it...

OP posts:
skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:11

maybe I could put some stalker justification in to the message...somehow. I'm not sure there is any justification.

OP posts:
Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 23:11

Am really bad at this kind of thing myself but you have the excuse of youth who apparently socially chat all the time! Carpe Diem! Life it meant to be seized.

FB him, tell him you enjoying chatting to him today - if he ever fancies going out for a drink here's your mb number.

RillaBlythe · 21/08/2012 23:13

Definitely a message rather than a friend request.

Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 23:13

No, don't apologise for getting in contact. FB a breezy message but one that leaves the ball in his court slightly so if he was keen on you as it sounds, he will make the effort of responding.

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:18

I've started the message!

OP posts:
McBee27 · 21/08/2012 23:21

Definitely do it OP! I was 23 when I met my now husband, at a friend's part, 4 years ago. I was too shy to get his number, so asked my friend for it the day afterwards ; it then took me 4 days to work up the courage to text him! I was worried about coming across as a stalker too! I think I just said something like 'hi so and so, it's so and so's friend from the party on Saturday. Hope you don't mind, but got your number from her as really enjoyed chatting to you and wondered if you'd like to go for a drink sometime?' Just keep it nice and chatty and he won't think you're a weird. And if he does, well he's obviously an arse anyway :-)

Flojo1979 · 21/08/2012 23:25

Don't msg him asking him out, just send a casual msg saying nice chatting etc and let him do the running

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:26

shall i sign it off with 'my name' (the girl from the bank) or something else?

OP posts:
Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 23:30

reference something you talked about and sign off with your name?

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:32

I started with the jokey thing he joked he'd message me about...

I haven't asked him out but made it just a friendly message.

Going to sign it off with my name and another reference. aaargh. I may leave it until tomorrow and save what I've written in case it is rubbish!

OP posts:
Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 23:33

See, I would ask him out for a drink as getting in contact to just to chat is a bit stalkerish but contacting him with a purpose isn't, iyswim. If he's keen it's likely you'll chat in between meeting up anyway.

Flojo1979 · 21/08/2012 23:33

Just press send!

Olympicnmix · 21/08/2012 23:35

Yes, press send. Don't sleep on it.

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:36

oooh. haven't sent yet. I've never asked someone out before!

OP posts:
milkymocha · 21/08/2012 23:38

Do it Grin
This is quite exciting (i need to get out more Wink)

thetrackisback · 21/08/2012 23:38

Please press send. I've been lurking but can't contain myself any longer!!!

effingwotsits · 21/08/2012 23:39

What I would do is fb message him a little "2-0 you were right" or whatever it was, regarding the mutual sport interest, adding a smiley face ( a wink is overstepping Wink).

Of he doesn't reply then it doesn't matter, and if he does, then it opens the floodgates for shameless flirting etc Grin

thetrackisback · 21/08/2012 23:40

Ha!ha! This is distracting me from Facebook!!!

thetrackisback · 21/08/2012 23:40

Oh to be 23 again.............

LifeMovesOn · 21/08/2012 23:40

Send - nothing to lose and maybe lots to gain!

I'm a sucker for a romanceSmile

Good luck Bear

skyofdiamonds · 21/08/2012 23:41

Oh godddd. I exited but saved what I typed. I'm going to go back and do it. Any more suggestions in the next ten minutes before I bite the bullet will be gratefully received

OP posts:
thetrackisback · 21/08/2012 23:44

Send a friend request with a lovely message how you enjoyed talking today and a bit of banter about the footie and see what happens!! He will be very flattered cos you sound lovely!!!

Heleninahandcart · 21/08/2012 23:46

Do it. Many years ago I still remember meeting a random man for a brief work meeting. Thunderbolt, and apparently the whole office noticed the chemistry on both sides. I was his client so I would have had to make the contact. 25 years later I still wonder Grin