Dh has no direction.

[BonnieBumble]

I am sick of having to live a second best life due to dh's refusal to think beyond tomorrow. We are going to spend the next 10 years miserable and broke because of dh's pessimistic attitude and refusal to make any changes.

I have so many plans and ideas that could help our family to live a really comfortable relaxing lifestyle, yet dh refuses to even discuss. He burys his head in the sand and even though he admits he is thoroughly miserable he refuses to do anything about it.

This is groundhog day we have been here so many times and I'm not sure I can do this for much longer. He saps all my positivity and i'm
becoming more like him every day.

If you don't have a shared dream of the future together what is there to keep you bonded? Isn't this about your and his hopes for the future and your mutual struggle to achieve what you want? If he does not want the same or he does, but will not work to achieve it , doesn't that point to quite a fundamental incompatibility at worse or, at best, to an unworkable situation? You are in danger of either never getting what you reasonably want and your spirit being crushed in the process.

I would suggest then, moving yourselves into the box room now and letting the children have your room straight away. I think if your H becomes a little uncomfortable/cramped in a very small bedroom, he might be a little more motivated to rethink a sensible move.

I assume his plans are for both children to share a room until they leave home?

You need to discuss a five year plan and a ten year plan with DH. Where you want to be and how you will achieve it. Unless something changes you will be in the same house and in the same situation in 5 years time.

Your DH sounds depressed and controlling at the moment, which is no fun for you or the DCs. You need more space and he would benefit from a smaller commute. I can't see what his problem is with the move. Why is he saying a 9 year old can't be uprooted? How ridiculous!

Oh OP you poor thing, being ground down and feeling defeted again is awful.

"defeated" of course

I don't feel defeated today though Miss Faversham. I feel really positive!

I think that is the downside to being a glass half full person, I end up finding positives in every situation.

I'm glad you feel positive about it OP.

Long may it continue.